Comic book moments which, sadly, you will never see... (possible spoilage)

because unfortunate circumstances intervened.
Dammit, I was looking forward to seeing the Green Arrow jump out of a cake, but, nooooooo. Sue Dibney had to go and be murdered by a party or parties who may or may not have been Dr. Light, thus causing the cancellation of Ralph’s surprise un-birthday party.

So, what other moments that would have been really cool to see didn’t happen because of the intervention of people suffering from ASSPD* ?

Anti-social Secondary Personality Disorder

I have to admit, I don’t get the point of the example in the thread, but the comic book moment I’d like to see is:
“You must have been having a dream, Peter.”

I’d love to see Blue Beetle come up with a solution for a problem that even a well-prepared Batman didn’t think of in time.

The deaths of Superman and Batman, two of the most overrated and overpowered superheroes ever. Omnipotent characters annoy the hell out of me.

Well, being that you’re a guy and there’s better than an 85% chance that you are heterosexual, I figure it’s a safe guess that you wouldn’t appreciate the desire to see a sleek, well-muscled, attractive man in tights (even if he is only a drawing) jump out of a cake. Either that, or you’re not reading Identity Crisis.

Basically, the late Sue Dibney plans a surprise birthdy party for her husband every year, and sends him off on a wild goose chase so she can prepare it. To make sure it’s actually a surprise, she never plans the party on Ralph’s actual birthday. Of course, since Ralph has considerable detective skills, he’s never surprised, but he always pretends to be to keep from hurting Sue’s feelings.

Anyhoo, this year, the Green Arrow was supposed to jump out of a cake (mmm, sleek attractive well muscled man in tights jumping out of a cake, and so what if he’s only a drawing) but before everyone could be gathered and Ollie actually put inside the cake, Sue got blowed up real good. So far, Dr. Light has been the prime suspect, but now it seems that he’s not the actual blower-upper.

So, now, I’ll never get to see the Green Arrow jump out of a cake.

Oh, and Big Bad Voodoo Lou, shame on you for even suggesting that anyone could possibly think of a solution that even a well prepared Batman couldn’t think of in time. I don’t even think it could happen in Elseworlds.

Bad Lou. No biscuit.

Besides, I seem to recall something in the OP about events that didn’t happen because of some ASSPD sufferer messing things up. As far as I know, the Blue Beetle does not suffer from ASSPD, although you could probably make a case that the Batman does.

They did kill Batman, without bringing him back, in the pre-crisis Earth-2 DC universe.

Batman doesn’t need to die but I’d love to see someone (anyone) get one over him. Even better if it’s some joe schmo and not a superpowered being.

Yeah, like, kill his parents or something.

[sub]I slay me[/sub]

Or his (adopted) son.

[sub]I slay me, too[/sub]

re: his parents, he was a kid and not Batman yet. And re Robin 2, I guess.

I was thinking more along the lines of someone successfully carrying off an in continuity surprise birthday party for him :).

I’ll bet Alfred could pull it off. He was in the British Secret Service, after all.

Have you noticed that no matter how savage the fight they’re in, the heroines’ thin Spandex costumes never get ripped in the wrong places? That, sadly, is something we will never see (until DC puts out a Adult line).

Oh, how I’ve longed to see the Thing’s thing. :smiley:

I wanted to see the “very special issue” where Batman executed Jason Todd. (“A man’s hubcaps…are his own personal property.” ::Chainsaw::slight_smile: :smiley:

Or, anything where the heroes actually get to do something lasting and constructive with their world, instead of everything getting pushed back to “status quo” in the end of the story arc, albeit with a few more people (usually not villains) filling graves.

The Jean Grey/Scott Summers reconciliation.

Green Lantern and Hawkgirl: The wedding episode.

All the great works of art and science that were destroyed by the animated Mr. Freeze, just because he was a frustrated prick and didn’t want anyone else to be happy.

Do Broadcast Standards and Practices guys count as super-villain ASSPD sufferers? If so, then I’ll say all the people that the animated Wolverine wasn’t allowed to savagely slice up, because American cartoons aren’t allowed to show anyone getting killed. (Poor cartoon Logan…he’s probably had to destroy more doors than Jim Morrison’s drug dealer.)

(“Bugger this. I want a better world.”)

Or break his back (Bane), frame him for murder (Can’t remember!), sneak into the Batcave (Tim, Steph, probably others), work out his secret identity (Tim, Hush, probably several others)…

He’s pretty unstoppable if he’s prepared to be sure, but jokes aside, it’s not really that hard to catch him unprepared.

Then there’s President Luthor declaring him an outlaw - that’s just WAY outside his scope to prevent, but hey, it is getting one over on him.

There was a comic where The Punisher jumped out of a cake at a gangster’s wedding, and killed half the guests.

Add Ra’s al-Ghul to that list. Also, near as I can figure from Hush Vol. I and when the hell does Vol II come out, dammit, Hush cut the bat rope while Batman was doing an aerial chase of the Catwoman (she eventually caught him, but that was several pages later), sending him crashing to the pavement, which resulted in a fractured skull and a bone chip in his brain. And guess who did the surgery? Makes me want to start a thread about villians I wouldn’t mind having as health care providers. And, hell, in TDKR, the Mutant leader pounded the tar out of him, and he would have died if Robin hadn’t rescued him, the police wore him down in a fight to the point that they would have captured him if Robin hadn’t rescued him, the Joker shot, then stabbed him and he probably would have died if Robin hadn’t rescued him.

OK, I have to go scrub my brain, because I’m still having thoughts about licking icing of the Green Arrow.

Check out The Hiketaea and JLA: A League of One.

In A League of One:

Wonder Woman receives a prophecy that the Justice League will die fighting a dragon. She decides to save everyone else by incapacitating them and fighting the dragon by herself. She manages to dispose of everyone but Batman and Superman fairly easily, but Batman figures out what’s going on before she can get to him. When she confronts him, he’s prepared for the encounter, but he loses the ensuing fight quite badly and pretty much admits that he stands little chance in a physical confrontation. He had hoped to either talk her out of it, or antagonize her into making a mistake. Niether tactic is successful.

In The Hiketaea:

Wonder Woman has sworn to protect a criminal Batman wants to take in. How the final confrontation ends is right on the cover of the book–Wonder Woman kicks his ass, and the fight ends with her boot on his head, where he’s forced to admit defeat and let the criminal go.

When I recently read The Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe by Garth Ennis, I enjoyed a number of things which I never thought I would see.

[spoiler]Point-blank head shots for Spidey and Cap America, a nuke dropped on the X-Men, Wolverine electrocuted, Hulk tranqued and killed after turning back into Banner, the body of Mr. Fantastic found in a dumpster, etc.

Eventually the title is completely fulfilled in the pages.

Kinda felt bad for Spider-Man and Daredevil, though I was very satisfied to see the X-Men and the Fantastic Four meet their demise.[/spoiler]

Now if they would only turn Frank Castle on Catwoman…

Somebody asked She-Hulk that very question in one of her early issues, after her mostly-covering purple costume had gotten ripped down to a mostly-bikini. She turned part of it inside out, showing the maker’s label with that code-emblem on the cover of the comic book, “Protected by the Comic Code”.

Something I’d expect never to see: She-Hulk and Nova, nude jello wrestling.