The Right has long felt that the environmental movement was becoming essentially a religion for the Left. Now it seems that journey is complete, with a confessional and everything:
I suspect much laughter will ensue from the responses.
Much laughter will ensue because it’s pretty clearly tongue in cheek.
Wow. There are some confessions, and then there are stuff like this:
I have no words.
That’s a pretty accurate summation of “The Right”'s general position on the subject.
Apostate! Burn him!
The last thing we need is for people to think about the impact their own behavior has on the environment. It might accidentally lead to meaningful change, forcing hardcore comedy fans like the OP to find some other hilarious thing to giggle at.
If the righties think it has become a religion, then guess what? The right is wrong as hell, as usual. Lefties generally care about the environment, and respect the science that claims we’re doing great harm.
My car has a V-8 engine that only uses 4 when I’m cruising. I could do better by the environment, I suppose, but I don’t put many miles on it and I pass the emissions test every 2 years.
It is pretty hard to make sense of what appears to be Trump’s war on the environment. How shortsighted, and how craven to big business can you be? Thinking most recently of the proposal to restrict California’s air quality laws.
But as to the OP - any who takes a plane trip is creating a pretty massive personal carbon footprint.
No need, he’ll take care of that himself. Take the rest of us with him, too.
I guess if Noah had decided to have a barbecue instead of a cruise, he’d have nothing to repent.
I love the environment. It’s nice having air with oxygen and not too much lead. However, I have a confession. Sometimes I take 2 showers in a day. 
Grilling a steak a week is bad? What, are supposed to eat it raw?
It’s high but not OMG high. I did the math for an LA-NYC trip. Fly commercial, and you generate the equivalent of 1900 kg of CO2. Drive that same trip in a car that gets 30 MPG, and you generate 845 kg of CO2.
My sin? Recreational motorcycling. I’ll ride a motorcycle across multiple states to get to where there are fun, scenic roads. And then I’ll spend several days riding those roads, taking extremely circuitous routes between waypoints, and riding in an extremely sporting fashion - that is, hard on the throttle and hard on the brakes, all day long. And then I’ll ride across multiple states to get home afterwards.
Basically anyone who burns fossil fuel for fun or luxury ends up being tagged as a climate-sinner. Enjoy airshows? Sinner. Motorsports? Sinner. Running the AC when a fan would do? Sinner. Dry your clothes in a machine instead of on a line? Sinner. Hot oatmeal? Sinner.
Hmm, lets see…
My daily driver car is an emissions-fixed 2012 VW Golf TDI diesel
my garden tractor is a 20+ year old Kubota 3-cylinder diesel (just a muffler, no emissions hardware)
I own a 1999 Yamaha V-Star 650 classic that has no emissions controls, just mufflers
my house uses both propane (stove) and home heating oil (oil furnace) and HHO is basically diesel/kerosene
I am an omnivore with strong carnivore leanings
on the upside;
I really don’t drive/ride excessively much, under 10,000 miles a year
I grow a large percentage of my food in my backyard garden
I keep the house at 68 degrees in the winter, and in the mid 70’s in the summer, and try to use as little home heating oil and electricity for the AC as possible
I’ve planted a good amount of trees, shrubs, and blueberry bushes in the yard
Liberal.
Is that per plane or per person?
Per passenger. So yeah, it’s 2.5X what you put out if you drive, bu it’s not like it’s 30 or 40X or something.
I confess…after 10 years of owning a hybrid car, I sold it and got a full-blown gas guzzler.
Also, I eat red meat in up to nine meals a week, if you include all-beef hot dogs, beef meatballs, and pepperoni pizza as “red meat.”
And, even though I live alone, a few nights ago, I had the lights on in three rooms at once!
Good - I downsized to a condo
Bad - The HVAC system gave mass trouble which caused me to have to manually manipulate the air conditioning (more expensive and wasteful), and it was the old, freon-using, kind
Good - I replaced the system with something that uses less energy and doesn’t use freon
Win
Good - I’m unemployed and therefore not driving back and forth to work
Good - I didn’t fly to France or Seattle as I wanted to because of unemployed (and therefore poor)
Bad - I still flew to Ohio and back just to deliver a kitten (used FF miles)
Win
Good - I’m trying to eat more veg meals instead of meat
Bad - Due to move, I no longer grow veg and must drive to farm market
Tie
Bad - I’m ordering stuff online, and sometimes it comes from China in plastic bags and cardboard boxes
Good - I use reusable shopping bags as often as possible
Lose because I don’t think it’s an even-up trade
Good - I now practise trying to find pre-owned items instead of buying new in order to not add to the landfill.
Bad - I no longer have a compost heap for me food scraps.
Win but only a small one
So I’m doing a bit better than I was two years ago on the green scale (I was already trying to be green) but I still have a way to go.
I thought the right’s general position was “It isn’t happening, you can’t make me believe it’s happening, lalalalalalalalala” (fingers in ears)