A little quick algebra before I begin…
A + B + C + D = X, where A=Cube Farm; B=150 People; C= Lots of sneezing and coughing; D=Winston’s pre-disposition towards hypochondria; and X= The Office suddenly becoming a Living Hell.
It’s early this year, but it’s started nonetheless. The sneezing, coughing horror that is cold and flu season. And so begins my yearly descent into what I like to think of as full-blown germ-freakout. Shake hands? With you? After you just sneezed all over that filthy, germ-addled paw of yours?!? I should think not. A cookie on a platter in the kitchen? Not a chance. A conference in a closed, 14X14 room with poor ventilation? You’ve got to be kidding. I’ll teleconference.
This is awful. Just awful. Maybe they’ve all just got allergies. I think I’ll play it safe, though, and call in sick 'till spring.