Could I legally sell "indulgences" for the afterlife?

[Ranchoth]

…Not that I’d neccessarily want to, you understand.

We all know how of the Catholic church’s historical selling of “indulgences” for absolution of sins/lessened time in purgatory.

Now, I’m left to wonder…could I, a non-religious, non-churchgoing 21st century American, legally sell such indulgences to people?

Even if I don’t falsely claim to be affiliated or sanctioned by a church…or even that I have any sort of “spiritual” authority to sell them?

Ranchoth

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

HELL YES!

Set up a website, & take Visa.

PayPal at first, of course.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Of course. Even the FTC could never prove that you were practicing false advertising…

[friedo]

Scientology has been doing it for decades.

[JRDelirious]

Y’know, the Get Out Of Hell Free cards have been going strong for a few years now. So sure, go ahead. Even better if you DON’T claim to actually deliver.

[Gorsnak]

I dunno about not claiming to deliver. I’m thinking boast about a full money-back guarantee.

If you die and end up in hell, simply send a self-addressed envelope to Ranchoth Indulgences Inc for a full refund! There’s no risk!

[JRDelirious]

Hah. Bob Dobbs promises Eternal Life or TRIPLE your money back…

[hammerbach]

As Heinlein wrote, "Intangibles are the most honest merchandise anyone can sell. They are always worth whatever you are willing to pay for them and they never wear out. You can take them to your grave untarnished. "

[hammerbach]

Of course, what they’re worth after you take them to your grave is anybody’s guess…

[Truth_Seeker]

This reminds me of something I read somewhere. It was a joke, I think.

The idea was that you give this “investment company” a pile of money to keep in an interest-bearing account. In return, the company gives you a secret account number and password. Then you die. Well, maybe not right away, but eventually, anyway.

After you are reincarnated, you get yourself hypnotized and regressed to your past life. You can then recall the account number and password you were given which you can use to reclaim the proceeds of your previous-life investment from the company. The compound interest will have added up and you can live your new life in luxury. Sort of life-after-death insurance.

What really, err, killed me was the slogan, “The longer you’re gone, the more you’ll have when you come back.”

As I said, this was supposed to be a joke but now that I think about it . . .

[SkyBum]

I didn’t think indulgences were allowed in the afterlife…

[Derleth]

I think you’ll wake up one morning after all 95 Theses have nailed you.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Issue them a fancy scroll for their money. With seals & ribbons & shit.

[moriah]

Quotes from the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

1471. “The doctrine and practice of INDULGENCES in the Church are closely linked to the effects of the sacrament of Penance.
      ‘An indulgence is a remission before God of the temporal punishment due to sins whose guilt has already been forgiven, which the faithful Christian who is duly disposed gains under certain prescribed conditions through the action of the Church which, as the minister of redemption, dispenses and applies with authority the treasury of the satisfactions of Christ and the saints.’[Paul VI, apostolic constitution, Indulgentiarum doctrina, Norm 1.]
      ‘An indulgence is partial or plenary according as it removes either part or all of the temporal punishment due to sin.’[Indulgentiarum doctrina, Norm 2; Cf. Norm 3.] INDULGENCES may be applied to the living or the dead.”

Plain language: You sinned and you should be punished. Now, God forgives when you ask, but you still need to be punished – out of divine justice, of course. If you don’t suffer enough because of your sins while here on earth, you’ll have to make up through suffering temporarily in purgatory in the afterlife on your way to heaven. Indulgences are practices and disciplines which reduce or take away completely (partial or plenary remission of temporal punishment) the penalties coming to you. You can also do these practices and apply the ‘indulgence’ to other people, living or dead (in purgatory).

2121. “SIMONY is defined as the buying or selling of spiritual things.[Cf. Acts 8:9-24 .] To Simon the magician, who wanted to buy the spiritual power he saw at work in the apostles, St. Peter responded: ‘Your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain God’s gift with money!’[Acts 8:20 .] Peter thus held to the words of Jesus: ‘You received without pay, give without pay.’[Mt 10:8 ; cf. already Isa 55:1 .] It is impossible to appropriate to oneself spiritual goods and behave toward them as their owner or master, for they have their source in God. One can receive them only from him, without payment.”

Plain language: God gives grace freely. If you try to profit off of that, he’s gonna get you. ‘Simony’ is the name of profiting off of grace. Since indulgences are graces (i.e., literally free gifts) from God, selling them would be Simony, an objective evil.

The problem is that some indulgences involved almsgiving, which is supposed to be giving money to the poor. It evolved to also donating to the Church in order to support the work of the Church which is to help the poor. Unfortunately, the system got abused in the middle ages as almsgiving indulgences to the Church were used for grand building projects and lining the pockets of grafting clergy. This was seen (and rightly so in many cases) as Simony.

1972. “The New Law is called a law of love because it makes us act out of the love infused by the Holy Spirit, rather than from fear; a law of GRACE, because it confers the strength of GRACE to act, by means of faith and the sacraments; a law of freedom, because it sets us FREE from the ritual and juridical observances of the Old Law, inclines us to act spontaneously by the prompting of charity and, finally, lets us pass from the condition of a servant who ‘does not know what his master is doing’ to that of a friend of Christ - ‘For all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you’ - or even to the status of son and heir.[Jn 15:15 ; cf. Jam 1:25 ; Jam 2:12 ; Gal 4:1-7 .21-31; Rom 8:15 .]”

1973. “Our justification comes from the GRACE of God. GRACE is favor, the FREE and undeserved help that God gives us to respond to his call to become children of God, adoptive sons, partakers of the divine nature and of eternal life.[Cf. Jn 1:12-18 ; Jn 17:3 ; Rom 8:14-17 ; 2Pet 1:3-4.]”

Plain language: We’ve got cognitive dissonance between the medieval idea that we still need to get punished for our sins, even the forgiven ones and the teaching of free grace, which includes free forgiveness of sins. (Not to mention the numerous Gospel passages where Jesus forgives and assures salvation without requiring one to ‘do the time’ of being punished for sins.)

Needless to say, indulgences in the Church are played down and are only the concern of hard core conservative Catholics.

From the Code of Canon Law.

Can. 992 An indulgence is the remission in the sight of God of the temporal punishment due for sins, the guilt of which has already been forgiven. A member of Christ’s faithful who is properly disposed and who fulfils certain specific conditions, may gain an indulgence by the help of the Church which, as the minister of redemption, authoritatively dispenses and applies the treasury of the merits of Christ and the Saints.

Can. 993 An indulgence is partial or plenary according as it partially or wholly frees a person from the temporal punishment due for sins.

Can. 994 All members of the faithful can gain indulgences, partial or plenary, for themselves, or they can apply them by way of suffrage to the dead.

Can. 995 §1 Apart from the supreme authority in the Church, only those can grant indulgences to whom this power is either acknowledged in the law, or given by the Roman Pontiff.

§2 No authority below the Roman Pontiff can give to others the faculty of granting indulgences, unless this authority has been expressly given to the person by the Apostolic See.

Can. 996 §1 To be capable of gaining indulgences a person must be baptised, not excommunicated, and in the state of grace at least on the completion of the prescribed work.

§2 To gain them, however, the person who is capable must have at least the intention of gaining them, and must fulfil the prescribed works at the time and in the manner determined by the terms of the grant.

Can. 997 As far as the granting and the use of indulgences is concerned, the other provisions contained in the special laws of the Church must also be observed.

So, WRT to the OP: Not only can’t you sell indulgences within the RCC (if you do there are penalties for doing so), but unless you’ve been specifically given the power, you can’t even give 'em out for free.
Peace.

My goal is to have a sin named after me.