What is with the enormous peer pressure to drink, once one hits about, oh, age 16 or so?
I noticed it a bit in highschool, and now even moreso here at college. It’s even more out of place here, because we’re supposed to be a dry campus (Indiana University).
I honestly have no desire to drink, until I reach the legal drinking age, at which time I will try it to see if I like it.
Here at college, it is assumed that you drink. Everyone just assumes that everyone else drinks, and it is considered odd if you don’t.
Why do you think this is? Do you think there’s anything wrong with this picture?
[sub]NOTE: please don’t turn this into a debate about the legal drinking age…[/sub]
Damn! If you hadn’t posted the note, I’d have started out with a comment about the legal drinking age, he he.
Anyway, I am 26 and to this day when I am out at the pubs, people try to talk me into getting another beer or drinking faster. I don’t know why that peer pressure exists and what’s to gain from it, but I usually stick to my own tempo and wind up drinking less than “the average” guy.
I am comfortable with how much or little I drink (usually around 1 - 1.5 liters per friday or saturday. Usually I stay at the pubs till 3 - 5 am.) and you’re really on the right track for not giving into peer pressure (though I’d seriously recommend taking a vacation somewhere where the legal drinking age is 16 or 18 or something. It’s better to find out early if you like it and how much you can handle, before getting into an awkward situation. The latter usually happens when “first time drinkers” try to keep up and end up drinking way more than they should).
Oh and be sure to drink at least a liter of water afterwards. Eating something doesn’t hurt either, if you don’t want to wake up with a mean hangover.
Oh, I’ve still got a couple years yet. And my plan isn’t to go get smashed at a bar. Rather, I plan to have a birthday dinner (by myself, or with a significant other, should I manage to attract one by that time) at a nice Italian restaurant, and have a nice pasta dinner with some good wine. That weekend I’ll perhaps try a bar or something, but as for my “first time” so to speak, I think I’d prefer something like that…
Well Garfield226 - I commend your decision not to join the ranks of the debaucherous youth getting wasted in college dorms etc…etc… I am an instructor at a college and have seen many a student fall into the doldrums of academic probation due in no small part to their inability to handle the party scene.
However, when I was in college I did drink - not like those frat guys trying to get as plastered as they can - but like a normal student. It involved experimentation. I liked getting drunk with friends, it released tension, made things look a little fuzzier for a while, and on occasion made me feel like I was spinning out of control. The latter is not the intended, or wanted effect.
Most college teens, and young adults try booze only to experiment, then they find they like it, and stick with it, or swear it off. Everyone, gets so drunk that they wake up in the morning feeling like a freight train ran them over, they swear up and down they will never drink again etc…etc… They always do it again.
As a teacher I recommend getting plastered at a party, to either make you aware of the effects, and or to make you see if you want to do it again. Just don’t come to my class drunk. I’ll ask you to leave. BTW, most of my classes are in finals now, so I am a little more giving…
Just stick by your morals, and remember. Experimentation is not a crime, and excess in the alcohol realm can hurt you.
**Disclaimer - I do not advocate underage drinking, that said, admit those who try it must remember to be careful. and one should never, ever drive whilst drunk.
I’m 19, at university in England, so I’m above the legal drinking age.
I drink about the equivalent of a pint a year.
People, to date, have called me ‘weird’, ‘strange’, ‘sad’ and ‘boring’ for not getting royally wankered 3 or 4 nights a week; and these are my friends!
I have tried heavy drinking in the past, decided it wasn’t for me.
Eons ago when I was in high school, and even younger, I was allowed to have a little wine at home on special occasions. Granted the wine was syrupy-sweet and unfit for normal consumption, but that wasn’t the point. I also got an occasion very-watered-down whiskey sour. As a result, alcohol held no great mystique in my life, and I had no desire to drink or get drunk. I was of legal age when I finally went back to college, and I still wasn’t interested in drinking.
I’ve allowed my daughter to try a few alcoholic drinks, and she hasn’t liked them. Having lived in a household where there’s been very little drinking and having witnessed people who were drunk to the point of being obnoxious, I think she’s made up her mind that she probably won’t drink much, if at all. I’ve not pressured her either way, but I’ve done my best to educate her. And I can honestly say that I’ll be surprised if she takes up drinking.
I drank a lot in College (first time round) - I started college when I was just turned 16 and finished at 18 … and I have to say, pretty much every night of the week, I drank and to excess a lot of the time. I didn’t have a problem with it, we were just surrounded by it. The Students Union would organise parties and events and oftentimes they were supported by booze companies - so you got freebies and things too.
I pretty much went out and had a good time and drank very reguarly til I was about 24/25… then stopped drinking. Again, not cos I had a problem but because I just didn’t want to anymore. I just didn’t feel it - now I drink maybe once every few months but could go a year or more without alcohol. It really does nothing for me.
The problem is that, in Ireland, a lot of the social life revolves around the pub - so you drink. If you don’t drink, its really not that much fun sitting having a diet coke and watching other people getting ratarsed.
I say do what you wanna do and don’t let crap like peer pressure force you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Easier said than done I know but respect your own beliefs too.
If afterschool specials have taught me anything, you will try that glass of wine, loose control and drink the entire thing, and then act “inappropriately” with your date resulting in her pregnancy and thus ruining both your lives.
In all seriousness, I respect that you choose not to drink but it can be pretty tough while you are in college. I had a friend in my fraternity who didn’t drink at all until his senior year for religeous reasons. No one pressured him but it’s tough when all your friends are playing Beruit (AKA Beer Pong), Speed Beruit, Full Contact Beruit, 100 cup Beruit, 1000 cup Beruit, Best of Seven Games World Series Beruit and Tournament Beruit and you can’t really join in. And don’t even get me started about Asshole.
Anyhow…the point is that drinking is not a “BIG DEAL”. You can go to a party and not get smashed. 90% of the time when I go out (college and HS included) I just have a few beers. You shouldn’t feel that drinking is an all or nothing thing.
Umm…actually, experimentation (when you’re underage) is a crime. . .right?
Anyhow, I didn’t mean for this to be "support garf in his decision not to drink, but thanks.
I was just wondering why you feel there’s so much peer pressure, why it’s so acceptable to basically break the law.
It seems like even those of you out of college just accept that college kids drink. They just do. Why? Why is that any more acceptable than a fourteen or fifteen year old driving around in a car? Is it because most people do feel like the drinking age is stupid?
Ok Garf - why the peer pressure…Well that changes over time. I am 33 and still get it from my friends when we go out. Granted I feel much better about saying no now than I did then, maybe because I am comfortable being a rational adult. When I don’t want to be rational, I say yes to that 3rd Gin n’tonic.
Sometimes peer pressure comes from the person not wanting to drink alone, or to be the only one drunk, or because they simple do not respect another persons wants and feelings.
Why is it acceptable to break the law, i.e underage drink? Well because it is a law to protect people from hurting themselves right? It’s not of course in the same realm as murder or burglary.
It’s a misdemeaner for a 20 year old to get caught with alcohol, not that big of a deal to be in possession of. But get caught behind the wheel and thats a different story.
Don’t take this the wrong way and I mean it as no insult what-so-ever but I sense a bit of naiveness on your part about college drinking. Why is it all that weird that some kids choose to drink? They have no parents to go home to in most cases, no curfew, and plenty of access? Some kids just want to party.
Well, going to college is a major step towards independence. And alcohol has always been an ‘adult’ beverage. Adulthood = Independence, ideally. That’s why, for many people, alcohol and college go together.
Besides, getting a buzz is a fun sensation, however un-PC that may be. It loosens inhibitions and can spice up an evening.
And because everybody knows that everybody does it, it’s become a fact of life. One just doesn’t see the point of raising one’s eyebrows anymore.
Of course, moderation is all-important. Peace, man.
As far as the peer pressure issue of the OP is concerned, I think that the situation is such that the “veteran” drinkers want their friends to “have a good time”. Now, this “having a good time” means that you lose control of things most likely, and that perhaps you’ll do things that you wouldn’t normally do or say (some ancient brotha said “In vino verite”, so perhaps getting someone drunk is the only way to know their true feelings??:dubious: ).
In any case, I didn’t start drinkin’ hard ‘n’ heavy until about april of my senior year in HS, so I was already signed ‘n’ sealed to college. Once there, I became what I lovingly refer to as a “social binge drinker”; if there was a good time goin’ down, I was probably there and probably drunk. Now that I’ve graduated, I’ve had to adjust the lifestlye a bit (Fridays and Saturdays, sometimes Thursdays), and I’ve also found that having a few at happy hour (only a few though) can be fun. A slight buzz means that you are just a little loose, and are not so out of it that your best attempt at a witty pickup to a chica is “Nice pants, dawg. Did you sit in bleach or something?”
All this being said, going back to college and playing beirut with my fellow alums brings back fantastic memories. At my college (a private D-III school in upstate NY) athletics weren’t really a big deal, it was more important which fraternity you were in from a social standpoint; hence, beirut was my “sport” during college, and we became quite skilled/obsessed, even starting a league and playoffs my senior year. Ah, good times.
One word of advice on your first time drinking: don’t do it by yourself (the dinner alone with wine scenario). Without outside stimulation, you probably won’t feel its effects until you overdo it.
The fun part about drinking is drinking socially. Getting drunk with a group is much more fun than just having one too many over dinner. Part of the reason I don’t drink as much after college is because my crowd just evaporated when I moved away; I didn’t much go for the “party scene”, but I had regular outings and card games every week where we’d all get drunk. A large part of it, though, was the people involved.
And if you’re with experienced drinkers, you’re better off. Even the ones who pressure you to have beer after beer are the same ones who know exactly what to do to pull you back from the edge and take care of you when it’s clear you’ve gone too far.
I’m with you, Garf. I didn’t drink 'til I was 21, and I have never been so intoxicated that I have either vomited or passed out. I know how much to have to enhance my good time and I know when I’ve had enough. I cannot stand pubs.
Now, why the peer pressure? Misery loves company. Most people drink for a reason, and they certainly don’t want to be drinking with someone who exudes the attitude of, “I’m healthy and happy. I like myself. I don’t need to be wasted to have a good time.”
I don’t know anything about this peer pressure to drink thing… ok, so I was a victim of this in high school, and perpetrated the crime on people in college. Why did I pressure non-drinkers to drink? Well, if I thought they were being obnoxious in proclaiming how they didn’t drink and didn’t need to, and that people who did drink were somehow inferior, then I would just get them really drunk so I could laugh at them, and so they’d have a bad hangover the next day. Just kidding, I’d never do that. No really, I wouldn’t.
But seriously, people drink in college because it’s fun and because they can. Some do it for worse reasons (misery, as noted above, stress, etc). Mostly, though, it’s just the social thing to do, so anyone who isn’t partaking is seen as “missing out.” Whether they are or not is entirely debatable, but the more people who are drinking, the more fun drinking is. It’s like dancing. If only a few people in a room are dancing, it isn’t much fun, but if everyone is, it’s a whole different kind of party. Same thing with drinking, in a way. You don’t want to get drunk only to find out no one else feels like drinking. If they don’t want to drink, it becomes your, the drunk’s, sole mission to get them drunk too. While I wouldn’t put it as “misery loves company,” since not everyone drinks because they are miserable, I will say that drunk college kids usually like company
I agree with flybynight. Most people I know who did not drink in college (with a few medical exceptions) were incredibly obnoxious and superior about it. Drinking in moderation is quite pleasant, and drinking in more than moderation can be fun, too, occasionally, although it’s easy to overdo it. If you seriously wait to have a glass of wine on your 21-st birthday you are going to be the most disappointed fella on the block. It simply isn’t that big a deal.
It’s all that wierd because it’s just accepted as the norm. You’re BREAKING A LAW. And on my campus, you’re going against the rule, and could be disciplined or expelled.
It’s illegal and it’s just accepted. By everyone. Teachers, students, families, everyone. What’s the point of the law, if everyone breaks it anyway, and it’s completely acceptable and even encouraged to do so?
No one addressed my example of a kid driving a car, why not? I do believe some people are ready to handle alcohol at age 18 or 19, I think I could. But, then, I believe some people are ready to drive at age 14 or 15 too.
I’m not obnoxious about not drinking to people who drink. I don’t go around saying, “You DRINK?!?!?!?” looking aghast at them and quietly damning them to hell or anything. I just honestly don’t understand WHY it has become so accepted and encouraged.
I don’t party much, I’ve been to exactly two parties where alcohol was served. The hosts asked if I wanted anything to drink, and I declined, or took some soda or something non-alcoholic, and that was it. I’ve only had conversations about it with people not involved in the parties, and even then it was only along the lines of, “That’s still just strange to me…I’m not used to being around alcohol or people drinking it yet.” Nothing BAD, you see, just DIFFERENT.
I don’t think I’m better than people who choose to drink right now, and as I’ve said, I have no problem with alcohol itself. I’ve just decided I don’t want to break the law, and I don’t understand why I’m pressured otherwise, and why it’s acceptable to pressure me to do otherwise.
And Cliffy and Daniel, and anyone else who may have addressed this, I’m not going to be drinking wine when I turn 21 (alone or not) to “get a buzz” or to “feel the effects.” I’m going to be drinking it to see if it’s a beverage I enjoy.
I don’t drink iced tea to get a caffiene high or a sugar rush, I drink it because I’m thirsty and I enjoy the taste. If I start drinking wine or beer or any other kind of alcoholic drink, it will be for the same reason. It’ll just be another choice of beverage.
I guess I was pretty lucky to have had friends who respected my non-drinking in high school and college. I never saw the point to “getting drunk.” I knew exactly what a hangover felt like when I was eleven. Not because I found where my parents hid the bourbon (blech), but because I was getting IV meds that had the most awful hangover side effects that lasted two days. I decided early that drankin’ to excess was never going to be for me. Now that I’m the ripe old age of Over The Legal Age, I limit myself to one (1) of whatever alcoholic beverage is on hand. And never on a day when I have to drive because I have a floor-level tolerance. One beer makes me sleepy.
The best way to prevent people from looking at you in horror when you say you don’t (or won’t) drink is to tell them you have a disease that prevents you from doing so. This only works if you actually do have one of those, as I did. The only drawback is that you have to watch out for people who’ll try to spike your drink or something equally stupid to find out if you’re telling the truth. Avoid them.