Could we stop the "take your meds" crap?

The BBQ Pit
81

gobear: There was only minimal “flaming,” and a lot of relatively good discussion generated. A lot of us here KNOW that depression and other mental illnessses are not a matter of “getting over it” or “cheering the fuck up” or any of that. I’m bipolar. It’s not very fuckin’ entertaining. A really good friend of mine has schizo-affective disorder and has been in and out of the hospital SEVERAL times and she’s not even 25 yet. This:

looks to have NOTHING to do with how the thread has gone, and speaks of very selective reading on your part. That seems out-of-character for you. This:

suggests that you may be in a downswing right now…and you cannot fault people for treating your post as though it was self-pitying, particularly when you have gone out of your way to keep your mental illness off of the board.

I can understand your feeling as though you have been “flamed” if you are in a downswing, but you also have to understand (and I’m sure, intellectually, you do) that while your illness may make you perceive flaming, it ain’t necessarily so.

For the most part, I think you’re a relatively good guy. I hope you read this in the completely NON-flaming spirit with which it was intended.

82

Well then duh, take your meds!

Seriously, gobear, maybe you’re getting yourself into a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy loop with this thread. You expect that you’ll be flamed, so you frame your posts in such a way as to invite flames, then get flamed and point to the flames and sat “see, told you I’d get flamed.”

83

Yeah. Being honest about crap like this is a really bad idea and I should have kept it to myself. Again, my apologies.

84

Well, what we have here is a failure to communicate. I really do take meds. If someone wants to joke about it, fine. Odds are they are crazier than I am.

85

Don’t worry about it, gobear. Those who know you from what you’ve said on here in the past (as opposed to knowing you offline) will know perfectly well that you’re a person to be admired, not slammed. Your worth as a person to this board is magnificent, no matter what your mental climate is like at the time.

I think most people here would prefer your usual honesty to any self-censorship; i.e. I don’t think anyone wants you to hold back on expressing yourself simply because you’re feeling down. That’s fair neither to you nor to those who appreciate your unexpurgated, considered thoughts.

86

Where the hell did I suggest all of the above.

If Gobear is often confused with riding the cross when he’s having an episode, perhaps he should wait a little bit, assuming he even cares.

87

No, being honest about crap like this is what nudges it the hell out of the closet, and gives more people the opportunity to see the many different forms mental illness can take, the many varieties of people who have them, and maybe get an idea of how they feel.

I still feel as though I need to “get the fuck over it,” and I feel like I’m weak, and lazy, and even though people around me have told me, “NO, hello, normal people don’t FEEL like you do…” I still feel as though the way I feel is because I am personally lacking in some kind of moral fiber.

I think you are a far more civil person than I, and probably more civilized, so it effects you more deeply when people criticize you - particularly for something which is out of your control. It rolls off of me, or I just bite back - but I think you take it more personally.

Just try to keep these things in mind, especially when someone hits a nerve. People just don’t know, and though their ignorance can actually hurt your feelings, you can try to make it a productive hurt - you know?

88

Where the hell did I suggest all of the above.

If Gobear is often confused with riding the cross when he’s having an episode, perhaps he should wait a little bit, assuming he even cares, if he doesn’t, then post away.

It is a suggestion not intended in a mean spirit.

89

World Eater, If it wasn’t meant in mean spirt, then I humbly apologize.

My basic point was, who hasn’t posted something when they should have stepped back and waited or taken a break?

If we asked everyone who posted when maybe they shouldn’t the boards would be a lot less crowded at times! :wink: (Espeically in the Pit where we are allowed to rant and rave if we need to).

90

Not a problem Aries, I think perhaps the problem should be met halfway.

Gobear needs to realize that he is a well respected poster and should feel comfortable about speaking up, no matter what the consequences. He may ruffle a few feathers, but he is a good guy, and we’ll respect is opinion. At the same time, if he is having a particularly rough day, perhaps it might be prudent for him to step away from the keyboard for a few minutes, as that might be what’s best for him.

91

Not a problem Aries, I think perhaps the problem should be met halfway.

Gobear needs to realize that he is a well respected poster and should feel comfortable about speaking up, no matter what the consequences. He may ruffle a few feathers, but he is a good guy, and we’ll respect his opinion. At the same time, if he is having a particularly rough day, perhaps it might be prudent for him to step away from the keyboard for a few minutes, as that might be what’s best for him.

92

** Oh, just wonderful.

Depression is not known to be a defect of brain chemistry, although it’s certainly possible that it’s a genuine neurological condition (and it’s a near-certainty in some cases).

It can’t be willed away or reasoned out of, but nor is it generally a physical condition that can only be properly treated biochemically.

There are diseases of brain chemistry that are well-understood, and they’re quite unlike depression.

You deserve compassion and understanding, and it shouldn’t be necessary for you to claim that you have a brain disorder for you to receive it.

93

While we’re being honest, there are a whole list of stressers that can really mess with people’s heads: death, prolonged illness of self or family, constant moving, losing your job, etc.

There are very few people that can handle lots of “stressers” in a row without experiencing some anxiety or depression. That is normal. Too many, and getting a prolonged depression is unfortunately normal also.

So, you can try to “get over it” or you can really do something about it (treatment) and then try to get over it.

94

I’ve spoken to gobear off board and he would like me to convey his apologies that this thread has taken the turn that it has.

He will be taking a short break from posting and/or reading the SDMB.

95

But can we still quote Prof. Jerry Hathaway and say,

“Up the voltage!”

96

I hope all is well, give him my best.

97

Can I get a whatever from the congregation?

Look people.

I am a forty-year old with an obscenely high IQ, and a highschool and college dropout. Of all the forces that direct my life, depression is the greatest. And though it was only clinically diagnosed in 1995, the symptoms that were diagnosed as major depression are symptom that have shaped my life (and my self) since I was five or six years old.

I have had utterly derailing, totally debilitating, and unbroken rounds of depression that have lasted as long as six years at a time.

My ex-mother (I have divorced my own family) is an alcholoic and borderline personality who should be on meds, but refuses to admit reality. Her mother is an undiagnosed depressive on a scale that terrify you. Two of my ex-sisters are depressive (one being treated for it, one not), and the third one is an untreated borderline. My ex-father is monumentally depressive, alcoholic, and sociopathically sadistic.

I have been on the very highest possible dosage of antidepressants, on and off, since 1995. I regularly lose jobs because of depressive behavior.

And still, from that perspective, I roll my eyes at gobear’s uncharacteristic PC bullshit. He is a solipsistic bully in most of his exchanges in these forums, and he long ago used up any slack he had with me, so I have no more slack to offer him.

My point is not to kick a man when he’s down (although frankly I’d enjoy these boards measurably more with him absent), but to point out the puerile hypocrisy in his request to retire the phrase “take your meds” because, unique among “non-PC” slams, gobear finds it objectionable.

In fact, what I’m really doing here, is filling gobear’s wonted role of anti-PC loudmouth telling people to get over themselves.

As a fellow human being, I hope he deals with whatever he needs to deal with, because as much as I’d enjoy his absence, I might even MORE enjoy a non-solipsistic, non-bullying gobear’s contribution to these boards.

98

I swear I perviewed.

  • (I have divorced my own entire family)
99

Help me out here, lissener.

You dislike gobear because of the way you perceive he acts on the boards. Now, you’re claiming that you’re acting like him.

You disagree with him vehemently on a request he has made, to stop using (or at least think before using) a particular phrase. You also admit that people (family members) have hurt you deeply by engaging in the very behavior he’s asking others to stop.

You seem to be in a position to understand the type of situation gobear currently faces, and yet you continue to deride him.

It sounds to me like you’d support this request had it come from almost anyone else, but because gobear is the one who brought it forward, you’re going to oppose it.

Not that it’ll mean a lot, but I’m losing some serious respect for you as a poster and as a person based on this thread.

100

lissener, there is an opportunity here. gobear has had a moving experience which has opened him up to compassion for a group he previously did not feel this for. The fact that this realization is at odds with his previous behavior could be a catalyst for change. Let’s see where he goes with it in the future and perhaps someday we can look back on the past where crude insults based on stigmas will be rightly recognized as a bad thing, both for gobear and others.

Enjoy,
Steven