Coldfire tempts fate, or I can't believe that cop was so stupid!

Gather around kids, Uncle Coldfire is gonna tell you all a nice story to snicker about. It is about the ignorance of people in general, and the Dutch Police force in general.

This evening, I attended a birthday party of a friend of mine. As a present, I bought him a nice box of cigars. I purchased the cigars at a shopping mall not far from my workplace. Having placed the box in my backpack, I walk out of the mall towards my bicycle. I am a banker, and wear a conservative suit and rain coat to work. Suffice it to say I don’t look like your average parking lot bum.

As I am unlocking my chain lock to release my bike from the pole I secured it to, I hear a voice. The voice says, with a thick Amsterdam accent: “Hey, where the hell do you think you’re going with that bike? Stop that!”

Bear in mind: I am unlocking my bike with a key. Not a chainsaw or a stick of dynamite. I see a police officer dashing towards me, and I also see a lot of people stopping in their paths to see what all the noise is about. As you do.

Panting, the police officer stops next to me and says: “Alright! That’s it buddy! Knock that shit off right now!”

With an irritated hint of a smirk, I dangle the bike’s keys in front of him and say: “I am the owner of this bike which has a current value of some one hundred Guilders. I hereby show you the keys with which I just opened this very lock. Furthermore, I would like to point out that I have serious doubts about my appearance matching the profile of the average bike thief. But on the other hand, I would like to stress that it is good to see a Law Enforcement Officer who is always on the lookout to strike crime when it happens. A great and satisfying way to see my tax Guilders at work.”

About two seconds of silence. People around me start snickering. Li’l copper is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, however. “Are you making fun of me, Sir?”, he inquires.

Replies I, “Oh no, officer. I wouldn’t dare. I heatily applaud you on a job well done, and a crime prevented!”

“Ah. I see. Well, that’s alright then. Have a good day.”, says the officer.

As he walks away, people start laughing out loud. I exchange a few smiles and ride my bike home.

Poetic Justice? I dunno. But the Ninety Guilder parking fine that somehow ended up in my mailbox just after I mocked a police officer was NOT appreciated by yours truely. Moreover because I already payed the towing fee of Three Hundred And Sixty Guilders three months ago. I had to, they wouldn’t give me back my car otherwise. And NOW, on TOP of that, a fine for the very same offense.

OK, so it WAS parked on a corner. Of a four way crossing. With two wheels on the curb. For one night. But SHEESH! Can’t these leaches give a decent taxpayer a break? HUH??

Bastards :wink:



I had a bike once, but then someone decided to unlock my lock with a crowbar. Where were the damn LA cops? At least your cops pretend to work.

How much is all that in American dollars?

$2.00, give or take. The US is the only country with a currency that’s worth anything. :wink:

Of course, when I leave my bike out in broad daylight in a crowded area, some fucker steals my front wheel. Then again, the less I use my bike in downtown Boston, the longer I’ll live, most likely.


Never make fun of an enforcement officer to his face.
So were you parked outside an … er… establishment of ill-repute?

Heheh, now I have to go visit Europe sometime.

Actually, the US dollar has been falling in its value lately. Also, the British pound is worth more than the US dollar ($5 US per pound, I think).

pulling my hair and screaming at the top of my lungs WHY IS MY COMPUTER LAGGING SO BADLY???

Sorry, had to get that out of my system…

Coldfire, you slay me! LMAO It makes you wonder just what kind of testing these cops have to go through before they actually become cops.

For exchange rates check

Lies, all lies! It’s the EU putting out false information. You’d be a fool to give up a good ol’ US dollar for anything less then 12 British pounds. Never believe Europeans, they’re all disgusting liars. And don’t even get me started on the metric system, which they have been trying to foist on us for years.

Sorry for insulting your whole continent like that, Coldfire, but you know it’s true. Of course, you’d never admit that, being a European, and thus a liar.

(Oh, God, this is scary, I’ve seen logic like this used seriously on the SDMB)

I believe the current exchange rate is 1 us dollar to every 1.5 british pounds – the pound has had a higher value than the dollar for quite a while now…

I was just gonna say that. The British pound has been valued a just over a dollar for several years now.

Our dollar isn’t failing Monster, you boob :slight_smile:


uh, um.

If you need 1.5 pounds to get 1 dollar, doesn’t that mean that the dollar is worth more?

This is really weird. I know that I am going to look stupid, but here’s how I see it:


And so on. So if 1 US Dollar is Equal to 1.5 Pounds, I could exchange only 6 dollars and get 9 whole pounds.

Since I started with six and now have nine, but essentially have the same value of money, doesn’t that mean that the dollar is worth more?

Or is this just kinoons at work, typing shit backwards and confusing the hell out of me?
Damnit kinoons, you’re such a smart guy that I forget you are keyboard impaired and you get me all messed up!

Did you mean that 1 pound equals 1.5 dollars?

Or am I a just stupid at the moment? (Quite possible, I feel really weird right now.)

You mean you could exchange 9 dollars for 6 pounds. Silly Lexi, must be that funky weed going round. :wink:

1 pound = approx 1.5 dollars. 'Nuff said.

In the Netherlands there are “establishments of ill-repute” on every streetcorner. Um, at least in my fantasies. {I am so going there one day.}


Just confirming: the current exchange rate is around £1 to $1.55. I don’t remember the last time they we dollar was stronger (or if it’s ever been); maybe around the late '70s? It usually stays pretty stable at arounf $1.50/$1.60 to £1.

Yeah, but a Quarter Pounder with cheese is still a Royale mit kase.

That’s French and German put together, ReefSnot.

And this is the most stupid and boring hijack I’ve ever seen :smiley: