Sports Announcers: WTF did you just say???

Okay, so I’ve been collecting these for just a little bit, but here goes:


Maybe not as crazy as Howard Cosell calling a receiver “a little monkey” (sorry, no link… Youtube search didn’t pan out).

Right off the bat, I’d like to mention Ryan Kesler of the Vancouver Canucks:

He has been quoted as telling the reporter that he asked a trainer to cut off his finger because it was too badly broken so that he could return to play. :eek:

I don’t remember which game it was, but during this year’s NCAA playoffs, I heard somebody say in reponse to how UNC was prone to turning over the basketball, that “nobody spurts like North Carolina”.

And then there was the time during an Oregon State Beavers playoff game where somebody or other was describing a great long handoff play back-and-forth.

The announcer said “Look at these Beavers. One’s pitching and one’s catching. Now, *That’s *exciting!”
These things don’t usually show up on Sports Soup or any ESPN post-game shows.

Does anybody else have a “Did you hear what they just said?” moment?

I really hate when a player heads to the bench and the announcer says he’s coming out for “a quick blow,” meaning a chance to catch his breath, but come on.

Today during the Cavs-Pistons game they were discussing the Cavs’ chemistry and Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy kept talking about how the players “enjoyed each other,” which started sounding real creepy after the 4th time they said it.

Here’s a list of homoerotic things Phil Simms has said on the air.

In a Red Sox game a long time ago, announcer Bob Montgomery said “…and Bob Stanley is throwing up in the bullpen.”

I always giggle at that too.

Back in the 90’s, one of the years that the Bulls won the title, I remember hearing Steve Kerr say “fuck” on live tv. I think it was something like, “this is so fucking exciting!” It was as the final game was wrapping up and the confetti was falling and stuff.

Randy Moller does the play by play for the Florida Panthers and quotes a movie, or song lyric each time they score. Youtube has a compliation of some of them.

Here’s a two-page thread from a while ago on the subject.

Flashes of Consistency was my fantasy football team name last year.

That was Clark Kellogg. He followed that up by declaring UNC to be “the epitome of spurtability.”

He’s a complete dumbass. Consider this bit of logic. Last year UNC was down by 28 to Kansas in the first half. This year they were up by 14 over MSU in the first half. He referred to that as a “42 point turnaround.”

Just last night in the Redwings game…something like"Zetterburg is trying to get off"

NBS Golf Announcer Mark Rolfing had this jewel with golfer Fred Funk.

I posed this in the “John Madden retires” thread and it fits here as well:

“And then kinda out, too, and then…that’s probably because it’s a…a cantilever. This is a cantilever field. And, yaknow, ‘cantilever’ I think means this stuff where we’ve got this overhang. See, I think…I think when you go up and come out like that, that means ‘cantilever’…or that’s what ‘cantliever’ means. And we got a cantilever stadium here and…and then we’re up above in the cantilever…the cantilever’s over our head and we’re up above lookin’ down.” - John Madden rambling during a game at the University of Washington.

Still remember when my Seahawks put 45 points on Minnesota…in the FIRST HALF in 2002. Shaun Alexander set an NFL record with 5 TDs in the first half. They get back from the halftime show and Mike Patrick says:

LOL. I think I watched that no less than 20 times. :smiley:

Last night Mark Crawford said that Randy Carlyle was “anal” about line matching.

I just heard this:

WAS vs. NYR hockey, game 3. NYR up 2-0 in the series, but WAS is up 2-0 in game 3. NYR now at home at Madison Square Garden.

Craig Lachlin I cannot stand this man’s voice and Joe Mannicotti (or whatever, he does the local suit commercials) are talking about the condition of the ice at MSG.

Joe makes some sort of comment about how the ice at MSG is never good, because they have so many different functions at this location and the ice doesn’t have time to set.

Craig chimes in: “Yeah, they laid down the ice, put out a lot of air fresheners in the place and it doesn’t smell too [sic] bad right now.”

Comedy beat from Joe… :confused: He says, “You mean because the circus was here last night.”

Craig replies “Yeah. That too…” And continues to describe the play.

So it would seem MSG is a stinky place.


Nope, no love lost in this series. GO CAPS!!!

Here’s another one:

Coach Bruce Boudreau is talking about the success of the Goalie Semien Vlamavlov (I know, but I can’t spell Russian) and how his experience in the Russian National playoffs, as well as other accomplishments.

He continues to give him accolades for a few more one seconds.

Then he steps on it by saying “and the fact that he doesn’t understand a word of what we’re saying is probably a good plus.”.


There’s FIVE FREAKING RUSSIANS on the team! Can’t somebody communicate with this man?!??!??

During a Red Sox-Yankees playoff game, Joe Morgan was attempting to explain, on ESPN radio, Pedro MArtinez’s comment that the Yankees “were our daddies,” or some such thing in relation to the Red Sox never having beaten them in the playoffs before (this was before teh 2004 comeback.) I cannot find a transcript of Morgan’s comments, and I am not sure that in fact they can be expressed in symbols understandable by human beings. But, here is my best try:

“What people don’t understand is that who’s your daddy is a hip hop phrase, and so what Pedro Martinez was trying to say, when he said that, was not that, he was trying to say it, that, you know, it’s a hip hop phrase, and so it doesn’t mean what people thinks it means, it means what Pedro meant, which was not that, but what he meant.”

I once heard a BBC commentator, during a footy match, refer to a keeper make a save “like a…like a…like an outgrowing root vegetable!” I don’t think his partner made another comment for the rest of the match, he was laughing so hard.

This is off-topic, but anyone remember Playmania, that goofy late-nite call-in game show that used to run overnight on Game Show Network? There were some copycats on other channels. Anyway, they were hosted by cute chicks whose main job was to fill airtime. I was watching once when Shandi, most famous for sitting there on Lingo and looking pretty, was the host. She launched into a story about an accident with someone falling over into a large shrub in her mother’s yard which broke off some of the central branches. Whereupon she said something like “so now there’s this big hole in the middle of my mother’s huge bush.”

As soon as she said it she realized her mistake, but the funniest part was watching her try not to burst out laughing (almost succeeded!) during the few seconds she was still on air before her producer could cut to commercial.

There’s lots of Playmania clips on YouTube, but sadly this isn’t one of them.


As you chaps know, cricket is played on this side of the pond.
One popular cricket commentator was Brian Johnston, a thoroughly pleasant chap.

Even if you don’t know the rules of cricket, the main idea is that a player batting has to defend a target known as the ‘wicket’.
So a top player (Botham) is batting and spins round trying to dodge the fast-moving cricket ball. However he clips his own wicket with his leg and is thus given out.
A fellow commentator remarks to Johnston that Botham didn’t ‘get his leg over’*, all would have been well.
And now listen to the clip

*does this have sexual connotations in the US, like it does here?

No it doesn’t, but it’s still funny.

Toy Story, the big Disney/Pixar film, apparently was so popular, they had an “on ice” variety, where they have the characters skating around in a rink and some kind of story and plot, and blah, blah, blah. Well, Toy Story on Ice started up in Detroit and the news was covering it. After the show, the commentators were all sitting around and the female one was holding the cowboy doll in her lap. The character’s name is “Woody”. She looked at everyone and excitedly asked if anyone got any memorabilia? “Did you get a Woody?” She asked one guy. He started giggling. She didn’t get it, so she turned and asked another guy if she got a Woody from the show. He, predictably, started giggling. By this time, she turned to ask another person and everyone else (except her) started laughing.

Years ago, when OJ Simpson was doing football commentary instead of hard time, I saw him say “To win this game, the Dolphins are going to have to outscore their opponents.”

Of course he was getting at the issue of the Dolphins’ terrible defense, but even so, it was a vapid thing to say.