Conan, you're a baaaaaaad kitty

I didn’t worry too much when I didn’t see you when I came home from school Wedensday night. I know it’s too much trouble to interrupt your nap to come greet me at the door. Thursday morning when I still didn’t see you, I got a little concerned. When I got home from school Thursday afternoon and searched the apartment and you weren’t here, I panicked. I called maintainence because I thought maybe you had somehow gotten into the vacant apartment next door, but you weren’t there. I then became convinced that you had gotten stuck inside the roof and couldn’t get out.

I got the Virgin of Guadalupe, St. Onuphrius, St. Anthony, even St. Michael the Archangel involved in the search. I cried. I sobbed. I demanded that Schrodinger help search for you.

Finally, I wrote Mom a note and went to work, still praying to the V of G that you would come home safe.

I came home from lunch, and you were home. Mom had found you, where? Draped over the side of the downstairs neighbor’s patio fence, meowing pitifully, pretending to be stuck. I hugged you, kissed you and scolded you. Friday morning, Schrodinger woke Mom up because he had nobody to play with. Mom went out and found you sitting, pretty as you please, on the downstairs neighbor’s patio fence.

You have to quit taking off like this. I know making a leap from the balcony to the ground and going exploring seems like a lot of fun, but terrible things can happen to indoor kitties when they go outdoors. Schrodinger stays on the balcony like a good kitty.

Do you know how sad Mommy and Person and Schrodinger would be if you went away and never came back? Do you care? Are you so self-involved that you never stop to think about the rest of your family?

You’re a baaaaaaaaaaad kitty, but I still wub you.

Do you know how dangerous balconies are to kitties?

That’s why I got chicken wire. The cat would scare the heck out of me leaning way out there. shudder

Cookie Monster disappeared last night too. I climbed out onto our roof to look for her, shouting her name like mad. Eventually I heard her bell jingling in the far distance - she emerged from the bushes way away over the other side of the waste ground at the back of our house, where she’d been talking to a Traveller’s horse. I had no idea she liked exploring that far away. The canal’s the other side of that wasteground and I shudder to think what would happen if she fell in. Naughty Cookie.

I’m pleased to read your kitties are safe and well, Thea and jjimm. Cats are such adventurous creatures…I know mine are, and I suspect they find it amusing to scare the crap out of us humans.