Yeah. I knew exactly what you meant. It’s still a mischaracterization of the relationship, and even if it’s not. . .then what Athena wrote applies.
Neither could I and I’ve been a (heavy at times) social drinker since before I was 21.
Just another ignorant characterization of it.
So, if “Bob” is your drinking buddy and he gives up drinking for whatever reason, he won’t be your buddy anymore?
Well, it depends specifically on the nature of my relationship with Bob.
You’re acting like the relationship is some simplistic notion like “drinking buddy”.
I’ve gone to NASCAR races with SOME OF my drinking buddies. I’ve gone to concerts with them. I’ve helped them move. Yeah, I’d still hang out with them.
Some of them are guys I just yell at the TV with in the bar, and if they gave up drinking in the bar I’d never see them again.
There are guys I’d consider drinking buddies that I don’t even know if they drink. They hand out in a bar all night with a drink. I don’t know if there’s alcohol in it or not.
And it still has nothing to do with whether a drinker has a more active social life. Even if I wouldn’t hang out with Bob if he stopped drinking, it wouldn’t change the nature of my social life. A new Bob would be there to take his place. That’s the point of going out and being social.
(note: most of this is past tense. I don’t spend a lot of time in bars since I got married. I sometimes miss it. Sometimes don’t.)
I agree that it depends somewhat on the culture as irishgirl said. I worked for a while with several observant Mormons who didn’t drink at all. From office conversations, they seemed to have very active social lives (it probably helps having 6 or 7 brothers and sisters each). Parties and camps and whatnot actually seem to be something of a requirement.
. . .to someone I met in a bar.
Maybe.
If “Bob” is my basketball-playing buddy and he gives up playing basketball, then we probably wouldn’t be buddies anymore. Unless, of course, we’d found some other interests we both shared and expanded our friendships beyond basketball.
Now just substitute “having a beer at the pub once a week” for basketball, and you’ll get it.
That’s why I asked. Fighting ignorance and all that.
Maybe you and Bob get together at the bar/pub every Saturday night and talk sports, politics, etc. I don’t know what “drinking buddies” are supposed to do.
I just wanted to say that I have found the responses to be highly interesting and enlightening. Thanks! I hope more people pitch in: the more perspectives, the better understanding one may get.
Social dynamics are quite interesting and complex.
I would just like to add: it seems that people who choose not to drink for institutional reasons (most likely because of religion), rather than personal reasons, would also have an active social life because of a sense of community and an effort to provide an alternative to the drinking scene. I might guess that Muslims, Baptists, Christian Scientists, and Latter-day Saints have many activities within each’s group. Perhaps those what choose it for personal reasons (health, dislike for alcohol, dislike for the drinking scene) would have less active social lives (unless they worked particularly hard on it).
WRS
But basketball is not a physically addictive substance. People who drink alot/often in bars are often alcoholics or become alcoholics. Alcoholics are by definition dysfunctional. Clinging to the notion that an addicts circle of enablers and suppliers are somehow a positive social life is enabling in itself.
My family always has alcohol at events, very lively.
My wife’s family NEVER has alcohol at events, also very lively.
Both are different environments, but both are enjoyable.
I have friends that I drink with, and friends that I don’t drink with, I think you can have both.
I certainly hope you’re not implying that anyone who drinks must be an alcoholic.
I’m a social drinker, only getting to “drunk” very rarely. I’m certainly not an alcoholic, though I know quite a few folks that certainly are.
I guess it’s a matter of whether there is a critical mass of non-drinkers in a population. I mean, obviously if you’re the only person in town who doesn’t drink, and you can’t abide drunk people, you’ll be passing many a lonely Friday night. But as someone who has no interest in social drinking, bars or clubs, I’ve never had any problem finding people to hang out with and be sober (mainly because I just plug into the geek network and find gamers.) You may be underestimating the people who drink rarely or not at all.
One man’s amusing night out is another man’s tedious waste of time. I’ve think drinking is boring and pointless and can’t imagine why anyone would rather do that than play a nice strategic board game while having an intellectually stimulating chat. People who like to go to bars and clubs think games are boring and pointless and can’t understand why I don’t want to go out, have a few drinks, and flail around to loud music while getting snubbed by attractive members of the opposite sex. And you can probably say the same thing about avid sports fans, opera afficiandos, hiking enthusiasts, and lots of other groups that spend their leisure time in different ways. Different strokes for different folks.
That’s quite a statement. Got a cite for it? Because I, for one, don’t believe it for a second. Not all drinkers are alcholics. There are plenty of people who drink a few beers or a couple glasses of wine every day - perhaps even at their favorite bar - and never become alcoholics.
See also, this thread
In my experience, as you get older, you feel less pressure and less inclination to drink at social events. We still socialize as much as we ever did, but I almost never drink, my husband usually has one or two beers, and our friends are very similar. People getting stinking drunk at social events is very rare now, compared to getting puking-up, falling-down drunk once a month as young adults. It’s more important to get home at a decent hour and get a proper night’s sleep now.
First of all, no one was talking about a “positive” social life. 
The whole start of this thread was the OP saying “most of the non-drinkers I know have quite quiet social lives while the drinkers are quite socially active.”
I THINK most of us would agree with that.
Whether you think the social life of a drinker is one of quality isn’t really relevant. That’s the kind of social life some of us enjoy.
The rest of your post is incorrect and hyperbolic.
Wow, I am truly amazed at the ignorant and negative overgeneralizations about drinking that there have been in this thread! Trunk and Athena are doing a great job of fighting the good fight, but it seems like every other post is someone else saying something ridiculous:[ul][li]“How many of the drinker’s friends are only around when there’s drinking to be done?”[/li][li]“Well there are different types of drinkers. The social alcoholic, who started out only drinking socially, will have a lot of friends because he is always going out. The alcoholic who wants to drink to forget bad memories is not going to have a lot of fun and fewer friends.”[/li][li]“If ‘active social life’ means ‘getting drunk all the time,’ you’re right on the money.”[/li][li]“But I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less than hang out with a bunch of people whose main goal was to throw up before the evening was over.”[/li][li]“People who drink alot/often in bars are often alcoholics or become alcoholics.”[/li][li]“People who like to go to bars and clubs think games are boring and pointless and can’t understand why I don’t want to go out, have a few drinks, and flail around to loud music while getting snubbed by attractive members of the opposite sex.”[/ul] :rolleyes:[/li]
This reminds me very much of the “things you don’t get” thread. Why are so many people completely incapable of simply saying “I don’t get it” or “it’s not my cup of tea” without proceeding to spew ignorance and disdainment about whatever it is they don’t get?
Oh yeah, I forgot to address the OP:
I like to drink (beer is good), but none of my friends who live around here like to drink, so I hardly ever drink. Which means I’m kind of in the middle: I have friends and a social life, but I do think that I’d have more of a social life if I also had friends who drank. In fact, I often wish that I had some friends around here who liked having a few beers at a bar.
The above also means that I get ridiculously happy about opportunities to drink … two are coming up in the next three weeks, so look out, Fairfax County!
They say that Ireland have a lot of problems with drink(and we do)
However a lot of you guys can’t even talk about it without silly uninformed generalisations, judgmental horse shit and other BS.
Geez guys, get a grip.
I don’t drink. After one highly embarrassing episode when I was 16, I have been dry since.
I hung out with drinkers, though. I thought it was cool. I learned the hard way that it wasn’t. After the Nth episode of being in a bar or someone’s house where somebody had enough booze to “loosen up” and “lower their inhibitions” and then somebody got hurt or wound up on a crying/puking jag, I discovered that being around drinkers wasn’t fun. So I decided I would hang with folks that didn’t drink as much. And there wasn’t that much difference.
Now I hang with people who don’t drink at all, or drink rarely (think an occasional glass of wine with dinner), and they are a total blast to be around.
I was shocked to see a quote from my post appear in the list, but I guess that statemnt taken out of context could come across as distainful; I guess I should have made sure that my portrayal of drinking was as positive with my protrayal of gaming, rather than reflective of my personal experience of going to bars. So change it to “Go out, have a few drinks, dance, and socialize with other people who are doing likewise.”