Conspicuous consumption

In My Humble Opinion
41

Oh, as for conspicuous, I’d have a new truck delivered every few days because the other one has run out of gas and no longer works.

The dealership would have to stay on top of things as I’d buy a new house every few weeks when I ran out of clean dishes and towels and the house was no longer fit for humans to live in.

And I like the idea of a demolition derby with Ferraris and Bugattis! For warm-ups, we’d use my discarded trucks. I’m sure there’d be someone I could hire that could figure out how to “repair” them with enough gas to survive the race.

42

I’ll hire Bill Gates to wash my car every second day.

43

One pair of everything Manolo Blahnik makes - in a size 9.5 :stuck_out_tongue:

Custom closets. A really outrageous bathroom (extra long soaking tub, separate Jacuzzi, built-in lighted vanity - you name it.

A full-time gardener/yard dood.

VCNJ~

44

Just last night I was idly fantasizing about setting up a passive-infrared motion detector and an electronically-actuated valve on a high-pressure garden hose, aimed at the little ledge over my door where pigeons like to roost and poop for the night.

Now, of course, I realize that the proper thing to do would be to hire Blackwater Security contractors to patrol the neighborhood in up-armoured Hummers, using a pneumatic cannon to hurl my carefully-collected excretia at any filthy bird that has the temerity to come within five square blocks of my house.

45

And Warren Buffet on the other days. But what to task Larry Ellison with? Guess he can pick up the towels.

46

A quiet home near Talkeetna, Aklaska. It’s not that isolated. There’s a Wal*Mart just down the road.

But first things first. That Patek Philippe watch.

47

Socks have a short life span so I throw them away. The ones I recently bought were of a better wearing quality so I expect to have them for years.

48

Everyone needs to have their own Personal Flosser! Also, I’d get wild and replace my toothbrush every month!

49

I’d keep a cauldron of hot water on a constant simmer for the purpose of tossing ice cubes in it just to hear them crack.

50

I like the story of Lord Curzon going over his accounts with his financial advisor, who politely enquired whether Curzon really needed the expense of keeping a pastrycook on his domestic payroll (given that he lived by himself and seldom entertained). Curzon’s face acquired a disgusted look: “My God, so it’s come to this: a chap can’t have a biscuit with his port any more!”.

Someone to take the top off my boiled egg. And if they get any shell in it, they’re fired. As I can very well go a whole year without eating a boiled egg, I hope this is conspicuous enough for you. :smiley:

51

I agree thoroughly with this one. New socks are just so…nice. Thick, no thin spots anywhere on them.

I love having new socks. I haven’t bought any in a while and I am starting to get some that are worn out…maybe I get to buy new socks this weekend.

52

We have drinks after work on Fridays. I’d hire Bob Seger to play for us while we
had our beers. No - better still, I’d hire *Bruce Springsteen * and make him play a bunch of Bob Seger songs. I’d also travel to work by Zeppelin.

mm

53

People! Do it now! Fluff-n-fold is $0.90 per pound here in tony Redondo Beach. For me, that’s $20-$24 every two weeks. They match and fold my socks and fold my underwear! It’s like I’m the King of All That Is. (And I’m not the nicest king. I have one million white socks, all of them subtly unique, and I feel free to change them several times per day, just because. And they match them up perfectly every time.)

However, I’m not sure that that’s “conspicuous consumption,” as it’s only conspicuous to my neighbors who stare at me with jealous rage as I saunter back to my door with my laundry all folded and wrapped in plastic while they toil away in their pathetic little non-fluff-n-fold lives.

More conspicuous:[ul][li]travel (everywhere, including whatever Russian spacecraft I can get onto)[/li][li]beautiful house on a rocky bluff somewhere north of San Francisco[/li][li]beautiful house in Austraili … Australi … New Zealand so I could experience wonderful autumn-like weather year round[/li]giant robot with death rays coming out of its eyes (just for kicks; nothing nefarious)[/ul]

54

A personal shopper. I love clothes, but I hate shopping. I could say, “I’d like a pretty, simple sundress,” or “I need a new suit,” and they would come by my house with three or four options for me to try on and choose from. Nice clothes, too, not the stuff that I currently buy on sale at the mall.

Every winter, I would spend a week at a terrifically fancy hotel in London. During the days, I’d hang out at the British Museum, the National Gallery, or the Victoria & Albert. Every night, I’d see a different play.

55

I’d have a house built with all green technology - all the coolest stuff from geothermal to green roofs. Then, I’d fund the companies and researchers that are trying to make a go of it in that industry.

56

$1 million each for my divorced parents. $2 million each for my two brothers. Good sized trusts for some friends who have problems with money and can’t manage it properly. A million or two each for some good friends who can manage their money perfectly well.

A slightly larger house (see below) in a quieter location - I love my current house, but temperature control is atrocious )freezing in winter and boiling in summer, and yes I have added insulation and it’s a brand new furnace and air conditioner) and it’s in a very noisy neighborhood. I like silence unless I’m the one creating the noise.

The larger house because I’d want completely separate quarters for my live-in personal assistant, whom I would never see except when I needed him/her - I’m flexible, so generally speaking a responsible, hard-working college student would do perfectly well. Day labor for house cleaning/laundry house maintenance, cooking/shopping, and yard work (including snow shoveling/blowing). (These would also be instructed to avoid me as far as possible.) Real estate is cheap here in Trenton, so a larger house in a quiet neighborhood could be acquired easily for under $300K or even $200K. A bathroom on each floor would be a requirement, as would a garage. Possibly a neighboring house for my Mom if she wanted it, and similar services for her.

Unlimited purchases from Amazon books and DVDs, PLUS unlimited Pay Per View and the Pay channels on cable. I hear about these amazing shows on HBO and Showtime, but I never see any of them.

If I were as I was a year ago, I’d also get a Mini S (I have a Scion xB), but I have apparently acquired chronic intermittent dizziness, so I drive so little these days that it wouldn’t be worth it. On the same note, travel is now not in the cards short of a drop dead emergency, and learning to ballroom dance is out of the question.

Extensive donations to charities and political movements.

Obviously, pay off any and all debts, including my mortgage. Pay my accountant to handle my investments entirely.

Possibly one of those huge flat-screen TVs, and upgrade to top-notch home theater equipment.

Otherwise, I’d live exactly as I’m living now. Possibly, if one of my dogs died, I might get a Mastiff or a Clumber Spaniel from a top notch breeder, and have a trainer in to train him/her in basic stuff.

This is one of my favorite private games - I win $20 million or better net in the lottery: what do I do with it? I figure I’d end up with $2-3 million net to live on after disbursements, and that would be more than ample for my simple lifestyle. I really don’t want to DO anything different from what I’m doing now - it’s just that I’d like to have the stuff I don’t do get done. And believe me, I do virtually nothing by most people’s standards, and would certainly want to keep it that way.

57

I’d get someone to change my dolls’ clothing each day (and of course buy all new limited edition or OOAK outfits that come out on Yahoo Japan, for my approval for keeping or resale), and keep all their wigs nice, upkeep their joints, pose them artistically so I can be suprised at what they’re doing when I come in, and move them when sunbeams hit them. Creeped out yet?

58

I would be in school. Forever. I’d travel to different schools to learn other things. I’d get a degree in everything. I’d take the summers off to live in Belize, preferably on top of a mountain in a green, green off-grid house.

I’d have a herd of pet elephants and goats and a brahma bull. I’d have a live-in vet who handled all the day to day care. My daughter would have her choice of horses, my husband would have his “Matrix” world, jacked in.

I’d have a bookstore. A neat little book store for book lovers. I’d pay someone to invent a decent e-book reader that actually appeals to book readers. It would be back lit, powered by DC, it would have a flash drive and a reasonable way to connect it to a computer. I’d pay the top writers to include a digital version of their book FREE when you buy the actual book, because just because you want to e-read a book doesn’t mean you don’t WANT the book.

I’d have a phenomenal pantry. I’d have a washer/dryer near ever bedroom or at least on every level of my home.

I’d never have a home on less than two acres. I’d buy our old house in Otter Creek and fix it up the way we always wanted to.

I’d hire an attorney to find a way to lock my father up forever. I’d set up a scholarship fund just for troubled girls.

I’d donate money to charities that don’t invoke god.

And if I had enough money, I’d personally insure myself so that I could plow into every asshole on the road instead of having to damn near kill myself to avoid hitting them. And every person that parks like an asshole (A hummer is NOT a compact vehicle) and ram 'em.

I’d have a master carpenter build out my house. Real bookshelves for books. Perfect cabinets. Wonderful wood details everywhere.

Did I mention the lawn guy?

59

I would have a maid specifically to clean the enormous, beautifully laid-out kitchen in our house. And a two-minute professional high powered dishwasher that can handle bread dough. I hate washing bread dough off things.

Also a fully stocked sewing room with a few bolts of my favourite types and colours of fabric.

And a nice high-ceilinged soundproofed practice space for Mr. Lissar, with gi for every day, a few different hakama, and a bewildering selection of practice weapons. How expensive is a really good iato?
And a guy to follow me around and say, “She’s right you know”, after everything I say. In a clipped British accent. Sorry. That’s borrowed from another Doper, but I like it a lot.

60

Not very much, in the grand scheme of things. Most of the ones I’ve seen run under $500. You can get a custom one starting about $550, and the most expensive one I’ve seen is $1900. SwordStore also offers custom work, but I’ve never actually seen an example of it.
Me, I want a Cray in the basement to do my file-serving. And another one to serve Nethack. In my token nod to efficiency, both of them can heat my floors.