How many times must I tell you not to bother me with facts?
I could totally adapt to it. It would be great not to worry about growing old.
I’d probably start buying stocks, time is on my side with investments. I’d plan on moving at least every 20 years or so to not arouse too much suspicion. It’s probably going to get harder and harder to fake identification documents, so I’ll need to keep my computer skills up to date.
The worst problem I’d have is finding a source of nourishment and resisting all the comely young virgins. 
A lot depends on more detail from the OP, so we’re a Buffyverse vampire, but do all the other strange things from the Buffyverse exist? And if they do, do they want to kill/eat me or whatever? If the supposition is that I’m unique and the one and only Vampire, then what I do changes a great deal than if there is a larger community of undead out there.
I’ll go with assuming I’m the only one, and that nobody knows that I’ve become the undead. So while I may expose myself in the future to some wanna-be vampire hunter, no devils or demonds will be showing up unannounced.
First thing is to get seed money. So break into someplace unobtrusive that has a lot of cash. I’ve been working on and off on a short story about a guy that robs Sea World, so I’d do something like that. Amusement parks can have $5million plus on busy holiday weekends when the armored cars don’t come. I’m strong, so that means I can lug all that heavy cash myself with no help. I take the cash and drive to a large city. Finding cash-only accomodations wouldn’t be that hard, so get a place to sleep during the day. Locate a midling successfull business man. There are people that fall into the “wealth” category that aren’t as obvious a target. Someone that owns several car dealerships or something like that. Visit said person in the middle of the night and explain that they can either welcome you as their new partner, or become dinner. Explain to this person that they are now going to help you convert this large pile of cash into holdings that you can move around with. Explain that there will be several other large cash infusions into your joint holdings in the future and that you new partner can look forward to keeping %50 of the new money as long as he does his part no questions asked. I’m sure that being immortal would give you a leg up in tracking down some drug dealers and relieving them of their assets and their lives. Once you have a nice comfortable chunck of money, set up a trust to manage it and figure out a way to give yourself access to it. With enough money getting a new identity every 25 years or so wouldn’t be an obsticle. Probably 5 to 10 years of “free-lance” appropriation would give you enough of a nest egg to live a life doing whatever you want and pursue whatever interests you wanted. Study, learn how to play instruments, paint, sculpt…that type of thing.
I thought about this. You can still die, it’s just harder. And if you’re careful, you’ll live FOREVER. This makes the prospect of dying even more worrying. You have so much to lose if you die.
I could see spending a century of so hiding from the world because it would be so scary to venture out.
I’m assuming that you’re in the Buffyverse but not in a demon-heavy town like Sunnydale or LA. When Aimee Mann appeared on the show, she chanced to see Buffy or someone dust a vamp and commented that she hates playing vampire towns; this implies that there are NON-vampire towns. I expect that in, say, Nashville or Phoenix, you could go your entire life without knowing about vamps & such.
That’s part of the reason I wouldn’t go after Buffy & Willow. They are both weirdness magnets. Though I’d exchange email addresses and send xmas cards in case I ever need Buffy to come save my ass.
I thought I’d share this with the rest of you, considering the topic
Vampires
By Doc Cathode
I feel sorry for vampires,
Think about it,
For most of us, you get through life and die
After that depending on who you ask you go to an afterlife
Or you get to forget about this life and reincarnate
Or maybe just lie there and become fertilizer
But vampires have to get up three days later
They get to other side and find out they can only stay three days,
Kind of like an HMO
Then when they wake up
They’ve got to dig their way out
I don’t even like walking to the curb for the paper in the morning,
And think about how hard it is to shop,
You can only buy things from stores that are open after dark,
Seven Eleven, serving all your vampire needs,
You have to cover up all your windows,
Who wants to tackle a project like that after they’ve just been dead three days?
Combing your hair without a reflection can’t be any fun,
What must it be like to live in fear of Italian food?
What about dating?
It’s got to be hard meeting other single vampires,
If you’re lucky enough to be single,
Your spouse becoming a vampire has got to be hard on a marriage,
I don’t think most vampires live in mansions or castles,
And wear expensive clothes
I figure they sit around in bathrobes and watch tv
While sucking the juice out of some ground chuck,
So the next time you see a vampire,
Put down that stake and holy water
And give him a hug instead,
He could probably use one
I’d go for being a vampire as outlined in the Preacher comic books. They’re like the Mary Sues of vampires - all pluses, hardly any cons.
- strength of fifty men
- immortal (maybe aging ten years per century, if you live a super-hard life)
- crosses, garlic, wooden stakes, holy water do dick - mirrors work just fine, thank you
- regenerate from severed limbs and head (with some sewing)
- Soak up gunfire, even headshots (does require some longer term regeneration)
- Able to enjoy normal human food, alcohol, drugs, and sex (this is a big one for any epicurean)
- Able to father children
- Able to tolerate shaded sunlight, but weakened and it feels itchy as hell
- Able to get enough blood through raw steaks (I practically do that now)
- Able to create other vampires through non-fatal bites, and the fatally bitten don’t turn into vampires (big plus)
- Full body exposure to direct sunlight equals a fiery explosive death
- no fangs (I’d prefer something semi-retractable)
- eyes might turn all red and haggard after a century of shooting heroin
- can’t morph into animals or fly (not a big deal with the strength of fifty men)
Who wouldn’t want to be one of these vampires!?
Where do you get this from? We meet, IIRC, a total of 3 vamps in Preacher
-Old whore of a thing in the lake
-Cassidy
-The ponce in New Orleans whose name I can’t remember.
None have kids or undergo a sperm test that I can recall.
BTW IMO Cassidy eyes are due solely to doing truly superhuman amounts of booze and hard drugs.
I might join the Church. I mean, why not? The demonic forces hauled off and wasted me, and then dragged me back to life. And people who eschew capital punishment can be expected to be nice to me. And I am living proof that lfie after death exists!
Issue 64. Here’s a couple panels. Knowing Cassidy’s backstory, he absolutely had these kids post-turning after breaking his woman’s jaw, not when he was a 16-year-old boy.
I acknowledge my error and sit corrected.
Two words. Umbrella hat.
I enjoy being a living human being too much, and wouldn’t want to see my wife and kids grow old and die while I stayed relatively young. If I’ve gotta be a vampire, though, Atrael’s or Mr. Excellent’s plans sound best to me.
Can Buffyverse vampires contract diseases (AIDS, hepatitis, Mad Cow, etc.) from blood they drink?
I don’t think it’s ever been covered, but I doubt it. They heal far, far better than most humans.
I consider myself a candidate for vampirism. As a “self-employed person”, I do some of my soundest sleeping during the day, and I greatly enjoy contact with women’s necks. It would also give me an excuse to dress a little more elegantly and help me cultivate my dark triad, which is about the only chance I’ll ever have at acquiring self-confidence.
That was an issue in one of the Dark Tower novels by Stephen King. A human captive was threatened with being bitten and infected by an HIV-positive vampire. IIRC, King’s vampires were carriers but didn’t get sick themselves.
You know, you people who worry about having to watch your loved ones grow old while you stay young – why don’t you just turn them, too?
Then you can have a REALLY forever marriage.
First, since I work nights and sleep in already, get even more pissed off that, not only does everything close about an hour after I like to get up anyway—a slight exaggeration, but then there’s the commute…and the fact that some of the (mostly but not always) smaller local businesses like to close really early so they can get home to tend the cows—but I can completely forget trying to wake up early/stay up late to go to a museum or a damned used book store except during the dead of goddamn winter. :mad:
After that, probably try and sneak over to a few choice locations on the Afghan/Pakistan border and raise a little hell. If I can’t find a certain target or two, I’ll just leave the area so infested with vamps and ghouls that the powers that be will have to nuke the place just to keep Asia from being overrun. Possibly starting another World War.
(I like my steak well done, and I’m not into sucking on random strangers’ necks. If can’t go to a damn stationary store nine months out of the year on top of that, the rest of the world can fry if I want it to.)
Becaue the person you turn will be an EVIL, soulless vamp, and as you are not Willow Rosenberg you cannot change her or him back willy-nilly, and if you call Willow to do so, she will, rightly, be annoyed with you. Not wise to annoy Willow.
Being a twilight type vampire would be largely more satisfying.
I feel I would probably spend a good deal of my time learning things I never had the time for before, because at that point, I would have all the time in the world, literally. I would like to think that I would become that extremely annoying person… ahem excuse me, vampire, that knew everything and could field any question ever in existence… to me… that would be fun…
is that weird?