I’d go get my son, and when he asks where we’re going, I’d tell him that we’re going home.
I understand this perfectly. I opened a new jar of Vegemite this morning.
I’ve never teared up on a webpost before but this one did it for me. Wow.
An invisible personal assistant.
I don’t want to interact with him or her. I just want to leave them a list of chores to do, with their paycheck attached. Don’t want to see them or talk to them. They come in when I’m at work and leave before I get back. They do my laundry, clean the house, keep the refrigerator full, change the oil in my car, pay my bills, etc.
Anything I don’t want to do, they would do it.
Since my most conspicuous area of consumption is in motor vehicles, I’d probably find some Exoticar type business to lease me fun rides on a monthly basis. That way I’d have something fun to drive whenever I wanted it and wouldn’t have to mess about with the upkeep and maintenance.
On my huuuuuge tract o’land I’d build a nice caretaker’s cottage out of sight of the main house and hire somebody very reliable to make sure all the critters got fed and the gardens were watered and suchlike. That way I could jet off to wherever I liked without having to worry about who’s taking care of the animals.
There would be many, many computers around! Probably too many cool electronic geegaws and toys as well…
New socks everyday.
That’d make life worth living.
I’d engage a staff. Housekeeper, gardener, cook, cleaner, the works. (I’d need a bigger house, of course…)
I’d hire a personal assistant to do all the real-life things that bore me so much.
I’d finally buy my Steinway grand piano.
You can sorta do that now. I got tired of matching up socks in the laundry so I bought 4 weeks worth of a very nice sock that goes with just about everything. I did this over a course of a month so it wasn’t that hard on the wallet. It’s one less hassle in life.
To the question. I would learn to cook gourmet diet food and then share the skill with friends. I’d travel and do stuff I found interesting. Nothing fancy.
I wear those fancy marino wool socks that most people reserve for the coldest winter days when they’re hiking in the bush. Even if I bought them in bulk at wholesale, they’d still cost me an arm and a leg. As it is, I rely upon Christmas and birthday present socks to maintain my meager sock inventory.
May I ask what you do with your old socks?
I’d hire an english butler. A REAL one. You know, the kind that are trained to learn your every nuance and provide the appropriate responses before you even ask for it.
A personal chef, and cleaning staff.
Then I would travel the world and buy up all the natural places that I found beautiful and set up a a parks foundation in my name.
Lastly, I’d hire out Drew Estate to make me a personal line of cigars, that no one else may enjoy.
*Personal chef
*Condo in Reykjavik, summerhouse in the nearby wilderness
*a computer that’d serve as a tv recording slave
*a house with a room that’d serve as both a spiritual purpose and be able to hold tea ceremony-- it’d need a small fire pit or chimenea type thing sunken into the floor.
*a zippier car
*a little herd of guinea pigs and a protected yard/home for them to run and play in.
I’d hire someone to clean the house regularly and possibly cook for us, although if I had the means to do that, I wouldn’t have to work and could tinker in the kitchen more than I have an opportunity to now. I’d also have someone do the yardwork- I’ll do whatever construction/repair/renovation work that’s necessary on the house, but I can’t stand yard work.
Roll up a huge spliff of the world’s finest, play one of my 365 guitars, do my wife with reckless abandon, then figure out what to do with the rest of the day… 
I would host a demolition derby with Ferrari Enzos, Bugatti Veyron 16.4’s, Mcclaren F1s, etc.
I’d probably get a complete janitorial staff to pick up, clean, etc… after me and my fiance/wife.
I’d also probably hire a trainer to get me and keep me in shape. Without the time constraints involved with professional jobs, and the obligation to show up so that I wouldn’t inconvenience the trainer (yes, I’d still be that nice), I’d probably get in decent shape.
I’d also probably hire a chef/cook to work on good tasting, yet healthy meals for us. Unless we feel like cooking, of course.
Otherwise, I think I’d just spend my time doing things I’d like to do, like fish, home brew (might hire a cleaning lackey though), the occasional travel, gardening, etc… Nothing too crazy really. I probably wouldn’t buy an 18,000 sq ft house or anything ridiculous like that. I’d probably keep my truck too- it’s new, so why buy another?
Come to think of it, I might have to have a couple of different plots of land so I could raise different gardens. One in south Florida or south Texas for tropical-ish plants for sure, and maybe one somewhere else for colder-weather plants.
I’d get myself a little private jet and do crazy stuff like lunch in Paris and dinner in Berlin. Perhaps take in a show one night in Sydney and one night in Honolulu.
I’d have a personal trainer on my plane so I could get way buff in the process - and not worry about the fact that I am eating such rich food every day.
I’d travel a lot and live in lots of different places. When I got somewhat tired of living somewhere, I’d up and move somewhere else. Then I would always feel that exciting feeling of having a new and interesting place to explore. Maybe a year in Florence, a year in New Zealand, a year in St. Petersburg, oh, I don’t know. I’d go everywhere. It would be super cool.
I also have a dream of learning to sail and sailing around the world. I love to be on boats. I think it would be the best thing in the world to be out there…on the ocean, alone, watching the sunset…that would rule.
Can you get internet access out in the middle of the ocean?
I’d get little robots to vacuum the rugs and mop the floor. Then I’ll outfit them with frikken’ laser beams!
For a lot more money, I’ll start my own private detective agency. And I’ll hire only women investigators.
Sure, just buy a satellite.
Awesome. As soon as I win the lottery (which will be tough, seeing as I never play), I’ll be able to afford all that shit.