Commercials that think you're an idiot

In terms of the developed world (the only place that sees these ads) and barring any mental illness, head trauma etc., I categorically refuse to believe this. thetruth.org is the same as PETA, they are not about actually providing any practical help to the ones they claim to be, they are about being seen trying to help them. IOW they are narcissistic, selfish, butt-in-skis helping nothing other than their own inflated egos.

I have more respect for Big Tobacco than I do these pretentious, self-righteous, hipster douchebags. At least BT has admitted, “Yeah, we sell cancer, deal with it like an adult…”

There’s a new TV commercial with a woman sitting ALONE in her kitchen, unhappily eating a limp salad. In the foreground, on the counter, is a luscious cake with a big wedge cut out of it. There is no dome or cover of any kind on the cake plate.

The woman gives up on her desultory dinner, rises and walks toward the cake as though she’s sneaking up on it. She’s like a villain in a melodrama; all she needs is a mustache to twirl. Then it is revealed she’s not going for the cake but for a “diet” candy bar, which she enjoys almost to the point of orgasm with a glass of water.

  1. The cake is all dried out anyway; how long has it been sitting there without any covering? Who ate that big wedge out of it?
  2. THERE’S NOBODY ELSE IN THE KITCHEN. Does she think the cake is going to scuttle away like a cartoon character?
  3. Lady, if you want cake, eat cake. If you’re trying to avoid the temptation of eating the cake, cover up the cake and put it away.

Plus, she’s been sitting in there for how long, suffering through her salad, obviously knowing that her beloved diet candy bar is just sitting there waiting to be eaten. Maybe the cake doesn’t scuttle away, but the candy bar tends to burrow into the floor if you startle it?

Now there’s a novel idea that has never been suggested before.

He’s six. I suppose I could pimp him out to a developing country that doesn’t have pesky qualms about child labor.

The kind of labor, in fact, that probably ends with Stompees being offered for the low, low price of …

Are you not aware of where The Truth came from? As part of the settlement of a major lawsuit against tobacco companies, they were required to fund an awareness campaign about the dangers of tobacco use. The Truth is what came out of that. It’s an organization funded by tobacco companies, as ordered by the court, to educate people on tobacco use. There’s certainly room for debate about how effective their messages are, but their motivations have nothing whatsoever to do with narcissism, selfishness, or egos, nor with pretentious, self-righteous, hipster douchebags. It’s more than a little odd to say that you respect big tobacco more than the truth, when they’re essentially the same thing.

You’d love a couple of local businesses where I live:

Product Supply Northwest (they seem to sell a variety of bricks and paving stones, and related … product)

and

Western Materials (apparently a building supply store)

Right here on these boards we have had posters claim they smoke because they want to, they are not addicted. Denial.

And, they have done that at the point of a gun. Hardly a honest admission.

I mentioned it elsewhere but the commercial for Michelob Ultra with the woman wearing that blue toga/tarp/wrap/curtain dress. She looks like she left a frat house in a hurry and just grabbed the first set of drapes she could find.

Also, every Geico commercial with that guy made out of money. It’s just stupid and annoying. (…aren’t they all.)

Way back when, I saw one of those “Truth” commercials that breathlessly told me that tobacco contained urea… which is found in urine! Horrors! Big Tobacco is making me smoke pee!

Of course, urea is one of the most common fertilizing agents in the world. Most agricultural products are produced using it. It’s also used to brown pretzels, added to gum, a component of many toothpastes and found in numerous beauty products. Just because something is found in urine doesn’t make it urine.

A few restaurants have done commercials insisting eating out is cheaper than cooking for yourself. To ‘prove’ it they show one plate of their food for, say $15, then show a cart of the groceries you’d need to cook the same meal. Oh noes! More than $15! Maybe as much as $25 to buy it all.
Except most ingredients don’t come in single-serving packages, so that super expensive cart of groceries is buying you four or five meals with food left over.

Another radio ad (or several, actually) - “Go to www.holyshitI’mgonnaberich42.com today!”

What happened to www.holyshitI’mgonnaberich 0-41? Really?

I’ve heard they use the different addresses to dertermine how successful ads were in a select region. You’re in region #42, someone a ways down yonder is getting commercials for holyshiti’mgonnaberich41.com

Thank you! Stupidest commercial ever.

“You said that men were better drivers than women. But I didn’t get in an accident for six whole months! Guess that showed you, bozo.”

If you think not getting in an accident for 6 months is something to crow about, you might in fact be a terrible driver.

I’m not saying men are better drivers than women, nor do I believe that. But that particular woman is an idiot. Or rather, the men or women who wrote her dialogue are.

Also, I have to give a shout out to that horrible Yaz commercial were the one woman lists all the disclaimers.

Her idiot friends: “Wow, you really know your stuff!”
Disclaimer girl: “I didn’t go to medical school for nothing!”

Yeah, because that’s what people do in medical school, don’t you know. Memorize the side-effects of every medicine, so they can recite them to their friends.

Bonus points because Yaz was later sued for not adequately warning people of the risks of their medication. Maybe she should have gone to law school.

Their actuaries are geniuses, if you think about it. They’re charging everyone extra so they can send dividend checks to most of them, and make them feel all happy inside. And it works.

And those herbs and spices at $2.50 a bottle, that you will be using up at about a teaspoon or so at a time will last you through probably 8 or 10 recipes … that cute round carton of salt that you pay $2.00 for will last something like a year unless you take to brining stuff.

Though inversely, you don’t tend to think of how much your home garbage and recycling costs, water and sewage costs, soaps for dishwashing, and electricity for cooling the fridge, possibly heating up a microwave and oven or possibly gas for an oven and preparation time may cost. Granted, everything but labor is probably under $1, and you can value your labor for shopping and preparing the food as you like.

I think of going out as paying for someone to do all the work so I don’t have to. Works for me in the long run.

Putting “commercials” in search, he indeed did discuss this.

Exactly two months after MsRobyn wrote the staff report, Billy Mays died.

Coincidence? :dubious:

Well, no, I admit I didn’t know that. But it still doesn’t really change things. Those commercials have an incredibly pretentious, condescending tone to them, like a parent scolding an infant. And if you express overwrought (supposedly) genuine concern over the health of complete strangers smoking, you’re not being altruistic, you’re being terribly inappropriate. Like telling an overweight stranger at a buffet, “You know, you really should lay off the saturated fats”. Go F yourself!

Another current one that irritates the shit out of me is the guy that’s talking to a guy from State Farm at 3am and his wife catches him and thinks he’s talking to his mistress.

The whole thing is beyond stupid. Why the hell is this guy calling at 3am? Why did the guy answer the phone? Why did he get out of bed and go downstairs to answer it? Why does his wife fail to realize it’s a man on the phone? Why does she ask him what he’s wearing?

And what’s the point - that if you get State Farm they’ll be so dedicated that you’ll get calls from them at 3am? Sign me up!