I just got a new computer game for my b’day and it got me thinking (which is not always a good idea, but what the hell.)…
Reasons I wish life was more like a computer game:
1)a cheat code would give me all the money I could ever need,
2)I could make disasters when & where I wanted them,
3)a reset button for when I don’t like the way things are going,
4)a delete key for those people who REALLY need to be deleted.
Reasons I’m glad life is not like a computer game:
1)Some else having a delete key,
2)World War 3,4, & 5 are started just because the cat jumps on the keyboard,
Consciousness is that annoying time between naps.
One reason I wish life was like a computer game:
- When things are going well, you can Save it and play it again later.
And when things aren’t going so well, you could load to an earlier point and try it again.
And the primary reason I’m glad life isn’t like a computer game: No need to download patches!
Ah, but when there’s a problem, downloading a patch can fix that! Wish life was like that. I’d have patched my Senior Prom.
Ah, but like every patch, you never know what further glitches it will cause.
Another reason I wish life was more like a computer game…You could enhance the graphical options and display settings. Woohoo! 1600 x 1200 x 32 bit color! Alright!
Cool! Hey, wouldn’t game sequels be sorta like reincarnating?
My number one reason why it should be more like a computer game: if you talk to me too many times, I will start saying funny things in weird voice.
#2: People will let you just take stuff from their home, if you promise to use it to kill monsters.
The protagonist is always your friend, and the villain never is.
Happy endings are pretty common.
The world shouldn’t end just because the electricity goes out.
If life were more like a computer game, you’d get more funny quotes like this one from Full Throttle…
“Let me go, or else!”
“Or else what?”
“I’ll bleed all over your driveway!”
If the world were more like Ultima online…
…nothing changes–you still pay ridiculous amounts of money for beachfront property, and baker * is * a viable way to live. God that game is creepy; people pay real money for fake Ultima money…weird…
PRO: Money Cheat Codes.
CON: I’d never get to buy that guinea pig I always wanted.
Silver: Unless the life game was like was The Sims, but where’d the point be in that?
Anyway, my votes for “I wish life was like a video game”:
Food, money, cool stuff just lying around to pick up.
Fast, indestructible cars.
You can jump really high.
You could buy a book that would teach you how, among other things, to get the girl.
As I learned from Cruisin’ Exotica tonight:
In video games, you can
-drive through animals, rocks, and concrete pillars unscathed
-drive a convertible that pop-wheelies when you pump the gas pedal
-drive a convertible, bash into a Humvee, and not only live, but also have your hair still looking good
-drive underwater without the benefit of scuba gear
-drive on Mars
-run over triceratops
-drive on an airport runway and smash into the luggage cart thingies
Everything I Need to Know I learned from Quake:
You can run non-stop at about forty miles an hour while carrying a couple hundred pounds of gear on your back.
You can take a shotgun blast to the head and still be able to do all of the above.
If you die, just smack a button and presto, you’ve respawned!
Reasons you wouldn’t want life to be like a computer game:
- You have to solve elaborate puzzles in order to open a door
- Everyone is always trying to kill you
- You rarely get to have sex, and when you do it’s censored
- The stores don’t carry anything but swords and shotgun shells
- Everything seems to be booby trapped
- The dialog is really bad
- All the women have enormous breasts (see #3)
Sorry to rain on the parade, but life is just one big computer game. Problem is, someone else always seems to hog the controller.
Really? I thought I just sucked at this game.
Why I wish life wiuld be like a video game:
- Pay 25 cents and you can continue fresh.
Reason not to have life be a video game:
- Someone else can pay 25 cents in order to kill me.
You only pay 25 cents? Wow, where are you lucky enough to live? Where I grew up games were nearing $1 a go even six years ago.
Another good reason life isn’t like a computer game:
You don’t have to start your life over again just because there was a two-minute power cut.
But if life was like a computer game, it would have to be like a roguelike (see www.skoardy.demon.co.uk/rlnews for information). No one chases you after you steal from a shop. You never have to pay tax, no matter how much money you have. You can take hallucinatory drugs with no danger of brain damage or lengthy jail sentences. And if you don’t like someone, you just kill them.
In a video game, I am rookie-of-the-year with the Boston RedSox. In real life, I couldn’t hit a pitched beach ball with a tennis racket.