It looks to me like Zerc has anawered your question, astro.
Unless someone else can show where a human has walked up to a baboon, showed his teeth, and taken his bottle of cooldrink.
Be glad he didn’t show any interest in the gf. You can be forgiven for giving up the drink. 
Or were you?
No way:
Cecil answered this question
Though it was about Chimpanzees. As I understand it, Baboons are bigger than Chimps.
Maybe you could get the baboon to pig out on steak before the fight and he’d be all “*No mas, no mas * no more box.” Just a thought.
If you google “Baboon attack” you’ll get all sorts of stories. Here’s one:
Note that the humans did in fact shove the baboon away when it attacked, however this doesn’t really address the OP since it appears that he was asking about an actual fight to the death, not about a baboon getting pissy when a tourist didn’t have lots of food in her purse.
…but I’m still standing by my original answer which is “Baboon will win”.
The Human…if he’s prepared.
Just bum rush the critter and kick 'em in the head, man!
It’s the reverse. Chimps are considerably bigger than baboons on average. A male alpha chimpanzee is usually 130 - 160 lbs. Male alpha baboons usually top out at around 100 lbs. Adult chimps (which people rarely see) are a lot bigger than you think. TV chimps are usually juveniles.
It was a joke, Valgard, a role reversal kinda thing. Get it? I thought the mental picture was kinda funny. You know, a man baring his teeth at a baboon (and ms baboon) and then stealing his cooldrink. She probably wanted a sip.
I stand corrected. I thought the ones we see are adults. However, when you consider the muscular structure of a baboon Vs. a human, the human would be dust.
If a man bites a baboon does he wind up with a mouthful of rhesus pieces?
That’s an interesting answer by Cecil but it didn’t say if the man also was able to use the leverage. The way it is described the chimps were using the strength of their arms + both legs and some back and ab strength while if a human was doing the exercise properly they wouldn’t have had near that advantage.
As an example in early Junior high on the leg-press machine I could do something like 250-300 lbs (I can’t really remember how much I could leg press as a little kid, but it was low, I know that, I wasn’t in good shape til around 16+.) But anyways, if I put both of my legs on the foot rests, rose my body up to the top of the chair, reached down to the arm rests and pulled down as I forced all my weight down I could lift the entire stack (over 800 lbs) of weights on this machine. Which I couldn’t get remotely close to doing with the muscles of my legs alone (which is how the machine was supposed to be used.))
Anyways I don’t doubt chimps are vastly stronger than humans (in fact I know they are) but that experiment is basically useless.
I have to admit that I think people are giving humans short shrift here. Human’s legs are far stronger than a baboons, and a roundhouse kick by a 175 man to the head or body of a baboon half the weight of the man is (IMO) quite likely to stun or injure it severely. In addition humans have far greater endurance over time than a baboon (or chimp for that matter). If a man is agile enough to keep out of reach he could easily wear down a baboon by keeping out of reach until it tires then kicking and stomping it to death.
A baboon may be capable of short bursts of speed for limited distances, but is is nowhere near as fast on the open plain as a fit human runner. If man is smart and used the main strength of his endurance, killing a baboon should be quite possible.
Err, I hate to join this without knowing the stuff I was asking about, but I think the human losing is pretty accurate. I’m assuming we’re talking odds for the average 175lb 25 yr-old on beating his baboon equivilent unarmed, and whoever gets seriously maimed and/or dead first loses?
OK to address the deadly human kicking first… how many humans actually know what a roundhouse is and how to do it correctly? If you want to see the average human’s instinctive kicking abilities watch a group of people who are on a field playing soccer for the first time - you’ll laugh your ass off. Accuracy, coordination, and kicking technique (at least any that you’d be able to kill with) are pretty much non-existant until learned; and a life & death battle isn’t the time to do that. If humans were really any good at kicking things to death with no practice there’d be a lot fewer dog injuries and a lot more dead or maimed snappy dogs. I’ve never heard of a person being able to do much more than distract a medium sized dog with kicks. I doubt they’d be able to do any worse to a 100lb monkey.
I don’t think cardio combined with out-manuevering would be much of a bet either; your baboon will be at least as agile and quick as a big dog spending so much time on all fours. You won’t be able to slowly jog circles around a loping monkey who’ll take long slow dives at you like a showjumping horse. They’ll most likely charge in real fast closing the distance, hold up just out of range and check you out for a few seconds, then leap at your face grabbing onto anything they can get their hands on. I’d say it would be a matter of under 30 seconds before you had to deal with a screaming 100-lb baboon clawing your eyes, biting your neck, and holding on with 3 other appendages. Again, think of a baboon as a german shepard with the habits and agility of a monkey. I know I’m not gonna outrun or dodge a police dog chasing me down.
Lastly any wild baboon that old will have spent the past 18 years defending it’s self unarmed in real life and death struggles with very nasty cats and other baboons. It won’t panic, it will know how to handle it’s self. Most humans simply never get that kind of experience. And any that do will look for a weapon first so what percentage would really have a clue what to do with empty hands standing buck naked in a field when a huge set of teeth attached to an animal they’ve certainly never fought before are lunging for their faces?
As I asked earlier, if the question is “is it possible?”, the answer is YES. Just about anything CAN happen. A 6 year-old girl could kill an adult elephant given the right circumstances and coincidental chain of events. If the question is “Is it likely?”, the answer is no. Most humans would lose that fight pretty fast.
Good one.
What I want to know is, is Zerc’s “cooldrink” a colloquialism or a typo. I’ve repeated it here a couple times, but nobody’s commented.
Whadduo, Zerc?
I kinda remember that baboons and chimps are often buddies. Might want to consider that before you go trying to roundhouse kick one.
Really, though, part of delivering an effective roundhouse is feinting, confusing your opponent. Might not work on a baboon who doesn’t know the rules. You’d be in a pretty delicate position half way through a kick with a three foot tall critter under your knee.
I’ll try. I’ll try anything once. I’m 99.9999% certain that I won’t twist it apart, but I have no problem giving it a try.
I guess cooldrink is a colloquialism. It’s what we tend to call a drink that is cool (as in cold not ‘kewl’) here in South Africa. It can range from carbonated drinks such as Coca-Cola, Sprite or Pepsi to fruit juices. It doesn’t refer to an alchoholic drink though.
Thanks, Zerc I really do learn something every day.
Cool story about the baboon. I’m sure it’s funny to you now. Too bad you didn’t get it on video.
Anyone ever taken a baboon into a judo ring?
The more interesting question, I think, is whether a world-class martial artist could win this fight. Because there’s no question that a human’s physique is a major disadvantage in the fight; the question is whether the human brain can overcome this disadvantage.
As a follow-up question, what’s the most dangerous animal that any human has killed barehanded?
Daniel