I’m hoping to have a thread on coping with compulsive eating. I’m a compulsive eater…usually it hits in the evening when I’m relaxing. I’ve been eating compulsively in the evening for the last 3 days, but I didn’t eat compulsively for 4 days in a row prior to that. I’ve been reading a book about obsessive-compulsive disorder and that feels more like my problem than binge-eating or other types of disorders.
I’ve finally separated eating & weight loss from exercise (mostly), which helps me to continue exercising even if I’ve gained a pound or two or am in a pigging out phase.
I’d like to hear others’ stories and supply each other general support.
If I may, I’d like to set some ground rules:
–Please, NO fat-bashing
–No recommending diets like Atkins or Weight-Watchers, or encouraging someone to “eat carrots instead of potato chips” (but feel free to share your story if you do that)
–No advice unless specifically asked
My point is that it’s more about recording your experiences and how you’re doing and how you’re approaching your problem. Or if you’re choosing not to approach it at all.
I hope nobody gets mad because of the ground rules, but I want this thread to be nurturing and supportive–approached with the same compassion that we’d like to see towards folks with a drug or alcohol addiction.
This is such a coincidence. I was just sitting here, after eating a bunch of crap I didn’t even want or crave, thinking that I have to get this under control. I eat when there is any stress or disappointment in my life. I even eat because I’m overweight, lately it’s like I’m trying to reach 200 pounds.
I need to just stop right now. Part of it is to stop drinking diet soda. I drink anything with nutrasweet and within an hour I’m looking for sugary snacks. Another part is to think before I eat. I’m going to try writing down how I want to control my eating 15 times in the morning and at night. I’ve had luck with doing that with other things… it must just keep my resolve fresh in my mind. I don’t know. I’m too old to still worry about this.
So, Heart , even if no one else wants to participate at least we’ll have each other.
So, I guess I’ve been on this journey for about 7 years. That’s when I decided to stop dieting. Then I just blew up, and pretty quick. I read some books. “Overcoming Overeating” and “When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies” are the most significant ones. I made a lot of progress seeing a therapist for a year and 1/2, always improving but still a problem. I’ve more recently seen it as a compulsive disorder, not only connected to my emotions–because truthfully, I don’t think I’m that screwed up. So my latest thing is to really truly take it one day at a time. It’s pretty predictable (strikes when I’m settling down for the evening), so I’m trying to divert myself behaviorally, and it works about 1/2 the time.
Hoping for a good day today. Same wish for you, SP2262!
No need to apologize for mistyping my name. As soon as I think of a better one I’m going to request a change. I must have been in an unimaginative mood the day I picked this one.
I’m bad about evening/ night snacking too. I can eat half my total daily calories after 10 pm. OK, the truth… two thirds. I could solve a lot of that by going to bed earlier and I have good luck not eating if I’m working on a cross stitch or some other craft that needs immaculate hands.
I guess I don’t know if I’m a compulsive eater or not… probably yes. I’ll do some reading if I get time today.
It’s been great. We may want to continue this discussion there because it would be more active.
The website might help you clarify. I think you can’t really have “definitive” knowledge of whether you do or not. I have just been taking paths in an experimental way, and improving very slowly–as long as it doesn’t seem detrimental.
Basically, I think, if you are EATING, and you’re not hungry, and you don’t want to eat, but something is pulling you to, I see that as compulsive behavior (of course, IANATherapist).
I went yesterday without eating compulsively. It feels great to break the cycle, but I know I have to be vigilant. I put away my scale. It’s pretty scary, but I see it as part of the process.
I’m a stress eater, it appears. Once I got to the point where I was badly suffering from the Dunlop disease, I decided to do something about it. Weight Watchers has helped me, because it has educated me in both the areas of eating right and in ways to overcome the stress eating habits.
In addition, I’m trying to overcome the stress issues as well, thereby heading off the problem before it begins, and that has proven to be the harder of the two tasks.
I don’t know if I’m a compulsive eater or not. I browsed that website, and I seem to fit some of the symptoms mentioned.
I don’t eat that much from stress, but I do eat when I’m bored. M&M’s and chips are my downfall. I also seem to eat when my mouth tastes bad–like from coffee. I quit smoking 9 months ago, and I have gained 40 pounds. I weigh 215, and I hate the way I look. I know I don’t think about food when I’m doing something, but it’s hard to get off my butt sometimes, especially if my husband is gone. He’s the type who stays busy ALL the time, and I get more motivated to do things around the house when he is there.
I’ve thought about bringing a toothbrush to work, it might get me through the afternoon M&M craving. Yesterday I watched Dr. Phil, and they talked about sugar addiction. One woman even ate plain sugar by the spoonful!
Sorry—just rambling. I wish all of you the best of luck in identifying and solving your problem.
I think I could fit into this category also, unfortunately. I eat out of depression and stress and boredom. First of all, I have been depressed for years, and eating something yummy always makes me feel better. Sometimes on bad days I will “treat” myself to something bad because life sucks and “I deserve it” (how stupid). Living alone doesn’t help. When I lived with my boyfriend, I would never buy junkfood and I would make us healthy meals every night. Now that it is just me, I can eat whatever I want without anyone knowing, like a box of macaroni and cheese or a grilled cheese sandwich (mmm, cheese) or a doughnut (or two). I would never eat that way if someone else were present. It is also especially bad for me at night. I might eat a meal when I get home from work at 7 p.m., but them I am “hungry” again around 11 or midnight. It’s like I am addicted. I try so so so hard to stop myself but sometimes I can’t. It’s all really depressing.
Oh, SP2263, I also meant to mention that I do cross-stitch to distract myself as well, but sometimes I just don’t feel like it…know what I mean. It’s good to hear others’ stories.
One challenge I had was trying to figure out the one thing that caused me to eat–and I found it was so much more complex than that. I do find that distracting myself helps.
By the way, I thought it was interesting of the mention of the behavior and then the comment of “how stupid”. From what I’ve learned (again, IANATherapist), this is something that’s very common. You realize how absurd you are behaving (I’m right there with you), yet you feel powerless to resist. It’s hard to be compassionate with yourself when you know what you are doing is senseless and possibly even harmful.
My personal coping method that has worked for me lately has been to stop dead in my tracks, tell myself that I’m feeling a compulsion to eat, that’s it’s not a real desire to eat because I’m not actually hungry, and try to divert my attention to something else (like cross-stitch or I love to do puzzles). It took me a lllooonnnggg time to get to that, and sometimes it doesn’t work.
My therapist told me to “just sit with the feelings” and that was just completely unbearable!! I find re-directing my attention is much less harsh.
Good luck to you all, and definitely post if you need to talk!
Add me on to the list. I haven’t had a chance to check out the website, but I’m beginning to think my eating is a bit compulsive instead of just stress-driven. I’m a bit complusive in a few other areas, so this fits.
I, too am an evening eater. All day I can do fine. I don’t even snack in mid-afternoon (unless I’ve had a very stressful day. Emotion is at the root of some of my eating). But come 8:00 and I’m thinking of snacking. I may have eated dinner a half-hour before, but my mind goes to chocolate. I can resist for an hour or so, but soon enough, I go for the snack. And I often eat as though I’m never going to be able to eat this food again, even when what I’m snacking on is as common as Hersey’s Kisses. Even when I do eat an appropriate amount, I need to have a good supply in the house so I can eat as much as I can just in case I want to. If I don’t (say I have 6 Oreos at home, more than enough for an appropriate snack) I will stop by the store to get another bag or some other chocolate snack just so I have it in the house. If I don’t have enough chocolate on hand, I begin to really obsess over it and have been known to go to the store at midnight to get some–and then not eat any that night. I just need to know it is in the house.
Distracting myself will work–to a point. I’ve stayed up late just to be able to eat something (like after being out for the evening and getting home right about my usual bedtime–do I just go to bed? No, I eat, then go to bed and can’t sleep because of the sugar rush.) I’ve been trying meditation and that does seem to help. If I do Zen style (empty the mind), I feel much calmer and so can resist the compulsion. I also have a guided mediatation CD that has an affirmation-based meditation that energizes me and so again helps me avoid eating when I’m not hungry.
I’m working on compassion because I know beating myself up about it does so much harm. So, everybody, repeat after me: I’m beautiful and worthy and loved. Now, put that tape on a continual loop in your brain, and just relax.
Wow, I can’t believe the timing of this post…I’m definitly a compulsive eater. For me it’s when I’m alone. After SP has gone to work and I’ve dropped my son off at school I come home and the very first thing I think about is eating. Somedays I resist it, somedays I just eat a little, but some days I just eat and eat and can’t stop.
I checked out the Something Fishy site, I think I have a combination of compulsive eating and bulimia (because I sometimes, but not always, compensate by throwing up). I probably need to see a therapist, but that would mean admitting I can’t control it myself. And that makes me feel like a failure. I also feel like a failure that I have an eating disorder and I"m not skinny…I mean, how wrong is that? I’m borderline bulimic and I’m still 60lbs overweight.
Lately I’ve been focusing on exercise…bike riding, walking, horseback riding, etc. I guess I’ve gotton to the point where if I can’t really control what I eat, at least I can control how much exercise I do.
Good luck to everyone, and while I’m sorry others have similar issues to mine, It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
I eat compulsively, have done for years, no idea how to stop it, but I’ve discovered I don’t eat while I’m sitting at the pooter, so I spend far too long each day online, or playing games to stop myself from munching everything in the cupboards. I tend to eat late in the day as well, I’m fed up of people telling me “but you must eat breakfast!” Why? What law is there that says I have to eat first thing in the morning, and it just adds an extra X calories to my daily intake …
The book is “Brain Lock- Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior” by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, MD. It’s actually recommended on the something-fishy site, but I got the book before I saw that.
It basically allows one to place blame on their “wiring” instead of being so hard on him/herself. I have a certain shame in this, but I want to believe that it’s my brain, and not because I’m an awful person who has no self-control. So far, using the simple, 4-step method when I have a compulsion has really helped.
It’s more geared toward hand-washing, checking and the like, but it’s really been helpful.
I guess I feel shameful about thinking that it’s my brain because you hear over and over from people who don’t really know what it feels like saying “just stop eating” or “it’s simple” or “it’s completely your fault”. So of course, I feel like it’s a cop-out. But the success of the method is proving itself.
Your situation sounds very similar to mine. But I am evn more overweight. I live in Sacramento also so if you ever want an exercising partner or just someone to talk to get ahold of me. My e-mail is in the profile.
Oh, amarinth, I didn’t answer your question about the difference. I can’t definitively say, but the biggest thing that strikes me is that I don’t eat real fast (usually) and that’s a binging characteristic, and sometimes I only eat a small amount when I’m not hungry. For example, maybe I have dinner and I’m not hungry. Perhaps an hour later, when I’m still not hungry…I’m bored or restless or anxious, I’ll grab something else to eat. Basically have another small meal. Sometimes, I keep going until it’s time to go to bed. Sometimes I just stop there. I’ve never eaten a 1/2 gallon of ice cream or a whole box of cookies in one sitting…these are things binge eaters talk about.
But I have eaten a full dinner at a restaurant, got the remaining stuff to go, and ate the rest when I got home (even though I was still full)!
One thing I read was that people’s eating disorders can change from one form to another, and I can say I was probably more anorexic when I was fasting 1-2 days a week and eating very low fat the remaining days and going on a 3-day fast on a quarterly basis. Occasionally when I was done with my fast, I would binge. Then the binges got to be more regular alternating with the fasting…I’m kind of seeing that as bulimia…then I saw the craziness of all that and decided not to diet anymore (oh, and I discovered Thai food) and was more about just constantly eating.
Now I really only eat when I’m not hungry in the evening, this is what I’m trying to overcome now.
