So. Two weeks ago or so I had what I’d classify as a mild cold. I had a runny nose and was sneezing all over the place, but it didn’t even last out the week before it disappeared.
Or so I thought.
Yesterday it started coming back, bringing with it a battalion of reenforcements. I have to admit, at least it was a considerate cold, having the courtest to go away just in time for my week of vacation plus my birtday on Tuesday before coming back in force on Wednesday. Now I’m sitting here with a stuffy, runny nose and it’s driving me stark raving shoehorn.
I’m doped up on extra strength Robitussen. (*cough cough “Robitussen!” “Fuck you.”)
Fortunately I have no cough to speak of, nor a sore throat. It seems to have moved in and made itself at home exclusively in my sinuses.
Oddly, I’ve now had two people ask me if I thought maybe if it wasn’t allergies. I dismissed the first person, but after the second such question I had to think. Is it? I’ve never had allergies. Ragweed? Pollen? Pet dander? I could snort 'em through a Franklin with nary an ill effect – except possibly odd stares from anyone who saw me do it, and maybe visions of giant, fanged funky winkerbeans crawling on the walls.
Never having experienced what allergies are like, I have no frame of reference with which to draw a comparison to a cold, so it appears I have to ask: What are allergies like? Do they bring about snotty, sneezy, stuffy cold-like symptoms that make you feel like your eye sockets are bulging with nasty viscous fluids that could be confused with a cold? Should I be popping Allegra or Claritin instead of chugging Nyquil? And if it is allergies, how the heck do I find out what’s triggering them so I can launch them into the next country with the nearest trebuchet?
(Yes, I realize, you are not my doctor, I am not asking for medical advice, I will seek out professional advice if the need arises, measured by weight, not volume, some settling of contents may occur, this end up, rest stop next exit, closed for repairs, please insert next disk, hot coffee coming through, moose xing next 30km, watch for falling rocks, new and improved taste, operators are standing by)