Tank Abbott is the MAN!! I remember his very first UFC fight when he almost knocked John Matua, this 400 pound fat fuck who was a practicioner of the “Hawaiian Art of Bonmebreaking” into a near coma in 15 seconds. He gets out of the octagon and the commentator asks him how does he feel? Tank replies that beating the other guy unconcious was “Better than sex.”
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*Originally posted by pepperlandgirl *
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That line made me laugh for some reason. 
Murray Walker, the English F1 commentator always came up with amusing slips like ‘Im stopping my startwatch!’.
The funniest one I ever heard of was made by a cricket commentator:
‘The batsman’s Holding, the fielder’s Willy.’
Oh, another thing that gets me is the British and Irish commentators for the Champions League games who insist on pronouncing Valencia as “Valenthia” (because the Castilian “c” is pronounced “th”).
This is irritating for two reasons:
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They don’t bother pronouncing any other names the way the teams themselves would pronounce them. They always say “Mestalla” (Valencia’s ground) and “Cañizares” (Valencia’s keeper) as an English speaker would. They never say “Madree” instead of “Madrid”, or “Bayern Munchen” instead of “Munich”.
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It isn’t correct anyway, since the Spanish “v” is pronounced “b” !
I have an enormous soft spot for Valencia (dating back from before they were ever in the Champions League), but I’m half relieved they didn’t make it this year so I don’t have to suffer through this again.
I think I heard Chick Hearn once say “The Lakers have won their last five games in a row.” (Um, Chick, how else would they have won their last five games?)
One that always gets to me is the reporting of some natural disaster, like an earthquake or major flood. A newscaster will say, “The death toll stands at 410, and it’s only expected to go up.” (It’s certainly not going to go down, numbskull.)
Hey! Yeah! And what’s with the British announcers who cover Rally Car races? It’s not “LAN-see-UH”, it’s “LAHN-cha” (Lancia)
Kid
Oh–THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU ALL!!! It is absolutely wonderful to find out that I and my family are not the only ones on this planet who loathe John Madden. Every other commentary I’ve seen does everything but sacrifice an animal to that dork. And I have to add that I can’t stand Pat Summerall either. I would very much like to cram that damn computer pen up John’s rear because he WON’T LEAVE IT ALONE!!! EVERY play has to be analyzed with that stupid thing. I love football, but I wish those two guys would retire–and take their idiot “language” of “booms” and “doinks” with them. And may we never see another ass-sweat contest again. I like a man’s rear as much as the next gal, but that is disgusting!
And while we are talking about dumb comments, may I please get away with a tiny hijack? I just HATE it when the official in the game calls a false start and says, “Prior to the snap.” What else would constitute a false start??? Thank you for your indulgence. 
Let’s not forget St. Louis’s Dizzy Dean, who notoriously mangled the English language. I can’t find too many quotes from his announcing days, but he’s said:
“He slud into third.”
“I can’t tell you why there’s a delay, but stick your head out of the window and you’ll know why.”
“The players returned to their respectable bases.”
And might I add another penalty on top of yours? Unless you’re speaking with a British accent, it’s not Jag-yew-ahr. It’s jag-whar. Two syllables. Two.
And for every NPR-type or leftie-radio type. It’s not even remotely cute for you to misprounounce the name of some countries with a bad, faked accent. You’re reading everything else with a midwestern “neutral” American accent, why in the world would you suddenly turn into Ricardo Monteblan to say “Nee-haa-raaaaa-wah” instead of using the standard American “Nick-a-rawg-wah”. Or pronouncing it Kee-bek (or the even more annoying “k’uh-bek” with a sort of hiccough sound where the k’uh part goes) instead of Kwa-bek? You don’t say Frawn-say for France. You don’t say Et-in-burrrrrrrrrrrrrr-ah. Hell, you call it Germ-an-ee instead of Doytch-land. Why use phoney accents for just some countries names? It’s annoying. Stop it.
And yes. John Madden is a loud-mouthed buffon who, if he was a third as talented as he was irritating, would be one of the most talented men alive.
Fenris
Fenris, I applaud you. I just HATE the way commentators feel the need to pronounce Latin countries names “properly.”
And that goes double for the aforementioned mispronunciations of “Jaguar.”
Anything Jesse Ventura says about anything.
Robin