I don’t think people have to portray drinking in a positive or negative light. One’s observations are one’s observations, whether right, wrong, positive, or negative.
So let us keep observations, theories, and the like in this thread, and move all discussion of generalizations, ignorance, and the like, to this thread.
Thank you!
WRS
So, Misnomer, are you trying to discredit my experience as a bunch of hyperbolic BS? It happened. I have known and been around people who wanted to get as drunk as possible, as soon as they could. Then they spent a bunch of time throwing up, and passed out. And at the next opportunity, they’d do it again. I didn’t say everybody wanted to do that. I reported what I saw, repeatedly. People who do this are not my cup of tea, or my idea of pleasant company. How is this ridiculous?
What you said was “But I can’t think of anything I’d like to do less than hang out with a bunch of people whose main goal was to throw up before the evening was over.”
Like I said, “neither can I.” What we’re talking about is drinking as a social activity.
What you’re talking about is some extreme form of drinking, more typically done by college kids, and has no relationship to the reality of those of us who actually drink as a major component of our social lives.
You’re portraying “drinking” as hanging out with degenerates in shit holes. Total straw man BS.
This thread is filled with people WHO DON’T DRINK SOCIALLY bad mouthing the activity of drinking socially, and their observations are filtered through limited experiences and biases.
(e.g. Clothahump who stopped drinking because of one embarassing episode at 16. God, everyone of us had an embarassing drinking episode at 16. A lot more after that too.)
If you want to convince the OP that you have as active a social life as drinkers, then let’s hear what all you non-drinkers are doing. Stop slamming drinking, though.
Even the only alcoholic (that I know of) in this thread said, “depends on the drinker”.
[sarcasm] Yes, fishbicycle, that’s exactly what I’m trying to do. [/sarcasm]
What I found ridiculous was your implication that your experience somehow applies to everyone who drinks. You and I both know that you don’t have to say “everyone” for it to be implied – but if you didn’t mean to imply it, either, that’s fine. It’s just how it came across to me. If I misunderstood, the fault rests on both of our shoulders, but I found the implication ridiculous so I included it in my post. I ain’t mad atcha or nuthin’.
Our experiences around people who drink and in bars (as both patrons and performers) have obviously been quite different … which is not to say that I haven’t seen plenty of the kind of behaviour you describe. I just don’t think it’s reflective of the behaviour of the majority of people who drink.
I didnt say all, you did. Allow me to elaborate a bit. If you drink significant amounts of alcoholic beverages for your tolerance level on a daily basis you probably are an alcoholic.
I have been through a couple alcoholic step parents as more than a few friends and cow-orkers who are in complete denial about their alcoholism because they define it as sitting alone at home drinking till they pass out every night, or some other extreme level of nonsense and they never do that they are out having fun with their friends at the bar, like the bar is just where they happen to meet.
Reminds me of the Margaret Cho bit about your drug dealer showing up for a social visit and drugs are a “surprise” that just happens.
Never seem to meet at the library, or the coffee shop, or the movie theatre, or someplace that doesn’t serve…wait for it… alcohol.
but the alcohol is secondary, really.
I know drinker does not equal alcoholic
I do drink, but you might catch me drinking once or twice a month. I LIKE several alcoholic beverages alot and keep most of them on hand at home but I intentionally do not make a habit of indulging in them because I have seen up close and personal how easy the transition is. I won’t go there.
As several others have mentioned there are plenty of social opportunites for non-drinkers, both in and out of bars. I have been there and done that myself. In my experience what alot of my aquaintences call a good time at the bar, I call a giant enabler circle jerk.
No offense intended to non-enabling circle jerkers. 
Good, thanks. Same here. I didn’t come into this thread to start a fight!
Right, of course it’s not! I did say back at the beginning of my first post that I’m not rabidly anti-drinking or drinkers. It’s just not my scene anymore.
None of the people I consider friends are only around when there is drinking to be done. In the rare times that I actually drink, it is usually with the people that I would be around otherwise.
Sometimes there are other folks around that are only present when drinking is to be done, but those people are not my friends.
I agree. This holier than thou attitude is one of the reasons non-drinkers don’t get invited to the party.
What profound activity SHOULD these friends be around for that wouldn’t involve some level of drinking? Hanging window treatments?
When you are a young adult (20s-30s) pretty much your entire social life revolves around drinking. Cocktail parties, frat parties, house parties, “hotel” parties, office parties, happy hours, dudes night out, girls night out, wedings, bachelor parties, beach houses, ski houses. It’s practically impossible say “friends are only around only when there’s drinking to be done” because when friends are around drinking IS done and if there’s any kind of drinking, the friends soon come around.
And it’s not like we get drunk until we get sick pass out. Most people can go out with their friends and manage a few drinks.
And many was the night I cried myself to sleep. When my friends would have a party where a lot drinking was going to go on, they would invite me anyway, but let me know they wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t go. It’s not the drinking I have a problem with, it’s the “attitude adjustment” that drinking can bring.
Warning label: may not apply to all people. Even though most of my friends drank to some degree, the times we spent together did not “revolve around drinking.” True, some drinking was involved, but it was rarely the central theme.
Re-read my explanation of what I said.
As a lifelong non-drinker, I’ve never had to get defensive about my lifestyle (or, according to some, the lack thereof). When drinkers ask me why I don’t drink, I tell them I’ve never had the desire to do so. The majority will then accuse me of said “holier than thou” attitude or question my masculinity and/or sexual orientation.
Most of my friends who did drink were obnoxious asses even after 3-4 beers. After a few hard drinks, they were unrecognizable.
Yeah, that comment doesn’t reek of holier-than-thou-ness at all.
Your very first comment in this thread had nothing to do with the OP, and instead was (perceived by many as*) pretty darn judgemental. Granted, “judgemental” isn’t the same as “defensive,” but all the same your halo is lookin’ a little tarnished.
*can’t tell me I don’t know how to learn a lesson… 
No halo here. I just asked a question with no malice aforethought. The misinterpretation of said quesion was not my fault. Read my later post and Trunk’s replies.
I drink, everyone I hang out with drinks, some of my buddies are also into drugs. Still despite frequenting the bar scene and the house parties and the frat parties(mine is a college town) the “Oh My God I am so Alone” feeling visits me from time to time.
The only time I know of that non-drinking has been a problem was when my roommate met this beast Russian guy at his wrestling class that was really cool,so my roommate wanted him to come chill, but the guy didn’t drink (go figure); so as two males they really had no socially acceptable reason to be around each other. Other then that I have not seen non-drinking impair or improve anyones social life.
Up until about a year ago, I didn’t drink. Now I drink quite frequently, both out and in.
My social life hasn’t changed a jot.
Other comments:
Maybe your friends are just obnoxious ass holes who can’t hold their liquor? As I said, the vast majority of my friends and acquaintances drink. I would say that the vast majority manage to not be complete jerks when they are drinking. Generally by the time you are an adult, you can usually figure out how much you can drink without getting sloppy or offending people. Kids (late teens-early 20s) can be obnoxious when they drink because often they are obnoxious at that age anyway.
No one is acusing you of anything for being a non-drinker. What people are taking offense to is your implication that drinkers relationships are somehow not as strong or as deep as non-drinkers.
They can be more so as well as less so. Alchohol (and drugs for that matter) can provide sort of a false sense of community. One can go to a lot of parties, have a really good time with people they never met or only know tangentially, and not really be close with anyone. On the other hand, you rally have to be good friends with someone to tolerate some of the crap that occassionally happens when you drink too much.
Well, if anyone read that into what I asked, they should go into the Hungarian phrasebook business.
My hovercraft is full of eels.
WRS
I wasn’t really accusing you of having a halo (or accusing you of thinking you had a halo, or anything along those lines), I was just trying to play a little with the “holier than thou” image. It obviously didn’t come across the way I intended. 
Look, my point was that you claimed to have a tendency to be accused of having a “holier than thou” attitude while also claiming that you never get defensive (or otherwise deserve the label). I was just pointing out that you managed to come across as pretty darn judgemental right out of the gate in this thread, so I could see how others might “misinterpret” things that you say. Your later post and Trunk’s replies have nothing to do with the point I was making.
Oh, and claiming that the misinterpretation wasn’t your fault? Bullshit. Communication is a two-way street, and it’s as much your responsibility to be clear about your point as it is mine to understand what you mean. Regarding this particular instance, when you say something that almost everyone “misinterprets,” it darn well is your fault. Later posts clarify your point, of course, but shrugging off responsibility for the initial miscommunication is just, well, irresponsible.
“Hungarian phrasebook business,” indeed … climb down off that high horse for a few minutes… grumble grumble
I recently found myself thinking that the vast majority of adults are not comfortable socializing without drinking. That for those who don’t drink, in general they just don’t have a lot of fun getting a bunch of them together to hang out. I am not terribly comfortable in social situations, and for one medication or health-related reason or another a lot of times I can’t drink. It’s not a moral conviction that prevents me from drinking. When I’m not taking medication or dealing with a health condition, I enjoy a good glass of wine or mixed drink, and beer with the right pub grub. But my sense is that those who will be staying sober for one reason or another tend to drift away from those “big groups of people hanging out” things. I do find myself and other nondrinkers find enjoyable ways to spend our time, but it’s more on the line of having a hobby, taking a class, doing volunteer work, and not being social just for the heck of it.
What more can I say? I meant nothing offensive by what I asked. You can believe me or not.
This tobacconist is scratched.