I’m not sure if this is exactly a factual question. But I’d like to know the facts on whether my symptoms (if they can even be called “symptoms”) correspond to what one would expect from some form of ADD, or some other known disorder. Moderators please feel free to move it to wherever it belongs (not that you needed my permission.)
OK, here’s my situation: I’m a 23-year-old grad student. I have (and have always had) a great deal of difficulty concentrating on anything I find boring. I mean, more so than most people, I think. If I’m doing something that’s repetitive or not very mentally demanding, my mind seems to wander uncontrollably. I either get lost in some daydream or start to wonder about all sorts of questions that have nothing to do with what I’m doing. On the other hand, if I find something really interesting, I can become so engrossed in it that I don’t even notice how much time is passing. I have a really bad sense of the passage of time in general. This causes me problems, because I’ll try to take a five minute break from some boring task I need to do, and I’ll start reading or writing something (often on the Internet) and sometime later I’ll glance at a clock and notice that over an hour has gone by. Even if I notice I’m using more time than I meant to, it’s hard for me to pull myself away from something once I’m interested in it because I just can’t make myself stop thinking about it, even if I’m doing something else.
I don’t know much about ADD, but given that my problem involves not being able to focus my concentration where I want it to go, you can probably see why the possibility occured to me. However: I was never particularly hyperactive as a child. Also, I never had any problem with school – actually, I did sensationally in school. I was at the top of my high school class, and was the top student in my major at college (in the sense of having the highest GPA). However, I think the work took me at least three times as long to complete (both in high school and college) as it did for most of the students. The only reasons I can see that I did so well are (1) I’m an obsessive perfectionist, so I would be willing to go several days with little or no sleep if it was necessary to finish an assignment (and I’m better at working when sleep deprived than most people are), and (2) Arrogant as this sounds I think I was probably just smarter than most of the other students, so when I did finally get the work done my understanding of it was better than most. However, now that I am in grad school I am finding that everyone here is very smart and I can’t get by on that alone – plus I am starting to worry that I could be damaging my health in other ways by not getting enough sleep.
So what I’m wondering is – do these resemble the symptoms of a treatable medical condition? Or even an untreatable one – it’d still be nice to know.
By the way – it took me 50 minutes to write this. It felt like it took 10. So there’s that poor sense of the passage of time again.
Oh, and I do realize that this question is probably best asked of a doctor, but given that I’m not even remotely sure that this is a medical problem at all (my “symptoms” could just be personality traits), I’m hoping to at least get some idea whether a trip to the doc’s office is even worth it. Plus, I don’t even know what kind of doctor I’d want to talk to – a general practitioner? A psychiatrist? Some other kind of specialist?
To be diagnosed with adult ADD, you not only have to have the symptoms of ADD, but they also have to have a negative effect on your life. Similar to alcoholism, you’re not an alcoholic because you drink, you’re an alcoholic because you drink despite the negative consequences. So the fact that you’re a grad student, and obviously can concentrate well enough to finish a batchelors degree, it doesn’t seem to me that you have ADD.
however, everything I know about adult ADD I learned from watching good morning america, for what its worth…
Inability to focus on many things (with a paradoxical compulsion to focus too closely on some things), combined with compulsive perfectionism, are consistent with a diagnosis of ADD.
However, as The Cat points out, to be diagnosed with ADD, one must display a whole range of symptoms and they must interfere with daily life, generally in more than one area. (For example, if you suffered these conditions at school, but had no probles at home and at work, you would not generally be considered to be suffering ADD.)
As you have already noted, the only way to get a true diagnosis is to consult with a qualified medical practitioner.
Since I cannot see that we can give a more factual answer than has already been submitted, I’m going to move this over to IMHO to see what those folks think.
As far as setting, I’d say I have concentration difficulties everywhere – I mean, both when I’m working at home or in my office and when I’m sitting in lecture classes. (It doesn’t help that I have a lot of professors whose lecture style is just to write a lot of stuff on the board and let us copy it – or perhaps it just seems like that because I can’t focus on what they’re saying when I’m trying to concentrate on the writing.)
As far as whether it interferes with daily life, I guess it depends on what counts as interference. I mean, I’ve continued to succeed in school in spite of my difficulties, but they’ve made it a lot harder than it otherwise would have been. They’ve also caused me to get a lot less sleep and made it hard to exercise regularly, because I’m spending so much time trying to get my work done. And I think that now that I’m in grad school and the work is harder (and there isn’t as much of a curve) it may be affecting my grades too – although I’m still doing well, just not as well as I think I would be doing if I could work more efficiently.
More than anything, I just tend to feel very frustrated with myself. As I said I’m a perfectionist, and I really get mad at myself for not being able to force myself to concentrate and get my work done quickly, no matter how much I want to. I mean, there’ve definitely been a lot of times where I’ve been making A’s and still feeling like a failure because I’ve not been able to follow through on my pledges to focus more and quit wasting time.
Until recently, it never even occured to me that it could be something like ADD, because I always made such good grades. It’s possible I’m just telling myself it’s that, because I really don’t want to keep feeling that it’s my fault and beating myself up for having no willpower. (Although if I were really so weak-willed you’d think I’d just give up on my work, rather than working myself to exhaustion in order to get it done.)
Also, I feel frustrated that I can’t talk to any of my friends about my problems – most of them are in the same classes, and if I told them how long the work takes me they’d think I was crazy. It would really be nice to be able to say something simple like “I have ADD” rather than “I just have a ridiculously hard time concentrating on things, and get preoccupied with all the wrong things, and so things that shouldn’t take me that long end up taking forever.” This whole thought that maybe I have a medical problem was first planted in my mind when I was pouring my heart out to my mother about how frustrating it is that no one around me knows how hard things are for me (I’m normally not so whiny, but I hadn’t slept in two days) and she said “It sure would be nice if there were a word for your problem.” (My mom knows I have a problem – whether medical or not – because she saw what high school was like for me.)
If you just need a place to start, there are free tests you can take online that might give you an idea of whether or not you should pursue medical assistance in the matter. I think there’s one at adultadd.com.
First let me say that I am not a professional in this area but I certainly recognize your symptoms as your described them from a parents perspective. I have a daughter almost 22 that has ADD and dyslexia. She is very intelligent and a perfectionist too. In high school graduated with honors and now in college she has a 4.0 in her major. She was diagnosed with dyslexia in middle school, so the extended length of time to complete an assignment was expected. She was and is not a slacker at all and as a matter of fact probably works harder than her peers could ever dream of. So with that said, if I had known that her LD was coupled with ADD her life could have been made easier a long time ago. (of course, hindsight is 20/20) Once properly diagnosed, out of high school, she now takes medicine to help with concentration issues. Over the last two years, my daughter has finally found the right combination of medicine to help her. Everyone is different and that’s why you should seek medical assistance.
You should not have to continue to work sooo hard. Even if it is your nature your body is getting a workout like no other and most people will not understand unless they have “been there done that.” So yes, there is assistance out there that will help you. As the Othersider mentioned, visit the ADD site. Also visit WebMD and look to making an appointment with a qualified specialist in this field. You will not believe the difference in your life.
Good Luck to you from a parent that has “been there done that.” OBTW, ADD is a medical issue and not just a personality trait. Good Luck to you.
If you’re up to it, check out the Great Debates thread right now titled “Why do we give such credence to metaphorical diseases like ADD, OCD, etc.” - there is a lot of opinion and (naturally) disagreement there, but post #132 on page 3 by Cillasi is one of the best descriptions of what ADD “feels” like that I’ve ever read. If it resonates for you, it sure wouldn’t be a bad idea to see a doctor.
There are a lot of reasons that you may be having trouble with focusing and time management, and not all of them are ADD-related. You may simply be a perfectionist who is coming to terms with the fact that being smart isn’t enough - if things came very easily to you in school before and you never HAD to study, you could simply be lacking in the study skills that other people have already had to develop.
