That’s almost as good as people who say fish isn’t meat.
It’s one thing to see the ignorant yokels in video clips muttering and snarling about how they don’t want no Muzlim in the White House.
It’s another thing to hear it from your own ostensibly intelligent and educated grandfather.
The board of elections has placed a sign outside my branch to inform people who require assistance with early voting what number to call. The sign reads:
No word yet on what number to call if need grammar to learn.
I think you should be allowed a pass, being only a teen and the child of the mom to be, not the mother. My mom, on the other hand…
This has got to be my New Agey ex-girlfriend. My response to her “if you want it enough, you’ll get it” mantra was that if it was true, Superman would have come down and kicked my older brother’s ass when I was six years old, because no one could have wanted something as badly as I wanted that.
In my first semester of college, I was taking an “intro to computer science” class that was a notorious weed-out class. My mom called me and asked “how’s your computer science class going?” I said “ok”. She said “Have you fallen behind the rest of the class yet?”
That’s when I got some inkling that my mom might not be right in her estimation of my academic abilities. I suspect she thinks I’m not that smart because I can’t do math quickly in my head, like she can. I ended up with an A in the class.
Oh, no she di’n’t.
Former boss asked my opinion of “anything we should look for” in a new hire with whom I would be working. I was flattered, and gave him my honest recommendation of what qualities were desirable for that position.
He came back the next week and told me he’d interviewed and “did * want to know anything about the person?” He seemed like he was hiding a secret. I replied, “Frankly, if you’ve already chosen someone, I don’t need to know much in advance, since I’ll see him or her on Monday anyway.”
He told me a few things about the girl they’d hired. But he persisted in acting like he had something additional to reveal. Finally he leaned over me and whispered, conspiratorially, “She’s of the darker persuasion,” and wiggled his eyebrows.
I was thunderstruck – but not so thunderstruck that my mind didn’t instantly supply me with a retort:
“My God, Woody, are you saying she’s a VAMPIRE?”
He seemed put out by this response and backed away. The subject never came up again…I was too young and unsure of myself to have alerted HR, which I regret.
It is threads like this that remind me of how much I miss The Wildest Bill
I had a very similar experience with my mom when I told her over the phone that I had just had my masters thesis review. “So you failed, then?” was what she said. Thanks Mom!:mad:
PS. I did indeed pass, with flying colors.
My sister, at the time in her mid-teens and attending an excellent prep school, let slip that she thought the U.K. was physically connected to the rest of Europe.
A close childhood friend who knows how much I love history once said, “What does history matter, anyway? What matters is just what’s going on now.”
My sister was misinformed. My friend was just being an idiot.
Good lord, for the moment I’m actually glad my water is shut off to get the heater fixed. If not, I’d be drinking tea at the moment, and my monitor would be covered in it. Best laugh I’ve had in a long time!
Oh don’t get me started on those lazy-ass blind people! Walking around all not seeing just because they don’t want it enough!
lol. For what it’s worth, I significantly improved my vision by deciding I just didn’t want to wear glasses any more. 
It was a comment that my step dad repeated to me which had happened to him one day.
He’s a surf instructor here in Waikiki, most clients are Japanese. This day there was a Chinese couple. My step dad has been picking up on some basic Japanese words and phrases which he sometimes uses. While the Chinese couple was in the van (he was taking his clients back to their hotel) he had dropped off a Japanese group. When they got out of the van he said Sayonara, or something. The Chinese women got SUPER offended by this and told my step dad “In 2 years the only language you will be speaking is Chinese”… what the hell was she thinking… no more words were exchanged and her and her husband were taken to their hotel.
I hooked up with an interesting lady, ten years older than I, on craigslist recently. She said that she will be going to Northern California for most of November and December to avoid The Big One. Apparently, “the government” is going to cause an earthquake to occur down here soon after the election, for no apparent reason. She knows this because she got it in her email from a group that has, apparently, been accurately predicting disasters and major events for decades.
I had a roommate who believed that, since lesbians liked dildos which accurately represented the feeling of a penis, all lesbians were really into men. This despite being quite understanding and accepting of male homosexuals. Just plain ol’ chauvinism, I guess.
The same guy insists to this day that there is such a thing as an “acidic base”. In his mind, corrosive == acidic, so any corrosive base must also be an acid. No expert in chemistry can convince him otherwise.
I don’t get it. Vampires are really pale, right? What am I missing here?
their skin is pale, but their souls are so so dark…
My son told me last night that my grandma’s church has hatched a plan to get “In God We Trust” onto the dollar coins, by not accepting them until they have that phrase.
This is one of the few times I wish we had animated smilies. There’s a good “convulsing with laughter” one I would use here.