First off, gobear, I think you’re a generally swell guy, and I suspect I’m not in a minority there. Also, your revelation about chronic depression is… well, I’m not exactly shocked over here.
Anyway, that’s all beside the point. What I’m wondering is, what exactly is the difference between asking someone, “Are you off your meds?” and asking someone “Are you fucking insane?” It seems these are just variations on a theme. Are you uncomfortable with both of these phrases, or do you see some qualitative difference between the two?
I’m not a fan of those types of comments myself. Nor do I like “are you retarded” stuff, crap about going back and learning how to read, intentionally fucking w/someone’s user name etc. all of which, to me, have the same grade school quality about them ‘nanana boo boo, I’m rubber you’re glue’.
not that I claim to have never done any of the above, just that generally I tend not to. I also don’t like the whole “liar” schtick, when what’s really meant is “I believe you’re factually mistaken”
I mean really, if that’s the best you can come up w/ to counter the other person’s points, aren’t you really admitting that yours isn’t as strong as you’d like?
For whatever it’s worth, I never saw any reason to dislike gobear. Still don’t.
However. I am getting thoroughly sick and tired of the “mind what you say because someone may be offended or hurt” school of political correctness. I do not condone calling anyone names, or deliberately hurting someone’s feelings. If I tell you, “You know, I think you’re a loony-tune” it is NOT intended to be a comment on your actual mental health.
I know some people here are friends, and know one another well, but the majority of us are total strangers to one another. If you’re going to take offense at something that has no real power to harm you, or at someone whose opinion will actually make no real difference in your life, you need to grow a thicker skin*.
(*Apologies ahead of time to the collagen-deficient.)
Again, I have no wish to dictate speech or to hurt anyone’s feelings. It just seemed to me that the stigma that people with profound mental illness have (and I talk to people who really can’t function every day) needs to be addressed.
Folks here would never mock people with cancer, or with AIDS, yet it seems okay to mock people with crippling mental illness. I know Clipper say he is not bothered by the “Take your meds” comments, but I talk to people every day who are hurt by comments like that.
And I’m going to be nicer to Lissener. He has a lot of hate in him, and maybe if we could be friends, that might change. We will all be changed, in the twinkling of an eye.
For what it’s worth, if somebody (1) posts like a lunatic; and (2) shits all over me in the process; I feel ok about saying “go take your meds!!” (In the Pit of course). I don’t see why I should be particularly concerned with the feelings of somebody who is launching inappropriate attacks on me.
But again, I’d have to think that most of the time when people use the phrase they have no idea if the recipient is taking any medication. In those cases, anyway, they’re not mocking anyone’s mental illness but rather their behavior, employing hyperbole to get their point across (“I think you’re acting weird”).
I’m on meds and I’m bisexual and I’ve spent my whole life watching my dad do a whole lot of work in special education.
I’ve been known to say “up your dosage” and “dude, that is SO GAY” and and call my friends “'Tard.”
Then again, perhaps I’m just an insensitive clod. Wait - no “perhaps” on that, really. But when words or phrases are used in obvious jest and without actual hate, I just can’t be offended by them.
There are exceptions which should be obvious, I suppose. Jokes which are intended to put someone from one of those groups in a bad light piss me off, for example. But saying “people who are bipolar are fucking freakish insane shits” is one thing; saying “godDAMN, a Xanex would do you good” is not. Saying “AIDS is God’s punishment against those sick fucking faggots” is one thing; saying “Omigod, that Humvee with the flames painted on the sides is SO GAY” is another.
I’m also concerned by the implication that any weird or unpleasant ideas are necessarily the result of illness, and should be responded to with psychoactive medication.
As Otto so wonderfully pointed out in an earlier post…how about just because it’s rude?
If you are truly worried about someone and their medication, why not take it off board and email them privately? Why post it out in the open for all to see? There have been several instances lately where I had no idea a poster took medication and I wouldn’t have unless someone pointed it out by suggesting they needed to “go take their meds”.
And gobear, next to my beloved Sauron you are my most favorite poster here. I definitely don’t always agree with you and sometimes I think you get so hung up on your own opinion that you block out things others are trying to tell you but I truly admire your knowledge and respect you tremendously.
Well, I thought I’d get flamed, and I was right. It was stupid of me to think I had anything worthwhile to contribute or that mental illness stigma was a subject worthy of discussion. Thank you to the posters who offered kind, although deeply undeserved, comments. I apologize for wasting your time.
Folks, it’s simple courtesy: If someone politely says “The phrase you’re using bothers me; please don’t use that phrase,” it’s common courtesy to attempt not to use the phrase. Unless you’re one of the Knights Who Say “Ni,” and you can’t stand one of the most common words in the English language.
And lissener, I’m having a difficult time understanding your position on this. You admit that you’ve been deeply offended by someone using this very tactic on you during an argument, and yet you mock gobear for suggesting people not use this tactic?
It’s possible for someone you don’t like to still be right, you know.
gobear…I think your point was a valid one regardless of who posted otherwise.
This subject touches you deeply because of the work you are doing currently. I used to work with Alzheimer’s patients and I quickly gained a whole new respect for elderly people and I cringe whenever I think someone is being belittled or hurt due to their being old.
It IS a suject worthy of discussion and you have not wasted anyone’s time.
[aside] Are you okay? How is your sister doing? [aside]
gobear: I agree with the premise of your thread. However, your last post (which snuck in while mine was attempting to load, apparently) is definitely eyeroll-worthy.
Sauron, this is isn’t self-pity. This why I should not have admitted that I have chronic depression or expressed my feelings because people think that it’s just a mood or self-pity. It’s a defect of brain chemistry that can’t just be willed away or be reasoned out of. Here is some information. I know this is temporary and that it will lift, but during an episode, I feel like I’m at the bottom of a very black well.
Aries28: My sister finally went to see a specialist who said that the earlier diagnosis of cancer was wrong. Big sighs of relief because it runs in the family. Thank you for your concern.
