I’d say the pool has to go and your lawn needs to be landscaped as if you live in Phoenix. Pools aren’t necessarily a plus in real estate. If you’re neighbor isn’t using his well anymore maybe you can buy into the water rights.
I agree with the other posters. Your health and sanity are more important. Don’t let your possessions weigh you done. I know that’s an easy thing to say but many of us have had our financial asses handed to us on a plate. Been there, still there.
Well, it could always get worse! I know, cause it usually does for me!
Probably not what you were looking for…
Hang in there.
I’m not able to address any of your issues specifically as it seems that we have very different lifestyles. But I can share a couple of things with you:
First, some wise words I heard from a very silly person: “There are thoughts and there are facts. Thoughts are almost always much worse.”
You can get by with a LOT less and still live with dignity and in comfort.
Most of what you’re worrying about hasn’t actually happened. Are you any better off for worrying? I would say you’re probably worse off, due to the stress. There are some things we all need to be thinking about in order to take action before it’s too late. For example, if you’re hunting for your next meal, you have to react quickly. Same deal if you’re being hunted for someone’s next meal. Everything else… You have to find a way to distance yourself from everything else (perhaps the greater part of our concerns). You don’t deserve to suffer, so stop beating yourself up.
Whelp, I’ve decided to drive to Yosemite. I might as well see what that house is like, as it’s paid for already. It’s got a 11" Celestron “GOTO” telescope I can play with, which sounds awesome. I’m still not sure I can enjoy the trip, but I’ll try very hard. I want to see the sequoias in the Mariposa Grove, I haven’t been there before. I may avoid the valley floor as it gets way crowded and I’ve been there several times already.
Thanks all for the kind words and thoughtful replies. I’m bringing my laptop and will check back tonight.
Can’t you still sell a house without a well? We don’t have a well, we have normal city water that comes in through the pipes. I wouldn’t even buy a house with a well because I don’t want to fall in or find an evil spirit in there
Take care of yourself - you’re going through a lot.
Dude. You have enough money to run at a $2,000 loss for…25 years. You are 54. Do the math.
Really not helpful. You’ve gotten married and had a kid. What if the life you are building collapsed around you - oh, and you may have a challenging, scary illness?
Do you really think Tough Love is the way to go here?
Cancer is scary and sucks, no matter who gets it. Divorce sucks too. But the economic kvetching that seems to be the center of this rant is… well, if not wholly unjustified, still very difficult to sympathize with. How horrible that supporting one’s child might cut a tad into into their investments… etc
It may be different out west, but I don’t know anyone who has a well and the option of city water. Our town doesn’t do water (or sewers. or trash pickup. or…) so home owners have wells because there is no alternative.
I’m sympathetic about the cancer, but subtlety bitching about child support and trying to sell a property under false premises is a bit rich from someone with half a million in the bank and a piece of California property about to go up for sale.
There’s no right way to be freaked and scared and angry/sad. We all talk about personal shit if we are vulnerable. I’ve read really exposing stuff about folks’ meds, personal relationships, histories, crossing of many lines of propriety, etc., here. Not sure what else to say.
There most certainly is a wrong way. Conspiring to offload a bum property on some poor family in order to add a couple more bucks to your half-million dollar nest egg is one of them.
Sorry OP, I do hope the medical results turn out favorable. Financially you are going to be fine. I don’t mean to come off as harsh, but to outsiders you aren’t coming off in the best light.
I guess I can get behind that. I copped to it up thread in the OP. I wasn’t trying to screw anyone - my wife was convince the problem was solved, and I went with her vision, fearing mine was the correct one. It sucks to be right, and now I’m ashamed. I don’t know what my ex feels, she was in heavy denial mode all this time, and I got sucked into that, while fearing I was right. And my agent was all stars and sunshine: despite my dire worries about things going south, so I went with her instinct. I’m not proud of that. We should have just drilled a new well from the get-go, but nobody but me believed this was necessary.
Oh, nononono. I am in no way regretting the support payments. My ex and son need them, and they seem just to me.* I am just freaked that I miscalculated what I can support in my life with those payments. My bad, utterly, nobody else’s.
*My wife/ex only asked for three years support. I felt this was unjust and insisted on five years. Me. I felt like I’d be screwing her otherwise. I don’t know how that sounds to someone that lives in a ‘alimony for life’ frame, but she asked for less and I insisted on more because I felt it was just.
the pool is the false premise. The well won’t support a pool that evaporates at a rate far in excess of normal well use.
You should have disclosed the well issue from the get go. You had knowledge of a pre-existing issue, and the fact that you spent $12k on storage tanks would have belied any claim of ignorance. Even if the sale had gone through earlier, you’d have had to live with that nagging fear that the well was going to fail and you’d be sued over non-disclosure, not to mention the guilt you’d have felt (I hope) dumping your problem on innocent people.
The bad news is that I can’t imagine a bank that would issue a loan on a house whose only source of water was a well. Nor can I imagine an insurance company issuing a homeowner’s policy on a home that lacked a reliable means to put out a fire. The good news is that those storage tanks/swimming pool may be sufficient to push the sale through. So that $12k may turn out to be the best money you’ve ever spent.
So, yes, disclose the truth (“12k in water storage tanks added in 2012 to bolster unreliable well.”) and see what happens. You may be surprised.
P.S. We just sold our family home earlier this year. Over 20 years, our basement leaked maybe 4 times. Mostly it was trickles during 100 year rains, but once it was significant enough that we had to remove the carpet that we’d thrown down over the concrete. We never did anything about it, because we only used our basement for storage. When it came time to sell, even though we hadn’t had any leaks in over a year, even after experiencing a wetter than normal spring, we still disclosed it. “Basement has had minor water leakage in northwest corner, though we believe the problem has been solved since our neighbor installed a sump pump in Oct 2012.” The buyers did ask us about it (through our agent), we told them the truth…and they went ahead and bought the house.
Divorced fellow here; what most other folks said.
Fact is for child support you’re on the hook for 3 years. Really that’s not bad at all, consider it an ‘economic downturn with a foreseeable end’. And really one should feel quite lucky to know it will end!
Be very mindful of your health. You may not feel like it’s worth it now, but the rest of your life is a long time and you don’t want to back yourself in a hole.
Remember this: There have been many other people in this huge world of ours who have gone through exactly what you are going through. A good number of those have made it through happy, healthy and anticipating a great future. You can do it too.
For me I lost my big 5 bedroom colonial and property to short sale, my credit is ruined, I have little savings and I’m now hanging out in a friends 1 bedroom cottage with the remnants of my stuff jammed in around me. I am on the hook for about 40% after tax, have been for 5 years and will be for at least another 5. I’m not in a relationship nor do I intend to be in one anytime soon.
And I couldn’t be happier!
I see my kids regularly, I have a decent job, I have good friends and I am in total control of my destiny. It is hard now but it will get better. Or maybe it won’t? Who knows? My life is about half over and when it ends any troubles I have end with it.
I’m excited to see how mine plays out. You should be excited about how yours can go. It’s all up to you.
Good luck!
I’m guessing that the OP’s house is outside of city limits. City water pipes often don’t run very far out of town. It’s not uncommon to have a house in the country with only a well, maybe a small cistern. My folks had, if I recollect, a well rated for 5 gallons a minute and no cistern when they bought their house, and they felt damned lucky to have even that much water. They’ve added a big cistern and the well has been reliable, though they pointedly don’t irrigate with well water beyond a small drip system in the rose garden. It’s dry out here in the West.
Most of the nicer communities around me are on individual wells so that statement is not true.
That’s what tanker trucks are for. Virtually every rural house is on a well.