For example: Just Duet. “Ooh! I know! Let’s make a movie about karaoke! Everyone loves karaoke! We’ll bring in an aging rock star to sing with some PYT that can carry a tune…I know! Huey Lewis! and…Gwyneth Paltrow!”
That movie has “SUCK” written all over it.
Others?
Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000 As if the world needed another Dracula remake. As if the world needed another Wes Craven film (sorry folks, but he sold out the entire horror genre years ago). Now add “pop-superstar” Vitamin-C, underachiever of the century Omar Epps, Star Trek franchise-killer Jeri Ryan, and aging also-ran Christopher Plummer and you have yourself the formula for one of the worst films yet in 2000.
Bring It On
I knew it would suck. I knew the dialogue would be cheesy. I knew Dunst and Bashku would be ashamed.
That being said, the guy who plays the choreographer is FUCKING FUNNY. Worth paying the money to see his 10 minutes. Christ, what a classic scene.
I didn’t even have the benefit of having a cheerleader fetish…
I blame the whole experience on the love of my life…
Then again, I just enjoyed the experience of Jack Frost
JosephFinn, you beat me to it. 
But, some other movies that I know are going to suck;
Jason X: Friday the 13th Part 10: Is there anyway this one couldn’t suck? I’ve seen the production pictures and checked out the official web page. It’s Jason in space, for crying out loud! It didn’t work with Leprechaun 3, it isn’t going to work now.
H2K: Evil Never Dies: Okay, I enjoy horror movies. Halloween started the slasher movies, and the series is somewhat enjoyable. Though it gets pretty bad near the end. But Halloween 8?!? It looked like Myers was pretty far gone when Jamie Lee Curtis cut his head off in 7. But, like any horror series, he’s coming back. This time two detectives are trying to find him, because Curtis’s character has been killed at the beginning of the film (by Myer? maybe). sigh
The new Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie All American Massacre though that will definitely suck. Did you see Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation? 'Nuff said.
I just saw ‘Highlander: Endgame’. I knew it was going to suck.
I just didn’t know how bad. Awful, awful,awful.
Anybody remember GI Jane? Alien: Resurrection? Titanic? Blair Witch Project? All movies I knew would suck 'fore they came out… and three of which I had an opportunity to go see, for free, with someone else offering to drive, and I declined 'cuz I knew it would suck (ten SPOOFE points to whoever can guess which three!).
I saw the trailer for “Bring It On” in the theater, and I just knew it would suck. Because it seemed to be so overwhelmingly formulaic, I e-mailed Roger Ebert with my best guess as to the ending. I was wrong, but at least I got an e-mail from the man himself telling me so.
I also saw the suckiness of “Coyote Ugly” coming from a bazillion miles away.
Pardon me while I go into Lewis Black mode for a minute here. Movies I just know are going to suck? ALL OF THEM! Have you seen the crap they’re making this year? I thought nothing could be worse than Supernova. Then I saw commercials for Big Momma’s House. I thought nothing could be worse than Big Momma’s House. Then I saw commercials for Nutty Professor II: The Klumps! What’s coming up next?
Nurse Betty: Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock in a road picture? What random number generator came up with this bit of dream-casting?
The Watcher: Keanu as an emotionless serial killer? Shouldn’t be any worse than Keanu as an emotionless virtual reality chosen one or Keanu as an emotionless Shakespearean Spaniard or Keanu as an emotionless businessman who sells his soul to the devil…
The Way of the Gun: Why must they continue making this movie?! They’ve been making it four times a year since 1994! And they just keep getting worse! Remember Out of Sight? Remember The Big Hit? Neither do I!
Urban Legends: The Final Cut: Grrr, so it’s a horror movie about something going horribly wrong with the filming of a horror movie based on a previous horror movie!
Remember the Titans: In Hollywood these days every movie has an inferior copycat version that comes out the same year. But why, oh, why must Any Given Sunday have one?!
The Crow: Salvation: He’s dead. Give it up!
Digimon: The Movie: Gotta rip 'em off, gotta rip 'em off!
Get Carter: Starring Sylvester Stallone and Michael Caine! Just shoot me now!
Blair Witch 2: I could get a better movie by accidentally leaving my camcorder outside overnight!
Charlie’s Angels: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
How the Grinch Stole Christmas: Starring Jim Carrey! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Rugrats in Paris: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
102 Dalmatians: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
<NO CARRIER>
I’ve discovered the simplest way to determine if a movie is going to suck is by looking at the trailers. If the names of the people on the soundtrack get more prominence than anyone else, it’s a sure sign of a bad movie.
AMEN!
Let me be the first to mention Battlefield Earth.
Can’t be THAT bad I thought. Well, it was and then some.
If Keanu Reeves is, in any way, associated with the film, or has ever been associated with anyone who is remotely associated with the film, I know that it will be be just plain bad. It will reach the epitome of suck. The device has yet to be invented that can truly measure how bad he and his movies are.
EnochF, nice run down on the dreck coming this fall. But I gotta disagree with you on Nurse Betty. I think this movie is going to suprise a lot of people. It’s directed by Neil LaBute and every review I’ve heard has just creamed over it.
But as for the rest. Yikes.
Mike
(Who’s also looking forward to Little Nicky, so take my opinions with a grain of salt)
Autumn in New York
I hate everything about this movie, and I’ve never even seen it. I hate the cheesy commercials they had playing every two minutes on every TV station. I hate Winona Ryder’s cutesy, coy delivery of every line. I hate that Richard Gere gets paired with younger women in every movie he’s in. I hate that you know she’s going to die before you even pay the price of admission.
I think I hate this movie more than any other movie I’ve never seen.
[pointless hijack]
Digimon: The Movie: Gotta rip 'em off, gotta rip 'em off!
Things you find out when you spend a weekend associating with six children under 12 and their parents: Digimon debuted in Japan several years before Pokemon.
[/pointless hijack]
I’ll agree that this year has been pretty dismal, especially compared to last year, but I do think that *Chicken Run * alone has made this year worthwhile.
It sounds good to me, but I’m also a big fan of Neil Labute so I have to say that this is one I’m looking forward to.
[hijack]
[Waves hand] I do I do! I thought it was one of the best movies of 1998. I was shocked, because I didn’t expect that much from a George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez movie, but amazingly, they both found the perfect parts with the perfect script and the perfect director, and rose to the occasion. Being based on an Elmore Leonard novel helped, as did the supporting cast of Ving Rhames, Steve Zahn, Don Cheadle, Dennis Farina, Albert Brooks, Catherine Keener, Michael Keaton, Luis Guzman, Nancy Allen and Samuel L. Jackson (among others).
[/highjack]
All taken from The Hollywood Stock Exchange website.
Grease 3: Rumors abound that Britney Spears may join someone from 'NSYNC to play in another installment of Grease. The story for part three would focus on the lives of the children of the characters originally played by Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta…
Dirty Dancing 2: Pop sensation Ricky Martin and Star Wars heroine Natalie Portman are being considered to star in the sequel of the mega-hit Dirty Dancing…The new version – set in hot and trendy South Beach – will have a Latin twist…
Dumb and Dumber 2: The sequel to the 1994 comedy Dumb and Dumber. It is rumored that this will be a prequel to the earlier movie and will feature the misadventures of teenagers Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne.
(Screenwriters: Trey Parker and Matt Stone, creators of South Park)
I’m sure I’ll find more later.
Ouch! I actually consider her as saving Voyager. Not only is she eye-candy, but she is also the only interesting character left.
Even though I am not influenced by critics’ opinions, any movie that isn’t screened for critics will usually suck on toast. See the Richard Gere/Wynonna Ryder flick.
Of course she’s the only interesting character left. SHE’S BOINKING THE DAMN PRODUCER!!! Not that I really imagine the writers are in there pitching great Chakotay episodes or anything, but come on. Add to that the fact that she can’t even sell the friggin’ Rock Bottom right (‘Jerri, after he drops you just lie there like a slug for a few seconds’).
Any episode where Se7en is the main character could, with a few minor tweaks, be either a Doctor episode, a Torres episode, or (for some of the “Janeway is wrong” episodes) a Chakotay episode.