Cosmo--do women take this **** seriously?

In My Humble Opinion
1

This seemed like a General Mundane Pointless Debate I Must Share, so here it is. Please move it to MPSIMS or the Pit with my blessing if warranted.

The other day on the plane home from Key West, my girlfriend picked up a copy of Cosmopolitan “for a laugh”. (Seriously–if there’s a market for Cosmo, Tamara isn’t it.) We read the whole thing, and I must say I was frequently amazed. Do women really take this shit seriously?

Some examples, all horribly paraphrased.

–Countless articles featuring clothing and accessories that seem outrageously expensive–$85 T-shirts, $247 casual shoes, $75 breast firming cream (I’m not making that one up)–are followed by a piece on common dilemmas women face, including “I Just Never Seem To Have Any Money!”

–Casual sex. According to this magazine, every woman spends her weekends cruising the bars/beach/whatever for hot studly men to take home and bump uglies with, if they even make it as far as home. I have nothing against casual sex myself, but their characterization of the general female attitude on the subject does not match my experience. Or, in other words, where were all these women when I was single?

–Those “how to please your man” articles–you’ve got to be kidding me. Many of them seem to be some variation on “Make him wait for it. Tie him up and tease him with a feather for six or seven hours. The result will be mind-blowing.” I made a special point of telling Tam that, at least in my case, this advice could not be further from the truth. Other guys can back me up or disagree if they want, but the old Jim Garrison just wasn’t designed to stand at attention for very long. After 20 or 30 minutes, it becomes quite painful, in fact. That isn’t to say that it needs to be the end, or that you can’t come back for another round. In my opinion, though, the idea that a man will have a better orgasm the longer he waits for it is totally wrong.

Other “please your man”-type advice ranged from things I would find mildly amusing to things that would really piss me off.

–An article on “How to bag your dream babe” could easily have been re-written as a fishing or hunting article. I found it to be a slightly less Puritan version of “The Rules”, which the sophisticated Cosmo audience should certainly disdain.

I’m not even getting into the obvious bilge, such as the post-teenybopper prose (clothes that will make you “up your come-hither quotient”) or the feelgood articles on why you should respect yourself followed by 50 pages on why you’re not good enough.

It really all struck me as a joke–if you’d given it to me without the cover, I almost would have thought it was a parody. Does anyone take this seriously?

Dr. J

2

I am ashamed to admit this, but I have written freelance articles for Cosmo. And may I be the first to break the news that even the people who WORK there don’t take it seriously?

3

Oh I LOVE Cosmo, I buy it every month.
Now, before you judge me, let me tell you why…It entertains me, it amuses me, it flabbergasts me. I can’t believe any sane and rational women actually follow the advise given.
Let me tell you, it’s warped my young mind about what a successful, beautiful woman should think and do.
The best part of the whole magazine is the Cosmo Confessions.

4

Eve–don’t be ashamed. I actually made the comment to Tam that I would love to write for the magazine. To me it would be like writing comedy. I would be really proud of myself if I had come up with a phrase like “up your come-hither quotient”.

Dr. J

5

From an advertising perspective…a few years back we used to describe Cosmo as the “How to Sleep With Your Boss” magazine.

6

For a REALLY good laugh, read Helen Gurley Brown’s “Having it All.” She has a chapter on the importance of being able to give a good blowjob. With advice. Cosmo has not gone far from its roots…

And speaking of writing for magazines…I got something published in True Confessions once. I was so humiliated, I didn’t tell anyone for months. My mom nearly peed her pants laughing when I confessed. Oh I didn’t even mean that as a pun.

7

Oh, yeah? Well, “up your come-hither quotient,” too!

Ever notice how much Helen Gurley Brown looks like The Cryptkeeper?

8

I can beat that. My 15 year old sister bought a magazine at every airport we stopped at on the way to Florida this winter. Among them was “Teen Cosmo.” It’s like the adult version, but with less substance. Seriously. A chapter on how you have to respect and love yourself before any “boy” will, followed by a 6 page spread on the proper application of glitter. And I wonder why my sister felt the need to put on foundation and powder to be on a plane.

9

My favorite was an ad in the back of an issue, like, 10-20 years ago. The only one I ever opened. It was for a T shirt that said “I do it (blah) times per week!”. Given the rest of the magazine, my comment was “and do you recall any of their names?”

10

Ech, I hate that magazine. It’s like soft-core porn! The one time I read it, there was an article about having sex 14 times a week and a whole fiction/porn story based on the movie 91/2 weeks. It was so ridiculous. And the fashion spreads are so nasty - open a Vogue and see what real photography is. Blech.

11

Hey! I’ve very proudly written for True Confessions and other magazines of that ilk! Nothing wrong with appealing to base human instincts!

As for Cosmo being taken seriously. Yes. There are women in the world with nothing more in their heads than how to get a lump of meat between their legs. Thankfully, they are a minority. They obsess with their “come hither quotient” (I quite like that particular phrase) since this is the only thing they have going for them.

They usually fall into dark dispar around 40 when they realize youth is transitory and they should have been spending far more time developing meaningful relationships.

P.S. for some real fun read Total Woman. It’s a total giggle! Caution: may cause anal leakage.

12

Minority?!? Since when?!? Seems to me that these types (both male and female) are by FAR the majority.

'round here, the local supermarket chain just started putting “Cosmo” under opaque boards in their magazine racks. Y’know, like what they put porno mags under, so you can see the title at the top, but not the picture on the front. Seems that they decided the pics on the front of Cosmo are a bit too risque.

I have to confess, I read it on occasion. My good friend and I used to always pic up a Cosmo or two to take on camping trips. Hilarious stuff to have around in case it rains and you’re stuck in a tent. “Hey Kris, didja know the correct way to cajole your mate into mind-blowing sex positions? Here’s an expose! And when we’re done with that, we can read this article on the right way to put on lip gloss!” Y’know, that sort of thing.

The “Agony” column is always good for a few laughs, too. “Dear Agony, I’m engaged to a great guy who unfortunately slept with my best friend, and I’m sleeping with my best friend’s husband. Should we go through with the wedding? Please help!”

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Yeah, some of the stories were hoots. There’s a real double standard when it comes to cheating. One story went something like, “So, like, my boyfriend had a friend from out of town visiting him, ya know? And he was, like, such a hottie, ya know?. So we were out, and I was like, blowing his friend in a stall in the men’s room, and my boyfriend, like, saw us coming out of the men’s room together? Like, I was so freaked. So I like, told him that, like, the women’s room line was too long, and, like, his friend was guarding a stall for me. Ya know? He, like, didn’t expect a thing. Is that cool or what?”

A few pages later was a poll in which a vast majority of the women polled would immediately dump their man if they found he was cheating on her.

The fashion spreads were another source of amusement. It seemed to me that they took women who would look great in a potato sack and swim fins, put them in really expensive yet really ugly clothing, and took pictures, snickering all the while about the colossal joke they’re playing.

Dr. J

14

Cosmo is ridiculous. Another good one is Maxim. Anybody read Maxim for Men? I love it, even though I’m a female.

15

No.

Scotti

16

Oh yes, Peppi. I’ve read Maxim, because they have the most “interesting” small articles in it. Stuff that Cecil would tackle or already has.

17

Nacho4Sara says:

And as a friend of mine says, buying soft-core porn is a bit like purchasing a luxury car without all the options. :wink:

Back when my girlfriend was in college and living in the dorms, her RA would photocopy stories from Cosmo and other equally useful stuff on put it up all over her section of the building, including on the back of the bathroom stall doors. My girlfriend and her friends were offended and insulted by this dreck that was being shoved in their faces, so when most people were away for spring break, they took every posting and turned it upside down. When the RA got back, she got really pissed and took the predictable action of taking all the postings down (the old “if some of you are not mature enough to have this, then none of you will”). That was just fine, as far as they were concerned. :slight_smile:

18

I really think Cosmo was an important magazine for the ladies to have during the 70’s & 80’s, sort of a Playboy for girls. It just is not that nessesary any more. And, at time, it reads like a parody of itself.

19

Last February, two friends - one female, one male - and I went to Italy for a week. Before we left, my female friend picked up a couple issues of Cosmo, because she said they amused her. I was completely startled, because she seemed like the last person in the world to read a fashion magazine, ie, she doesn’t wear makeup, she doesn’t cheat on her boyfriend, she’d rather stay in and chat over tea than go clubbing. I’m pretty much the same way; we’re friends for a reason, you know. I had never read Cosmo before, so I didn’t know, but we read them in trains in Italy, and they were hysterical! Our male friend was at first shocked by the advice they gave, but eventually laughed along with us. So my answer is, no, women don’t take these seriously. I highly disapprove of young girls reading this kind of magazine, as they are just horrible for someone impressionable, but serve as excellent comic relief for adults (or even me).

20

Cosmo online. I can’t remember the address or I’d post it, but it kept me and my dorm buddies amused for months, without the cost of paying for the drivel.

The best was the interactive game where you could ‘undress’ various models with helpful hints displayed.
I don’t think anyone with enough brain cells to rub together can think of that whole genre as anything but entertainment. Some people may take it seriously, I just haven’t made friends with them yet. (They may not be in upper level philosophy or Engineering classes.)