And the season has begun for the anoying Korbel champagne commercials. Do you really expect some of those responces due to the brand of bubbling grape water?
Those commercials hawking “magic electric muscle exercisers,” or whatever they’re called, give me nightmares.
First: does anyone believe that causing your stomach muscles to twitch a bit will give you rock-hard six pack abs?
Second: don’t the manufacturers know that watching muscle tissue twitch in response to electrical impulses is sickening? The people look like dead frogs in a biology class experiment, fer chrissake!
Then there are the new elasticized plastic tops you can put over the top of a bowl of food in lieu of Saran wrap or foil. I’m sorry, but they look like shower caps to me, and I immediately make the association of getting hair and hair grease on the food. Retch!
(Paraphrasing, of course)
Little Girl: “Mommy, why did you name me ‘Savannah?’”
Evil Parent: “We named you after the place you were conceived…”
(Convulsions) I don’t even know where to begin on this one.
- A parent who names there kids after the place they got knocked up?
- A parent who would actually tell their kid this?
- A kid who just simply accepts this?
- A car company who thinks this will sell cars?
Maybe I can get some endorsement money for naming my kids ‘Serta’, ‘MerCruiser’, and ‘Lowe’s Top Choice Lumber’.
You have been warned:
One day, as Daddy was sitting in his Barcalounger reading the paper, his oldest daughter came up to him and asked the following question: “Daddy, why did you and Mommy name me Rose?”
“Well, honey, we named you that the day we brought you home from the hospital. As we were carrying you through the garden, a rose petal fell down and landed on your forehead, so we named you Rose.”
Upon hearing this, the second daughter came to him and asked: “Daddy, why did you and Mommy name me Lily?”
“Well, honey, we named you that the day we brought you home from the hospital. As we were carrying you through the garden, a lily petal fell down and landed on your forehead, so we named you Lily.”
Upon hearing this, the third daughter came to him and asked: “Grrlg, lkb kul ggl lgh lthlg blgr bh lgrblhglghbl?”
(I warned you, remember)
Daddy growls: “Shut up, Cinderblock.”
Boy, was THAT ever in the wrong thread. Due to the previous post, I cross-wired with the unfortunate names thread.
D’OH!!
Sorry to have put you all through that.
I’ll guess…
“Spontaneous transexualism”?
…And calls dialled to 911 (or your operator) are charge-free.
Well, they could technically say that if you buy one, then you get one “free”.
It’s when they say “no purchase necessary” that you’ve got them.
Apperently, a woman gets quite the “bang” for her “rhymes-with-buck”! While I agree the ads are pretty much selling them as candy (“We got a pill for this and a pill for that and a pill for that and do you have THIS problem? Well, we have a pill for that too! You say you don’t have problems? Well we have a pill for that as well! We’ll find problems you didn’t know you had and get you a pill for it! Stop being reasonable and just consume already!”), the Viagra one is just a bad example. It has no ill effects on your run-of-the-mill woman.
My vote goes for any product that pretty much CREATES a social problem out of something people do not really notice (like, let’s sayyyy… Dandruff) then presume to bring about the solution even before you fully comprehend the fact you had a problem in the first place (like, sayyyyy… dandruff shampoo!)
Or how about ads for things that don’t even describe what they are.
[Doctorly voice]
"Are you bewteen the ages of 25 and 82? Then you might want to ask your doctor about Cleezmax with “Jugebah”. Cleezmax is the legendary new product from the makers of Kozzgorn in Norway and it can help you, too. Cleezmax is designed to go straight to the source. Remember Cleezmax with “Jugebah”. Ask for it by name.
[/Doctorly voice]
Darq’s response: What just happened here? Something occured here, I’m just not entirely certain what it was…
Don’t forget the kicker to this ad: The baby is named Concorde. Reminds me of the family who wanted a big company to name their baby. They had no takers.
No specific ad here, but ANY ad on TV for mail order products…
“Only $19.95, [sub]plus 4.95 shipping and handling[/sub], so CALL NOW! 555-2726”
Since most of these items are NOT sold in stores (this is even a point of the ad “Not Sold in Stores”), the only way you can get this particular widget is to have it shipped. Thus, the S&H should be part of the price - would come to $24.10 in the above example, or TV rounded to $23.95 or $24.95.
I ABSOLUTELY HATE this in Commercials.
Just remembered a radio commercial that was so bad I sent email to the company it was advertising, pleading to put an end to 'em. Remember when eBay started their automotive section? And the commercials that made eBay auctions sound like a major league sports broadcast? They were cute at first but I got so tired of those after a couple of months those I had to remove my headphones every time one started. That’s when I emailed eBay customer service.
I barely watch any TV nowadays so here’s a couple things from print media–
-
Toronto (& presumably elsewhere) has been plastered for most of 2001 with ads for milk. (Not a particular brand, just milk in general.) Their idea of how to convince people to drink milk is: huge cheesecake posters of a naked man or woman with a grin-to-the-camera of the type one normally sees in porno, being deluged with gallons of milk. It looks like some extremely weird pornography, actually, & I can’t think of anything that makes me less interested in drinking milk.
-
Ads have been appearing lately in the papers–they all have the same format, but the first one really caught my attention:
Picture 1: very very pregnant woman lying down caressing her bared, bulging stomach. Caption: “YOU CAN SHOOT THIS.”
Picture 2: just-born baby. Caption: “OR YOU CAN SHOOT THIS.”
Picture 3 finally shows…a camera, & a little verbiage about it (price, merits, &c). But I’m just stunned that the ad copywriters paid no attention to the connotations of the word “shoot”: I mean, until the last frame, I was seriously wondering if this was some especially creepy anti-abortion ad or something.
I cannot BELIEVE no one has mentioned those horrible “truth” anti-smoking ads. They’re flat-out offensive (and then they say “think this is offensive? So do we.” Oh you’re so clever. [rant shortened because this isn’t the Pit]). Remember the one where they piled body bags around the Washington Monument? They should all be carried out and shot. Yes, we get your point. Smoking is bad. We know. You don’t have to be (insert curse of your choice here) to get that point across.
I hate deodorant ads. Particularly the ones that came out recently featuring guys smirking into the camera while applying deodorant and then sniffing their armpits. UGH.
There’s a car commercial out now – can’t remember which car company – that shows people all over the world in orgasms of delight over their mid-sized sedan. It’s bad when it’s a suburban American family high-fiving each other over this great car. It’s worse when it’s an Irish sheep herder. It’s even worse when it’s a pair of Inuits. But when they ever show an African tribe in the middle of the savannah gathered around this damn car with spears in hand, grinning like damn fools… grrr, that makes me so mad. What the hell use do they have for the damn car?
Here in Richmond a company called Qualitas Solutions, which does training courses for MCSE and stuff like that, has been running an ad set in a bar. A rather unattractive woman – obviously the girlfriend of the guy who made the low-budget ad so that no money would have to be spent on actresses – is hit on by a couple of jerks and heads away from the bar in disgust. As she walks away, she overhears a fat, unattractive man tell his friend “Yeah, so now I’ve been trained by Qualitas Solutions.” Naturally this causes the woman to skid to a halt, give her best flirtatious hair-toss, and purr seductively, “Excuse me, but did you say you were trained by Qualitas Solutions?” The fat guy gives this huge, wide-eyed, smug grin to his friend. Unbelievable. I hate this ad. “Get trained at Qualitas Solutions! It’ll make you THECKTHY.”
Maybe not ABSOLUTELY HATE, but find deeply disturbing…
Molson Canadian commercial with the guy trekking thru the wilderness to the tune of The Proclaimers “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)” to buy a 24 of Canadian, walking all the way back & dropping said 24, whereupon he turns back around to go back…
Maybe it’s supposed to be funny, but anybody dropping a 24 of beer - even Molson Canadian…
That’s not funny, dude. It’s very distressing. And disturbing.
[sub]to me, at least…[/sub]
…oh yeah, and every Pepsi commercial.
z
I thought these incredibly annoying ads were over, but just recently I’ve seen a new one. The heroic kids go to what I presume is a tobacco company and pester people with glasses of ammonia, because tobacco companies put ammonia in cigarettes. I always wonder how many of the actors step out for a cigarette the second they finish filming.
Coors commercials.
Now Thats Original
'nuff said
I’ve seen that one too. It’s SO incredibly obnoxious. What I hate the most is the documentary format that their commercials take on – for example, in the one Ballybay is talking about, they’re in a mall with a “hidden camera” tracking their activities. But I really doubt that their commercials are the big undercover activities that they want you to think they are. Ergo, they’re using false advertising to make their point, really no better than the tobacco companies they protest. Damn hypocrites.
The ads for the anti-cholesterol drug (I forget the name) that has people in a roulette wheel. The sound of the ball rolling around is really annoying.
Just saw the new Miller commercial…
Cute couple starting to make out, and then someone leaves a message on the answering machine. Someone from a video store mentioning a couple of overdue adult videos (Q: Since when do video stores call about overdues instead of mailing?). Woman, being astonishingly gullible and all, immediately leaves in disgust.
Cue to inside of bar, where we see the call was actually made by some supposed friends who needed another drinking buddy.
The utter disgustingness of this is indescribable. News flash, guys…when you show people using your product, it’s best to portrary them as something OTHER than complete scum. Good lord. I feel dirty…
Is there some rule that all radio spots for Mercedes dealers must be stupid?
Example #1: Couple goes to nice restaurant to celebrate anniversary. Guy gets window seat to watch how the valet handles his Mercedes. Guy gets upset and bangs on window. Couple retreives car and heads for a drivethru instead.
Example #2: Couple goes out for a Saturday night dinner. Guy spends entire night sitting in a Mercedes parked inside a dealership. Woman leaves, slamming door. Guy remarks on how great the door sounds when slammed.
Example #3: Entire commercial features people finding creative ways to insert their Mercedes into conversation.
Example #4: Couple is out for a drive, in the woman’s car this time. Woman tells guy, “I love you.” Guy says he loves the car. The second time this happens, woman kicks guy out of the car. Guy yells, “I didn’t get my turn to drive yet!”
Wow. Just as they change the last line, I finally get the joke in the Chrysler Concorde commercial.
Time Warner Digital Cable has a new radio commercial that I find extremely annoying.
This being the holiday season, I presume the family in the ad has the extended family over. Luckily, they also have digital cable in every room in the house. The husband asks his wife where the parents are. She replies they’re in the study watching football.
He asks her were all the aunts are. They’re in the other room, watching a movie, she replies.
He asks her where the kids are. She replies that they’ll all up in the kids’ room, watching TV.
She asks where they are. He replies that they’re in the den, with Time Warner digital music!
Wow, thank God these people have cable so they don’t have to mix together as a family. Why don’t they just go ahead and made the motto “Time Warner Cable-the way to avoid your entire family this holiday season”?