Concise movie reviews for 2003

  1. T-3 was mediocre, not out right horrible, but not terrific either.

  2. Reloaded was better than Revolutions and neither of them deserve the same billing as the original.

  3. TTT and ROTK were better than Fellowship and are some of the finest films of any genre in years.

  4. Lost in Translation was beautiful and skillfully crafted but it was boring! He doesn’t speak Japanese… there are only so many ways you can rehash that joke before it’s no longer funny.

  5. American Splendor was a marvel and the inclusion of Pekar himself disparaging the film’s treatment of his story during the movie was brilliant and hilarious.

  6. The Hulk was great for the 20 aggregate minutes he was on the screen the other 6 hours of wooden melodrama were less than engaging.

  7. Bubba Ho-Tep is one of those films that flies under the radar for a few months and the next thing you know everyone and their brother says it’s their favorite movie. Think Big Lebowski.

  8. School of Rock shouldn’t have been rated PG-13 nor marketed on late night television, it is not an adult comedy.

  9. Finding Nemo was stunning and rather heartwarming, but that fish voiced by Ellen was annoying and not funny.

  10. Kill Bill was pure icing. All style, little substance, and it works because it never pretends to be anything else.

  11. Pirates of the Caribbean was a genuinely entertaining popcorn flick. When Johnny Depp is on he’s outstanding.

  12. Bad Santa was the funniest movie of the year. It holds no punches, never breaks character, and taps into the inherent comical value of a drunken, cursing Santa.

  1. 21 Grams is a depressing movie and the editing adds nothing special to the plot development.
  1. Terminator 3 is a very fun movie, but will never be considered as good as the first two.

  2. Bubba Ho-Tep is the funniest movie I saw all year. Bruce Campbell will forever be God.

  3. Bruce Almighty was very funny when I saw it, but the further away I get from it the less tempted I am to see it again.

  4. X2 was better than the original.

  5. The Matrix Reloaded had some great action scenes but was terribly bogged down by it’s “plot.”

  6. The Matrix Revolutions was better than Reloaded but neither one was even in the same stratosphere as the original.

  7. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was good, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

  8. Hulk was boring and the ending was incredibly stupid.

  9. House of 1000 Corpses was pure total shit.

  10. Wrong Turn: see above, but at least it starred Eliza Dushku.

  11. Daredevil was alright, Michael Clarke Duncan was the perfect Kingpin, but nothing to write home about.

  12. Darkness Falls was stupid.

  13. Dreamcatcher: see number 9 and number 12 and add in a ton of plot holes to boot.

  14. Love Actually was really funny. And all sorts of gorgeous woman. With English accents. Naked. I’ll stop.

  15. 28 Days Later was the best horror movie of the year hands down. Very creepy.

  16. Finding Nemo was really funny and really cute and shoul dbe seen by everyone regardless of their age.

  17. Freddy vs Jason was everything fans had been waiting for. And Jason kicked Freddy’s ass!

  18. Identity was good until the very dumb ending. Conversely…

  19. The Order blew until the last five minutes, which were great.

  20. Final Destination 2 had some interesting kills and great gore, but it’s a pale imitation of the original.

  21. Confessions of a Dangerous Mind was out there, insane, weird, and I loved every minute of it.

  22. A Guy Thing wasted the talents of Jason Lee, Selma Blair, and Julia Stiles.

  23. Johnny English was pretty dumb but had a few moments of good comedy.

  24. The Recruit is proof that Al Pacino loved playing the devil and now every role he plays will be an extension of John Milton.

  25. Dirty Pretty Things is not the mystery that the trailer painted it out to be, but it was still a great movie.

  26. The Italian Job is a lot of fun and the Mini-Cooper chase was great stuff. Plus, it was the first date I took my girlfriend on so it holds a special place in my movie going life.

  27. Pirates of the Caribbean was the best movie of the year.

Timeline had the biggest plotholes in years and mediocre acting.

Master & Commander had the best battle scenes in years and decent acting/writing.

Underworld was an enjoyable two hours that I forgot as soon as I left the theater.

Bad Boys II: glorious excess.

Matrix: Reloaded: (snore)

Matrix: Revolutions: (whistle)

Lost In Translation: A relaxing time! (if you’ve seen it you’ll get that)

Matrix: Revolutions: Great battle scenes! I’d be willing to see those parts again, and skip everything that involved “plot.”

Pirates of the Caribbean: Avast! An all-around wonderful piece of entertainment.

Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle: Well, I turned it off after about 20 minutes, but they were the stupidest, most ridiculous, most non-sensical-est 20 minutes I’ve ever seen (I didn’t expect it to be good, but sheesh).

Finding Nemo: This is all I want for Xmas. :wink: