How about a diaphragm or a cervical cap? Theoretically you should use them with contraceptive gel, but even without the gel it is better than nothing.
And keep banging away at getting a tubal, I got one in my early 20s [though in my defense, i did almost die in pregnancy twice]
If you do get the snip job, make sure to do a sperm donation to be frozen just in case … never know when you might want to reproduce … =)
Condom? Female condom?
To be TOTALLY safe:
Thanks Alex !
You’re right of course.
Im sorry I forgot to mention we always do the “Pull & Pray” method!
But, as we all know, just one of those lill suckers can wreeck havoc:smack:! Only takes one ant ruin a picnic!
DOH!
The actual use rate for condoms seems to also be crap.
I’ve been impressed with Implanon. My girlfriend has it for medical reasons, but it seems to work with no side effects. It has also completely eliminated her periods.
Have to tell you, theluringhorror, your screename is kinda how we both feel about an unplanned pregnancy. Again, no offense intended whatsoever to the great parents and their lucky children out there.
But for me, I prolly better just snip.
Thanks for the reminder!
The “perfect use” statistic means how well the technique itself works if done right. Many people may not apply it consistently, but that’s a different factor. On the face of it, “pull” works. If you want to be accurate, the expression should be “forget to pull and pray.” I ain’t arguing it beats other methods, but I think it’s more effective than most are led to believe.
Even with the perfect use, though, 4% is an awfully high failure rate. And then you have to ask what the likelihood of actual perfect use is, and whether it would be satisfactory to the couple-- I can’t imagine that pulling out before orgasm is anywhere near as fun as going all the way.
I’ve always been led to believe that “pre-cum” can and does contain sperm. I’ve only been with a handful of guys but they all have been pretty “juiced up” before insertion. If that’s the case, isn’t it already too late to pull out?
Please correct me if I am wrong on the sperm in pre-cum idea.
Seems like the most likely to meet all your conditions is just abortion when needed.
And I believe the failure rate is 0%, whether by a perfect doctor or a mediocre one.
The ‘perfect use’ statistics seem to say no. The danger of pre-cum is overrated. (And then you get into even sillier suggestions, like if you accidentally try to put on a condom backwards you must throw it out because that potential tiny film of precum is so dangerous. No I don’t think it will add much to the condom’s already imperfect 2%.)
I’m sure you know that’s per year, not per romp. So you stand a kid every 25 years (is my math correct? or is that 50% chance after 25 years?), vs every 50 with perfect use of condoms.
true enough, t bonam! Thanks for your insight!
Pre-ejaculate in itself contains no sperm. The caveat is that it can pick up sperm from a previous ejaculate on the way out. The only way that can’t happen is if the guy hasn’t ejaculated in the previous 72 hours. (that’s how long sperm can live once outside the testes) How likely is that?
Next, let’s look at the “imperfect use” of these methods, because in the real world there’s no such thing as “perfect use.” You can’t argue that. No one uses any birth control method perfectly. So let’s look at the imperfect numbers, one of which seems to have been omitted in the stats quoted above:
The withdrawal method realistically fails at a rate of 15-28% per year.
Now lets talk about percentages. This is in relation to “per 100.” Meaning per 100 couples, the failure is 15-28%. The interpretation of that in relation to a single couple is per 100 coital relations. So you have 15 to 28 chances out of every 100 screws with yer lady that you’ll get her pregnant if you only use coitus interruptus.
Not a good idea.
Seriously, get those “perfect use” stats right out of your head. You know damn well there’s no such thing.
I don’t disagree with you as a general matter but failure rate of contraception is always measured in woman-years. If 100 women used that method for a year, and 15 got pregnant, the failure rate is 15 percent.
So, It’s not out of every 100 screws, but out of every year of using that method.
If you know you don’t want kids ever, a vasectomy is probably your best bet. It really didn’t seem that drastic - 'course I wasn’t on the other end - but compared to the pregnancy, then the labor and delivery, then the healing from the tearing during the delivery, then the mastitis…the vasectomy really seemed like a piece of cake.
(He really didn’t get a lot of sympathy while he sat with frozen peas on his lap - I also did two years of infertility, including surgery and an endometrial biopsy … so really not much sympathy. I’d recommend doing it when she will give you sympathy for the great sacrifice…).
Just wanted to add: there are two kinds of IUDs. One, as already mentioned, contains no hormones and is good for about 10 years. The other contains a very low dose of hormones and is good for about 5 years. Some women who can’t use the Pill find that they can use the hormonal IUD with no problems; others can’t.
Both kinds of IUD have their potential side effects, of course, but you’ll need to talk with the doctor before having one inserted anyway. It’s worth considering if you decide the snip isn’t right for you.
Yes, but people aren’t averages, either: “pulling out” is probably used most often by the population least likely to use it correctly–young people that have rarely, if ever, had sex, and who did not think very far ahead. That’s very different than two married people in their 30s having sex–things are much more predictable.
Like anything else, there is no “right” or “wrong”: the birth control method that is best for a one night fling where both people carry terrible genetic diseases and are staring medical school in the fall is different than the method that’s best for a couple that doesn’t particularly want a child right this minute but would consider a pregnancy more a matter of bad timing than a terrible tragedy. For the first, a 4% chance of pregnancy would be irresponsible and a bad idea: for the second, the risk might be worth the benefits.
You do know to use some latex compatible lube INSIDE the condoms, right? Makes a huge difference in the sensation for the male. No the pre-lubed condoms are not the same thing.
As a monogamous couple who plan on having kids in the future, we are creative. We used condoms at first, which we both hate. I have never used, and have no intention of ever using, hormonal BC.
I practice the ‘fertility awareness method’ - I chart my cycle using external cues (cervical discharge) and temperature. I know exactly when I am fertile (which contrary to popular opinion is only a 24-48 period per month- however sperm can live inside a woman for up to a week) and we are extra-careful about vaginal intercourse at that time.
My boyfriend also ‘pulls out’ with impeccable timing.
We’ve never gotten pregnant in 4 years of using no ‘real’ birth control. But if I did, we would be fine with it. If I was really concerned about an accident, I would get a copper IUD (which can hurt like a bitch to put in and cause cramping/heavy bleeding, but altogether have a lot less risks and issues than hormonal stuff).
Besides an IUD, I think a tubal for the woman or a vasectomy for the man are the best bets.