In your estimation, how does one tell if a guy is a rapist or comes off as one?
Oh indeed.
Read the previous thread Inner Stickler kindly linked to above. There you’ll find that he was told to knock it off and continued anyway. If you think the word stacked got him kicked out of college I believe you haven’t read much more than people’s reactions here and invented your own scenario.
Uninvited sexual comments indicate, to me, that someone is unfamiliar with or cares nothing about social boundaries. Most people seem to get around in the world without communicating sexual thoughts at people they’re attracted to. They use their abilities to restrain themselves to keep it in their own head. We’re not talking about a student just saying “Hey, I find you attractive.”
Someone who pushes the boundaries of what is socially appropriate demonstrates an inability to control their impulses. What other impulses are they unable to control? In this situation he was told to stop and he continued anyway. What else will he do despite being told no? He decided for both of them that her no means nothing to him.
Again, you seem to be indicating that women should have some idea if men will or won’t rape them. In your world do rapists wear signs that say “Hey, I’m a rapist and anything I say should be filtered through the understanding that I dig raping chicks?” or do you not get that a few indicators that someone could be willing to rape might be not taking no for an answer (as he did in this sexualized communication) and being so socially stunted or socially indignant that you vomit out your sexual fantasies to someone ABOUT THEM who, by their very job, has to read and respond to them?
Number 1. She was his TEACHER. That is not an appropriate medium to be saying how hot she is, and the fact that some men think it’s ok is just a sign, as SWB says, that they don’t know any personal boundaries. And you know, if he’d gone to her privately and asked her on a date I wouldn’t have a problem. WHAT’S WRONG WITH A DATE?
Number 2. If he had complimented her professional role, I would not have any problem. If he had written a smarmy, smaltzy story about what a great teacher she was, that’s different. Honestly, we can’t even teach without men thinking about our vaginas. Well, I’m pretty sure that avenue closed up right quick!
Number 3. She dealt just fine with the real world. She didn’t curl up under her bed and sob nor did she ask her brother to beat the crap out of this guy. She went through the right steps to get it taken care of.
This question has been debated many times on the boards and elsewhere and I’m flattered that you think somehow I can come up with the answer. But since you asked:
I guess, watch what you do with your penis. Don’t let it go places it shouldn’t go - using every meaning of the word “shouldn’t”. And don’t let it control your other head.
I think what Bricker and others are getting at is that some women are so repulsed by the tendencies of normal males to be attracted to females that they automatically tend to want to block any expression of masculine interest in women. Aanimika’s response, for example, is couched entirely in “no, don’t, shouldn’t” – the only positive advice she could give is to write a smarmy, schmaltzy (i.e., nonsexual) story about what a great teacher she was. Where do you draw the line, is the question? **Aanimika’s **response seems to leave no grounds for male sexual expression at all. epbrown01 and SleepsWithButterflies seem to be in similar territory.
I never said males should not express attraction to females nor did I say there were never any sexual stories in my creative writing class. At least one of them wrote about a sexual encounter…but it was someone outside the class, someone long ago.
It is skeevy and inappropriate to write about people in that class, and to write about your professor. How is it not?
If I am a professor in a college, I would like you to respect me for my career not my tits or the fact that I am hot. Once again, you are merely reducing me to a vagina-carrier.
And in fact, the alternative I gave was for Mr. Skeezeball to go privately to the teacher and ask her out on a date.
Regardless, I see no problem with the university acting in the way they did. They suspended him and told him to go to sensitivity training. He can get over his bad self and keep his thoughts to himself or for private times with his professor - which, like I said, he will never get with now, I’m sure.
The last line of the article says: “Corlett’s suspension requires him to undergo sensitivity counseling if he ever wants to return as a student.”
So he has a simple means to get out of the suspension, if he wants to take it. Sounds like he would rather take it to court and then moan when he loses.
You can google her if you want to see a picture. She isn’t that hot. You should have seen my 9th grade English teacher. I could have written volumes of sonnets about her beauty but, even then, I knew better.
I personally don’t think the student’s motivation was to convey to the teacher that he found her sexually attractive. His intent was to cause a reaction, to shock, to kick the beehive, to intimidate, to challenge authority. And she gave him exactly what he wanted. A big story with lots of attention.
She could have shut him down much more effectively by playing him at his own mental game. The cry of outrage was his goal. That shit makes some people’s dicks hard.
[hijack]
I had a big fat crush on my sixth grade English teacher. Or was it seventh? Anyway it was the first time I had a) a crush on a man (and not a boy) and b) the first time I appreciated a man’s ass.
Sometimes I think that first man set the standard for all my men. I’ve always liked men like him best.
If you are addressing me, read my earlier post. I do NOT agree that sexual stories do not belong in a creative class – hell, erotic romances are the hottest genre going right now, sexual stories should be the CORE of creative writing classes, if the marketplace is at all relevant – but I DO agree that stories about particular people in the class, including the teacher, were inappropriate sans some indication that they would be OK.
Quite the sweeping generalization.
You probably meant “venues” and we may have some agreement there.
That’s an argument for a poor grade, not suspension.
Then you are wrong. I’m not even comfortable with Anaamika’s suggestion of acceptability. A creative writing class is for learning the basics and a large part of it is peer review. It is not cool to require students to discuss content they may not be comfortable with and erotic content requires a more deft hand so as not to become puerile or juvenile. Erotic content, if it’s handled in school at all, should be part of a higher level class with students who have demonstrated capability with the basics.
The creative writing course I took in Fall of 2012 consisted of lessons such as:
Good dialogue
Setting the tone and the environment
Building a picture in the reader’s mind
Bringing your reader into the story
Poetry
Plot and setting
I’m not really sure why erotic fiction would be considered great at doing any of this. We did read one mildly erotic poem in the class, and this frumpy old male professor read it, and we all giggled a little, but other than that we handled it maturely. And one person, as I said, did write a little about a sexual encounter…but the story itself was about a breakup. The sex was not the primary focus of the story.
I enjoyed the class greatly but I wouldn’t have taken it if I’d thought we were going to be writing about our sexual fantasies.