Dear SDMB
I have, er, I mean… my “friend” who has confided in me something personal, tells me that he has been suffering from a severe case of constipation this past week or so. He JUST CANNOT INDUCE A BOWEL MOVEMENT! He’s tried Metamucil, stool softener, a wire brush and Tabasco sauce, he’s tried everything!
What do you recommend for my poor friend who seems to be full of shit? Please help!
Thank you!
Signed,
-Friend of shitty situation
Is “he” getting enough water? I always find it helps. Coffee seems to be the most effective but I only have anecdotal evidence to this effect.
Since there are serious medical problems which originally present as severe constipation, you should consider consulting a medical professional, in person.
That said, perhaps an enema, which you can purchase over the counter at any drugstore. It’s best to retain it as long as you can, before expelling it. You might need help, administering it.
Increase exercise, and fresh vegetables, and fruits and water in your diet. (not for immediate relief, mind you, but as a general guideline.)
Tris
I have no idea how well this would work. I am not a doctor and you should probably see one. The following is purely anecdotal…
…and gross…
…so don’t read it if you’re easily grossed out…
I have a friend who used
his finger
to end a recent bout with constipation :eek:.
Cigarettes always kept me pretty regular but I don’t know what I’ll do the next time I get stopped up since I quit smoking. Maybe I’ll have to start drinking coffee.
Coffee and ripe bananas.
Didja hear the one about the constipated mathematician?
…he worked it out with a pencil.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist! 
Seriously, though – Metamucil seems to work for me, or in one extreme case I tried a chemical laxative. Be close to a bathroom after you take one, though. I mean, it’s one thing to be regular – it’s another thing to be unstoppable!
Stewed prunes and lots and lots of water.
Of course, your friend should see a doctor if it keeps up.
SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY
You could have a bowel obstruction. If you do, it could rupture and send feces into your delicate innards, which are not equipped to handle such shit. The resulting sepsis will blow you up like a baloon. Then you die.
Don’t want to sound alarmist, but this is exactly how my mother died.
Mix epsom salt in warm water. It’s very very bitter but you will spend the evening on the throne. The box tells you how much to take but as far as I know you can’t overdo it. The challenge is actually drinking it. It is very very bitter. Very bitter.
It all depends on why you’re constipated. A cure for one kind of constipation will make others worse.
I would tend to avoid foods with fiber. Chili Cheese Fries and Pizza diets make for frequent constipation. Fleet enemas used to work very very well for me. Clean as a whistle.
Eww? :eek:
I’ve always found that Colace (or generic equivelant) worked well for me, but I had to keep taking them for about 3 weeks. If that doesn’t work, try an enema, then try a doctor.
err, just to be clear… that’s not “I would” as in “If I were you I would” but “I would” as in “I used to.”
In other words, it’s not advice, it a description of my past behavior.
Carry on.
This is soooo TMI that I can’t believe I’m sharing this BUTT <g> here goes :eek:
A few months ago I started to take a combination of medication which led to severe constipation. Stopping the medication was not an option; therefore, I tried stool softeners daily, drinking over a gallon of water a day, lots of salads, OTC laxatives and finally, after a week of trying to go, I used an enema. Even that didn’t help.
I was impacted and I had a choice of going to the emergency room to have it removed or removing it myself, much like Cisco described. Due to extreme discomfort, not to mention the inability to walk at this point, I chose to take care of matters myself :eek:
Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. Good Luck.
A garden hose and a tube of KY…?
How about papaya? I’ve heard that’ll get you going. Er… maybe there’s a better way to put that…
hot water is supposed to help…
Glycerin suppositories?
A WEEK!? Like in 7 days? I must be just lucky. I’m happy if I can get through a wedding or a concert without a sit-down. Furthermore, I’d like to state that…
Gotta run now…
If you’ve already tried all that with no luck, then now is not the time to be trying every member of the SDMB’s home remmedy for constipation.
GO TO THE FREAKIN’ DOCTOR!