Don't assume I share your small minded predjudeces because we share a skin tone.

The BBQ Pit
1

This is something that has been bothering me or a long time. Here’s what prompted this. Tonight I went out and shot some pool for an hour or so at a local bar. As I came out of the bar, I notice a guy I’d seen around for a while walking up and down muttering “Don’t even have enough change to call a cab”. I offered him $.50, and wound up offereing him a ride home. I’d seen him before, he was a friend of a friend of a friend, I felt fairly safe doing so, and it was on my way home anyway. He accepted. As we got close to his house, I said,“Just tell me where it is.” He said, “It’s just a bit further, I don’t live here in niggertown.” ( We were passing a predominantly black apartment complex at the time.) He then elaborated " Those niggers, they’ll sell people crack and then call the cops and give them you’re lisence number. That ain’t right."

WTF??? Look, I’m white. That does not mean I share a contempt for people with darker skin tones and am just hiding it because that’s what society demands. I, personally, view skin tones as simply degrees of suntans. If you want to get into a discssion about culture, income and how that shapes society, fine. If you wanna sling racial epetaths, assuming that because I’m white and we’re alone I’ll agree with you, fuck off. I immediately began to pull over to let this guy out, but unfortunately, it was his stop anyway.

Here’s the capper. I happened to mention that I often dropped Doug ****** off at the same place, he’s a guy who happens to be black and likes to hang out at the same bar and lives there. This guy said “Oh, yea, Doug ******'s a good friend of mine”. He may or may not be, I dunno, but I wonder how long he’d stay a “friend” if he knew you casually condemened “niggers” when he wasn’t around.

So, white folks, tell me I’m not the only one this happens to. I know I’m not, but it pisses me the fuck off. What to do about it, Any ideas? A few days ago I had a friend start telling racist jokes, I calmly told him that I didn’t like such jokes, please stop ( and he was telling them as an example of “very offensive” jokes, so I let it slide) . He did. What if it isn’t a friend, however, what if it’s just an acquaintence?

WHY DO THESE ASSHOLES ASSUME I’M A RACIST AND AGREE WITH THEM JUST BECAUSE I’M WHITE???

Fucknuggets.

2

Did you stop and make him get out of your car?

I would have.

3

Oh wait, nevermind. I must have missed that. <needs to go to bed>

Did you run up behind him after he got out, and give him a nice imprint of your license plate on his ass?

4

It happens occaisionally, and always takes me by surprise. I usually just say “I don’t want to hear that crapola”.

My old boss used to use certain phrases like “work like a field hand nggr.” If it was the US I could have maybe done something, but it was in China and management back at HQ didn’t want to hear about it. Ended up with me being terminated, and the above was one of the “personality” clashes that we had.

I hope someone has a more constructive answer.

5

Yeah, it happens to me, too.

White asshole uses the “n” word, assuming I’ll approve

Black person slandering Jews, assuming I’ll approve

Christian slamming pagans, assuming I’ll approve.

Straight person slamming homosexuals, assuming I’ll approve

Asian slamming some other Asian group, apparently not caring if I approve or not.

Jew slamming Muslims, assuming I’ll approve.

Man slamming women. Women slamming men.

Sick sick sick sick. But I’d rather know someone is a bigot that not know. Stealth bigots are the worst.

6

I find this really embarrassing. I’ve got a white friend who’s perfectly decent most of the time, but after a few drinks he starts getting like that. he doesn’t use racial epithets, but he makes really crass comments about “them” - meaning the Chinese, most of the time, but it could be Filipinos or some other group here in Hong Kong.

I just shrug and raise an eyebrow. I’m not going to change the guy, and he knows I don’t approve (and, to be fair, I’ve observed that he’s moderated his comments in my presence over time). He comes from a background that’s not all that cosmopolitan, I guess. I think it’s insensitivity rather than real bigotry - he’s actually married to Filipina and gets really pissed of about overt racism - violence, etc.

Still, it makes me squirm, and I’m not a big fan of PC-talk.

7

Aargh. I started a thread about this once before – how I cannot spend one hour in the presence of my father without his using some slur. Last Saturday it was “the gooks.” (This besides my sister telling her 2-year-old niece, after a rather messy snacktime, to come over to me and tell Auntie Scarlett that “I ate like a tard.”) I am starting to come down on them, so they at least don’t spew their garbage around me. But it’s a damn long haul.

8

Nope, unfortunately you’re not.

I have a cow-orker who used to say “Nigger Rig” a lot. Now that he has become “religious” he has replaced that lovely phrase with “Afro Engineered”. :rolleyes: The next time he says this one in my presence, I’ll be making a complaint about it.

My Sister: We have the same Father but different Mothers. Her Mother is Mexican. My Sis grew up being called “spic”, “wetback” etc - you’d think she’d be more thoughtful than to call people “Nigger Bitches”. Nope, she wasn’t. We had a long talk about this. I told her about a dearest friend of mine (A black man) and why I couldn’t sit back and let her talk like that in front of me. If I don’t say anything to her, I’m as much as condoning it & that would be a huge disgrace to a wonderful friend.

Same situation with a former friend. He was otherwise one of the most intelligent people I had met. He said “Nigger” about 3 times in one conversation. I also told him that out of respect for my friend, don’t use that term in my presence, and if you really feel that strongly about the term, we don’t need to be friends.

In general, I try not to tell people how to conduct themselves but this one I can’t ignore.

9

This is very interesting, and it made me think of something. Has anyone ever seen a post similar to this, posted by a black, or mexican, or any of the other so called minorities? I can’t recall seeing one, mainly because they’re allowed to trash whitey all day long, and whitey is expected to take it. Sorry for the hijack, but it just doesn’t seem fair.

10

Amen to that.

11

I get the same thing where I work. Customers come in, look around, and then tell a racist joke.

12

Bandanaman I think your assertion is faux. I’ve have real life examples of people taking friends/families to task for negitively stero-typing whites. You’re comment sounds like thinly veiled racism, but I’ll just let it go…

As to the OP - I actually have a friend that will make comments that come straight out of her ass:

“Oh, I like gays.”
"Oh those pakis are all the same. (God I hate that word.)
“Asians always dress really well.”
etc, etc, etc.

I always look at her and say “You know, I be you have no idea how ignorant that makes you sound.”

Also, my SIL is asian. My dad used to think it was pretty funny to tell racist jokes. One day I looked at him and said “You know, when you tell those jokes, SIL assumes you’re directing them at her.” (SIL had told me this). He doesn’t do it anymore. And just for the record, I used to call him on it long before my brother married his wife.

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What makes you think so called minorities sit around and trash whitey all day?

That’s a bunch of bull shit.

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My mother in law, upon seeing that she had a doctor that was from China, informed the hospital staff (including him) LOUDLY that she wouldn’t be having any “chink/slant” doctor operating on HER.

He is, bar none, the best heart surgeon in the state, and a wonderful man. I worked at the hospital and knew him. NEVER IN MY LIFE did I want to open up a hole in the earth and be swallowed up.

The stealth racists are the worst, IMHO. When people slip those comments into conversation, if it’s possible I get up without a word and leave the room, or I say “I refuse to debate this with you, but just so you know- I don’t agree with your speech and I won’t sit here and listen to it”.

I used to have to leave my ex-inlaws about once a week because of the father in laws racist rantings. Sickening!

Zette

15

Welcome to the underside of Harford County. Fortunately(?), that’s about the worst of it.

Bigotry sux.

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I disagree with you on one account, alice. I don’t think his racist comment is thinly veiled at all. Given that Weirddave is expressing his disdain for racist statements in the OP, I can see Bandananan’s post is a blatent attempt at racist trolling. It has obviously worked, as I am pesponding to it. But I’ll simply refer him back to dave’s OP and be done with it:

17

You’ve been here how long Bandanaman? Why do you assume no minority has made this same argument? I’ll tell you, just for your own personal enlightenment (as it seems you need a whole lot of personal enlightenment) I have complained about this very thing coming from my father and my “keeping it real” sisters. I even started a Pit thread about it.

Now you can take your whiny whitey ass to another thread.

18

You should meet my father-in-law. He actually still uses the word “colored.” :rolleyes:

They won’t let our kids swim in the pool at their apartment complex because the “coloreds” swim in it. Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize it was 1950 and we should have a “whites only” and “coloreds only” pool.

We were at their house one time and there was a bit on the news about Dr. Benjamin Carson, world-renowned director of pediatric neurosurgery at the Johns Hopkins, and my FIL commented that he “wouldn’t let no colored doctor” operate on him.

I don’t dare mention my friends Kate and Brian around him, because he just has to clarify, “They’re the ones with them adopted Chink kids, right?”
Uh, no, they’re Korean, so that should be “them adopted Gook kids.”
Geez, at least get your ethnic slurs right, you moronic bigot! :rolleyes:

And they wonder why we don’t come over more often.

19

I guess there is a first time for everything

20

Bandanaman, quit trolling. I’ve just looked up your posting history on the SDMB, and I don’t believe that you have added much value to this board. You have, however, been a jerk on this board. Shape up or ship out.

Lynn Bodoni
for the Straight Dope