It’s completely unscientific self-selected poll time again! Three cheers!
The topic of interest today is - kids, and when to have them.
At least in Australia, the age of first becoming a parent is increasing for both men and women. I believe it is similar in other developed countries.
This is usually framed as “women are delaying having their first child”. But if you’re part of a couple, presumably this decision is being together. At least, in a healthy relationship it certainly should be. So this is why I wonder…
If you are
-in a heterosexual relationship
-with kids, or trying for kids, or soon to have kids
Which of you was ready first - man, woman, or both at the same time?
We were ready at the same time because we had a plan. Our plan was to be married for around 5 yrs before having a child. When we’d been married 4½ hrs, I went off the pill and we let nature take it’s course. We were married 5 yrs 4 months when our son was born. I was 29½, he was 31.
We got married relatively late: I was 44 and my wife was 37. We wanted kids but we knew we didn’t have much time to spare. So we got started on trying to have kids pretty much right after we said our vows.
I put woman ready first, because my wife has always wanted children and once we were married (she was 25, I was 26) she really wanted children. I wanted children too (we agreed on that well before getting engaged) but felt we should enjoy a couple of years of married life together before taking the plunge - after all, you can’t put a baby back. She saw the sense in this and agreed, albeit slightly reluctantly. We’re now 28 and 29 and have a lovely 5 month-old boy, which we’re all very happy about.
When we met I was 27-nearly-28 and he was 36. I had been ready for kids for years, and he didn’t have any particular thoughts on the issue–he was happy to let me have my way.
Due to other factors (job situations, renovation and moving situations) we waited a little under a year after we got married to start trying. Good thing too, cuz it took right away.
I’m a few years older, and I was ready first… then I changed careers and rethought it when she was was ready… then we switched again. It took us almost 12 years to get on the same page at the same time, but we’re due in a couple of months.
My wife and I are about the same age. We married at 31, I was ready at that time, but she wasn’t entirely sure. When we started trying at 33 we both discovered we had fertility issues. We ended up adopting at age 39, at which point we were beyond ready.
That was our plan too, so 9 months and 2 weeks after we married we had our first. that was B.P. (before the pill), we had 4 kids in those first 5 years.
