My wife and I managed a wedding with 100 guests for about $5000. The majority of it was renting the location, which was a historical mansion. After that was the caterer, and when shopping my wife discovered that catering prices magically rise %40 when it a wedding. We ended up getting catered by Famous Dave’s which was quite a good deal and they didn’t do wedding prices. My wife ordered her wedding dress from China because while she’s very much in ‘Buy American’ most of the time she despises the wedding industry and is not pleased by their pricing models.
That sounds like organising a big party, as opposed to trying to make the dream-day fairy-tale perfect and having it be all about the bride, which makes a big difference. This is a good example showing it’s not how much money is spent, but what it’s spent on.
You know, bridezillas are out there, but I am getting a little sick of the idea that every woman’s good sense is immediately short circuited by weddings, turning them into some kind of insane prom queen.
Most of the ridiculous weddings that I’ve been to have been about the parents-- which probably brings its own set of problems. But the “me me me” wedding thing is far from universal.
I work weddings for a living. Most of my weddings are in the $20K-$50K range, some $100K+. As much as everyone wants to think these brides are all bridezilla crazy, that is very, very rarely the case. Most either just want to throw a good party for their friends and family or, with the help of their parents, want to do the same. I could count on one hand how many “me me me” weddings I’ve had.
I think there are so many things that kill a marriage that even looking at the amount spent on the ceremony is simply arbitrary and has little to do with the actual problems. Some marriages are doomed from the start (my first), others don’t survive inevitable storms that have nothing to do with the ceremony so many years ago. I think the OP premise is BS.
I feel the same way. I would have loved to give my wife a grand wedding celebration; we simply could not afford it at the time. Heck, in those days it was a challenge to make the rent every month.
I actually don’t really know what our wedding cost- I’m guessing around $20,000 - $25,000; her parents paid for about half and we paid for about half. And by “we” I mean my wife, since she had been working for years by that point and I had just gotten out of law school and was pretty much broke. My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, my wife’s dress cost $900, she carried wildflowers… those are the only specifics I remember. Our goal was to make it a fun party for the guests, not to make the perfect fairy-tale day. And I think we succeeded because some of our friends still (16 years later) tell us it is in their top 5 weddings they’ve attended.
We’re still together and we recently discussed whether looking back, if we’d do it again, or elope. We agreed that it was such a fun party, we’d probably do it again the same way.
If that means we have character flaws such as a lack of self-restraint, discipline and financial sense, so be it.
I went back and looked. $510 for the ceremony. Under $150 for the post-ceremony meal. I have no idea how much the bowling after-party cost. 
The source is people surveyed by TheKnot.com, which is a relatively upscale wedding-planning website. I’m guessing they didn’t man a bank of phones and call people at random, but instead presented a survey to their users.
The people who get married at city hall probably don’t go set up accounts on TheKnot. So, not even remotely a random sample, and thus pretty worthless.
I’m sorry to dampen this lovely dream but silkworms only eat mulberry leaves. Back to the drawing board for you.
Damn! Thankfully, although my home-made paper for the invitations is done, I have yet to complete my home-calligraphy course, so the date can be bumped up a few years.