Erin Brockovich- my husband is watching it. I’m desparately trying not to. Could it BE ANY SLOWER or MORE boring? Could they show any more of Julia Roberts boobs? Do I care if the people get thier money? NO!! Go away, Erin Brockovich!
So, what movie did YOU hate this week?
Zette
Pitch Black.
Not that it was bad, just not what I was expecting. I wanted creepy crawlies in the night with a high terror factor, but got a serial killer instead.
!!! SPOILER AHEAD !!!
Hubby tells me the creepy crawlies do come out finally and the serial killer turns out to be the good guy, but I didn’t make it that far.
Answer to the subject line - hell yes!
Meet Joe Black is so slow and long, it makes E.B. feel like Terminator 2 (or whatever movie you think exemplifies excitement).
The movie I currently wish I could blot from my mind is Scary Movie. OK, it wasn’t too terrible, and had one or two laughs, but the worst thing about it was the idiotic mother sitting in front of us who had brought her (maybe) five year old daughter along to see it, and didn’t walk out when it became very obvious not only was it far too ‘adult’ (sorry for using such a misleading term, but you know what I mean 
), but that without having seen the movies it was ‘taking off’, it made no sense at all.
HenrySpencer
I just watched Patch Adams for the first time. I’m a very tolerant moviegoer in general, but I was fighting with all my might to keep myself from just turning it off. The final pseudo-courtroom scene in particular took forever going nowhere and insulting my intelligence.
If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go twitch for a while now.
I had to sit through that on a plane ride once. Just because a flight from Osaka to Minneapolis doesn’t seem quite long enough on its own. Do they screen these movies before showing them?
The Good Son. The most annoying movie ever. I would swear profusely but, alas, this isn’t The Pit. Blah, blah, he’s evil. Geez, kill him already! I don’t care if Elijah Wood was in it and was probably the best child actor since Haley Joel Osmond (sp?), but that movie was slower than, um, month old toddlers hiking uphill. Or something else very slow.
The English Patient.
Where the Heart is. It was shown on my flight out to the West coast and, for some evil reason, also on the way back. It may have been called a “feel good” movie but all it made me feel was anger and hostility.
Actually, you might say that Haley is the best child actor since Elijah. As for my recent hated movies, Okinawa Rendezvous set a new record for boredom… I got impatient during the very first scene. No kidding.
Eye of the Beholder bored the shit out of me. The entire movie went nowhere, resolved nothing, and when the credits rolled I sat there and went huh? It wasn’t even a fun ride:(
My vote is for Safe (1995), starring Julianne Moore.
It was supposed to be a thoughtful study of a woman who may or may not be succombing to an enviromental illness.
Instead, we get one long, tedious shot after another of Julianne sitting on the couch, Julianne sitting next to the pool, Julianne coughing up a lung in a parking garage. I am actually a big fan of setting up the camera somewhere and just watching what happens, you know, very non-manipulative with little editing.
But Jesus Christ!! Something actually has to freakin’ happen within the frame! Yes, Julianne Moore walks into the room and sits down on the couch. Okay, she’s troubled, she’s pensive, what will she do? Fine. I get it. I don’t need 90 damn continuous seconds of her sitting there with a blank look on her face. Are you trying to put me to sleep?
You had a story that could have been an afterschool special. Or a nice little festival short. You tried to make it a feature. It sucked. The end.
Not to beat a dead horse, but…
We’ve found Titanic to be a much more entertaining flick if you throw away the 1st cassette (or at least everything but the last 5 minutes) and watch only the second one.
After seeing Orlando, my mother and I coined a term for this phenomenon: Too much face. If you want to convey the intricacies of the character’s inner turmoil, focusing on the actor’s face for more than a few seconds is not the way to do it, no matter how trouble/pensive/confused their facial expression.
And I must second the nomination of The English Patient. I still have no idea why anyone thought it was good.
Any Given Sunday ran the length of an NFL football game, with commercial breaks, halftime show, and probably about 5 overtimes. Except it lacked most of the action.
Here’s how it went :
Footbal scenes, great – imaginary league with funny uniforms that they don’t change when on the road, okay. New young quarterback gets lucky break, plays well, defies coach, okay. Coach has conflicts with players, owner, because he’s old. HOLD ON! STOP THE ACTION! OLIVER STONE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY! “There’s no ‘I’ in team! Let’s play football like we used to! I’m goint to keep preaching until you hear me! That’s right, for the next hour nothing whatsoever will move the plot along!” Okay, back to some football. Not that anyone cares anymore …
JFK was the most interminable piece of crap I’ve ever paid money to watch. Aside from the highly questionable theories of why Kennedy was assassinated (and Stone trotted out every theory you could imagine), Kevin Costner delivered another dull, deadpan performance (Costner has got to be the most overrated actor in the history of cinema). By the end of the movie I was almost envious of Kennedy; at least he didn’t have to sit through this movie.
Well, the OP restricted it to this week, but I will extend it out to the beginning of the month.
October has actually been a good movie month for me. So far this month I have watched:
Permanent Midnight (1998)
Didn’t like it. Not much actual story other than “boy am I messed up”.
Stuart Little (1999)
Cute, but slept through half the climax. Decent extras on the DVD.
The Minus Man (1999)
Confusing but thought provoking. Great trailer.
Meet the Parents (2000)
Hilarious. As you can see from the list so far, my netflix queue is going through the Owen Wilson section (The Haunting was back in September and Bottle Rocket is on its way).
Stalag 17 (1953)
Very good.
High Fidelity (2000)
Very good, even if I don’t like music.
The Hitman (1998)
A decent Jet Li action flick (he actually acts a bit).
The Great Escape (1963)
Just incredible. Why do I like James Garner so much?