I am simply damp with contrition and remorse. All these years, hassling the Usual Suspects, and it turns out they are only the unfortunate victims of mental derangement. I feel terrible!
I suppose I should have suspected as much, in retrospect, when I think about the logical conundrums that they have served up with straight faces. I should have caught on by myself, really. I mean, anybody who can regard GeeDubya as a Leader of Men, well, not playing with the full deck, ya know?
But I have been remiss. Mockery and derision is not the proper response to these poor souls, they can’t help it, they are trapped in the remorseless coils of mental illness!
What is to be done? There they are, trudging hopelessly through a forlorn existence, their suffering and plight must surely soften our hearts with gooey compassion. From mild Republican neurosis, through the Libertarian delusions of relevence right on to full blown Ayn Rand psychosis, our conservative brothers and sisters suffer!
Those of us who walk in the light of mental health and emotional hygiene must take action! They cry out to us for succor (or they would, if they weren’t nuts…).
In the finest liberal tradition, I call for immediate action of an unspecified nature.
Very funny elucidator. The article says nothing about a “disorder”. Specifically:
I’m not going to defend what the article does say. I’d like to look at the actual study. But I do think we need to be clear that it doesn’t say that conservatism is a disorder, lest people take your jest seriously.
I notice on preview that Scylla thinks he’s funny too. :rolleyes:
I may be conservative, but at least I’m not so retarded as to think the linked article even attempts to place conservativsm in the realm of mental illness.
And here’s Scylla! Poor fellow, how we have wronged you! Sit down here, can I get you some tea? Some Zoloft? Don’t be nervous, we’re all on your side here. Its just time to share, don’t you know, time to talk it all out and get to the root of the problem. What do you think it was? Bedwetting issues? The haunting fear that Eugene V. Debs was hiding in your closet, waiting to grab you?
As for “committment”, well, thats a bit extreme, at least for the moment. But you’ve got to make the first step, Scylla, if we’re going to help you. And we do want to help you, indeed we do! We’re liberals! We are positively afroth with compassion for the unfortunate, its just that we had you confused with the recalcitrant and obstinate, we didn’t realise it was a defense mechanism for a forlorn psyche.
We’ll make it up to you. We simply won’t rest until you’re all better!
There has been a lot of research in the field of psychology of late suggesting that being beaten as a child causes you to become a conservative in adulthood, favoring vengeance policies like the death penalty and the use of military force-
“Working in the context of affect displacement theory, i.e., that emotions from childhood can be displaced onto adult political attitudes, his research has demonstrated a relationship between experiences of harsh childhood punishment and support for punitive public policies such as the death penalty and the use of military force.”
er, that may just be drool. Perhaps a friend or relative could check for you.
btw, persons that found this study of use to them also ordered
“Proof! Trilobites only 400yrs. old” by the Bob Jones University Research Group and “They’re Here!” by the Art Bell Institute of What’s So. “Family Planning” by the Falwell Institute of Absolute Truth was also a popular choice with these same readers.
Wow, that’s what I was just about to write, word for word. Guess I’ll have to come up with something else.
You know, I’m no conservative, but I’m tempted to call myself one just to annoy that conceited, arrogant, pretentious fuckwit. But why bother? With every post he inches closer to speaking a language only he can understand.