And just remember, OpalCat, as it says in the Good Book: This too shall pass.
I realise the issue has been resolved for the time being, but I have to refute the suggestions for larger-than-a-serving ingestion of artificial sweeteners containing sugar alcohols (mannitol, sorbitol, etc) – yes, they will get your guts going, but not in a pleasant way.
I do second the proposed use of fibre when taking opiates. And heat is good for the discomfort as well as getting things moving. If you don’t have a bath (like us), a heating pad or hot water bottle or microwaved rice sock or other similar heated item will work too.
If this problem rears its ugly head again, I think I have something in my kitchen that might help :p:o
I just thought of the best tag-line for a laxative: “Poop-B-Gone! Kick the shit out of your constipation!”
snickers This reminds me of a family story.
When my mom first met her new father-in-law, one of the first things he did was tell her a joke about two little girls who wanted to earn some pocket money during the Depression.
They made a cardboard sign that said, “We’ll move anything, 5¢”, and put it in their little red wagon which they then pulled around the neighborhood.
A little boy came up to them and said, “I’d like to hire you. Here’s 5¢. Now, move my bowels for me.”
The one little girl turned to the other and said, “You hold the nickel, and I’ll beat the shit out of him.”
Sphincter Theory – band name!
Once when fighting a really horrid UTI I guzzled about 32 oz of cranberry juice in the span of an hour. The intense amount of vitamin C moved things along very, very quickly. I actually slept on the bathroom floor for a few hours so I wouldn’t be far from the toilet that night.
Next time this happens, try leaning your upper body forward while sitting on the toilet. Like you were trying to put your head between your knees. If you have a way better sense of balance than I do, you could try squatting on the toilet seat. Squatting is supposedly a more natural position for humans than sitting to have a bowel movement. Leaning forward simulates a squat for people whose bathroom equipment, balance, leg muscles, or knees are not conducive to squatting.
Rocking your torso back and forth, between leaning forward and leaning backward, while sitting on the toilet might also help.
They should make personal-sized plumber’s helpers to help things out.
If nothing else works, find someone who’s turn on by scat porn
Oh, God, yes. Painkillers can cause HORRIBLE constipation. The worst pain I’ve ever been in was from that. Labor (all five hours of it that I went through before the c-section) was nothing compared to how that felt.
I’ve been in a situation where forty people were all in the same house have all needed to have three bowel movements in three days.
We drank lots of coffee and ate lots of apples.
A most recent anecdote - I just finished taking vicodin every 6 hours for the last couple days. The ER nurse told me I would definitely get constipated on that schedule. I had some magnesium already in the house (magnesium oxide 250mg) that I had used 1/2 tablets as part of a supplement program some time ago. So, I took a whole tablet of the magnesium every 12 hours while taking the vicodin, and presto! Things have moved along just fine - maybe a bit faster than usual, actually, but I would rather than than the opposite!
Oh trust me, I tried every position including squatting on the toilet seat. There wasn’t a position that would have gotten this impaction to move.
Just wanted to add, one of the worst times I ever ran into an Ex:
I was constipated (T3s) and went to the store to get prunes and glycerin suppositories. I looked awful - sweats, messy hair and I looked like someone that was having some gut issues.
YAY! Who was in front of me in the checkout…? Yes, my most recent (and horrible) Ex. Fabulous.
I guess after meeting you ex you no longer had need of prunes?
Unfortunately no, but I don’t mind prunes, so it was okay 
I’ve run into the same problem with Tylenol 3. I know now that if I take it again it’s going to be with a stool softener.
If you’re backed up you can actually feel it on the left side of the abdomen and I’ve found that you can massage it to help things out. It’s going to be painful if impacted but it’s better than hours of pain. I’ve done this with young pets when training them to go outside. Squeeze them like a tube of toothpaste and it seemed to get things moving enough for the animal to seek greener pastures. And in the TMI side of things I had to excavate my geriatric cat when things backed up. I’ve pulled turds out that could support a car. Me ow ow ow ow ow.
What do mathematicians do when they are constipated?
Work it out with a pencil.
What do computer scientists do when they are constipated?
Work it out digitally.
Drink some coffee. It works a bit too well for me sometimes. 
Some interesting information on types of stool here. SFW.