All good solutions mentioned so far. Hanging up when I hear more than a half-second of silence after my “Hello?” has got my friends and relatives answering almost before I’m done with the two syllables. 
My favorites are those who call and can’t pronounce my name. My standard response: “I’m sorry, but if you can’t even say my name correctly, I obviously have no business with you. Good day.” Cold callers suck.
Why do I suspect Fruity doesn’t have all the pieces to his puzzle?
Why do I suspect fruitbat’s point is above his brow ridge?
Why do I suspect fruitbat’s name is more apt than I originally thought?
:rolleyes:
Scylla, you’re a cold-caller!? Well, that explains the strange telemarketing call my wife got the other day. She doesn’t sail, so she figured that they were just going through the phone book, calling everybody in Annapolis.
My wife couldn’t get a word in edgewise, so she just hung up at that point.
I’m not at all surte that this will go over at all well with sailor. Expect an irate call…
I’ve found that just saying “No thank you, I’m not interested, please put me on your do not call list,” results in a prompt click and cutting of the connection. I’m not sure that’s what they’re supposed to do, per the FCC, but it does have the desired result and I don’t care enough to pursue the matter. Besides, that’s only on the rare occasion that the caller has been speedy enough with the auto-dialer, and not left more than a second of dead air on the line. I do worry that I’ve hung up on one of my Grandmas, but I’ll continue to take that chance.
I love you.
I don’t really get many of these calls at home, but whenever I get an uninvited call from someone selling something to my work phone, I just transfer them straight to a broom closet.
Note: If you decide to do this, remember to turn the ringer off on the closet phone. You be amazed at how long some callers leave it ringing before hanging up. 
Oh, another thing we used to do is when they ask for “The person who (makes your decisions about phone service) (handles your IT needs) (insert other position)”, we said, “Oh, that’s Helga (or use a name of someone who doesn’t actually work there). She’s on vacation this week.” Then when they call back and ask for Helga, she’d always in a meeting, or at lunch, or out of the office. *
*Before anyone comes in here and yells at me for being mean, I’ll just say now that I know it is mean. That was at my old job, and I politely deal with them now. :eek:
And it would appear this guy was really on the fast track until that one unfortunate slip of the tongue.
vebr: “What a maroon”.
Heh, mkay, I’m smiling.
Proof positive that women and seamen don’t mix.
At Scyllacorp we don’t actually contract to eat Seamen.
I mean, we’ll put 'em in our mouths, and maybe even bite a little, you know for fun.
We won’t swallow though. Seamen are two salty.
If that’s what you’re looking for I’d recommend you contact another firm.
Esprix services claims special expertise in this area.
We all know what you think.
He thinks?
You people are being mean to fruitbat! He’s new here! So he didn’t know about the quote feature; it’s happened to a lot of newbies. And he did too have a point, so there!
:::Rilchiam bustles after fruitbat with Hostess cupcake and glass of milk:::
Oh BTW, on those calls for toner, office supplies, what-have-you. If they do send some of their unsolicited crap, you are welcome to:
I used to be in the purchasing department for a large bank. Got “toner phoner” calls at least once per week. They ask what model of copier I am using and I would make one up. In my best Bubba drawl…" We Got us a Toshiba BD 99-37". That would really make them scurry around trying to find it in their books. Or they would get their boss on the line to quiz me on the model. I would keep insisting that I am looking right at the copier and it sez right on it BD 99-37. After a few minutes of this I would start laughing and tell them I’s just joshin ya.
Takes a lot of time but every once in a while it helps relieve the stress of a tough day at the office.
Sometimes I like to sing the Arlo Guthrie song “I don’t want a pickle!” to telemarketers.
Or I just sing a bar of Alice’s Restaurant, then hang up! It’s the Alice’s Restaurant Anti-Telemarketer Movement, and all ya gotta do to join is to sing it the next time a telemarketer calls!
You people are sick. I love this.
::furiously scribbling down ideas for work tomorrow::
“Toshiba BD 99-37” - that’s too precious. It’s now at the top of my list.
The thing that annoys me is that telemarketers frequently ask for my father, who has been deceased for nearly four years. Don’t they ever update their lists? They do after they’ve talked to me.