When I was in grad school, most of my circle of friends were international students. It took me a long time to learn how to arrive at parties at the right time. If they told me a party started at 6, I’d arrive at 6, plus or minus maybe five minutes.
Eventually I learned: If they say 6, then do whatever it is you’re doing before-hand. If, at any time, you happen to glance at a clock and notice that it was after 6, then start looking for a good stopping point in what you’re doing. Get to that stopping point, and then get ready to go, and head over.
That said, that’s for that specific circle of friends. Most Americans I know are more precise about their punctuality than that, and so I try to show up at the specified time. For a range of time like “between 9 and 10”, though, I’ll try to be somewhere in that window, but when in that window will depend on what else I was doing, and what stopping point I got to.
If it’s a party, the better I know the host, the earlier I will come. That way the host and I can have a nice chat while we’re waiting for the party to start. But if I’m early with someone I don’t know well, that could get awkward.
If it’s just stop by for a visit, the more I want to go, the earlier I’ll arrive. No earlier than 9:05, no later than 9:55.
If it’s just a fly-by to pick something up, then I’ll just go whenever it’s most convenient for me.
With a couple of exceptions, I’ll get there at whatever point in the window works for me. If the doctor’s office/my sister says I can pick up/drop off something up between 3-4 pm, I wouldn’t leave work early or cut something else short to get there at 3 but I would leave early enough to get there by 4 which would probably get me there between 3:30 and 3:45. Nobody I know would give an hour range for leaving on an actual trip - maybe for a trip to the mall in which case I would plan to get there at the earlier time but wouldn’t drop what I’m doing to get there at 9 rather than 10. Same with meals - nobody I know is going to give me a one hour range for an ordinary dinner. For a holiday, I might be told something like " Come at 2, dinner will be ready at 3" - but that doesn’t mean they want to me show up as late as 3.
The exceptions for the most part are my sister-in-law and her daughter. For those two, the very earliest I will arrive is the end of the window for almost anything - and possibly later. I know from experience if they invite me to come over for a BBQ between 1-2 pm, they will be arriving back from the supermarket at about 2. Tell me to drop off/pick up something between 1-2 - at 12:45 they will decide to run some errand and not return until at least 2:30.
If it’s for a party, and the host is a good friend and I’m in good mood, I might come at 9, figuring I’ll get some conversation time with the host and a few other early birds. If I don’t know the host that well, I’d probably prefer to arrive when the party is in full swing. It can be uncomfortable to be the first guest if you don’t know the host well — unless the host is someone I want to get to know better - then it’s an opportunity. Like I said, it depends on the situation and mood.
If it’s not for a party or event and I’m just stopping by, I’ll come whenever in the time frame is most convenient. I’m not going to sit at home twiddling my thumbs just so I arrive at 9:30 instead of 9, and I’m not going to rush the other things I’m doing just so I can arrive at 9:30 instead of 10.
I’ve gotten bitten by this a couple of times. More like 2-3 hours in my experience.
It’s super frustrating. I get that some people like to be loosey goosey, and I’m not exactly Mr. Punctuality… but to say the thing starts at 1:00 when you know for a certain fact you don’t want to see anyone until 3 (or later)? What on earth is the point of that?
Yeah, that’s the “mentally healthy” way of looking at it.
But I’ve got to say, I don’t know any Midwesterners that’d make you have to worry about what “9ish to 10ish” really means. My friends (and come to think of it, my parents’ generation*) always give firm times for any event.
*(Now, my parents would go to “cocktail parties” set at 9:00 pm, where people might come 9:15-ish, to give the hosts a buffer if they’re not ready yet, but 9 on the dot would be okay.)
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I mean, if you were loosey-goosey, and were inviting your friends to a restaurant, how would you make reservations?
"Hello, Horse and The Other Horses Authentic Cotswold Pub? We need a reservation, but see, we’ll have a dozen people… four are going to show up right about 9 pm, another half dozen dribbling in from 9:20 to 9:50, then that one couple that’ll show up at 10:05 because ‘you wouldn’t belieeeve the day we’ve had’… Can you set up some tables like that? Hello… hello? Honey, I think the hostess hung up on me two minutes ago…"
Realistically, I’m probably there at 9:50. I’m might have some ambition of being earlier if it’s visiting a friend. And if it’s a transaction and I’m anxious to start my day, i might get there at 9:05 to get it out of the day. But for most events, 9:50 is a good guess.
Although, the OP didn’t give a specific context but left it open-ended, so we might be talking about something other than an event. If you were picking up or dropping off something, it would make perfect sense to give a time range.
I immediately thought 9-10 pm for a party. 9-10 am for dropping off a litter of live piglets, doesn’t really matter.
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eta:
As an aside, We were doing a big performance in NYC Chinatown, and were using a lot of locals as talent. As we were telling them to show up the next night at eight, one grandmother yelled out “That’s eight o’clock WHITE PEOPLE TIME!”
What is that in Chinese time?
Re the OP, if nine pm, not going. I’m a morning person, like up at 5 am is sleeping in, and by 9 pm, I’m getting ready for bed. Which sometimes means, “waking up to pee and then going back to bed.”
If it is a time I can function at, given that window, my partner and I would get into a big debate over whether that meant we show up “between 9 and 9:10” (me) or “between 9:15 and 9:25,” (her)
Yikes! If I invite you to come over between 9 and 10, PLEASE don’t knock before 9. I may still be frantically sweeping dust under the rug, or finishing my dinner, or getting dressed.