My Aunt & Uncle have a child.
He is my first cousin.
He has a cousin on his mom’s side—me
He has a cousin on his dad’s side----“Joe”
Is “Joe” my first cousin too?
I’d say no. Isn’t this where we get into “once removed” territory?
He’s not your cousin at all. I think “removed” means kids of your second and higher order cousins. Some cultures/people might call Joe your cousin, but that would’t be correct. You don’t consider Joe’s parents your aunt and uncle do you?
Joe is not your cousin, because you have no ancestors in common - simple as that.
Your parents’ first cousins are your first cousins once removed, IIRC.
No, he’s not your cousin at all. You do not share any common ancestor.
First cousins, second cousins, etc. are people belonging to the same generation of descent from a common ancestor. Grandparents in common = first cousins, great-grandparents in common = second cousins, etc. (Siblings may be thought of as “zeroth cousins”).
“Removed” means being belonging to different generations of descent from the common ancestor. Your parent’s first cousin is your first cousin once removed. The common ancestor is the grandparent of the closest-order cousin, but you are a generation removed from that. Your grandparent’s first cousin is your first cousin twice removed, etc. Your parent’s second cousin is your second cousin once removed.
All clear?
Let me muddy the waters with a diagram!
[CENTER]Grandparents
Aunt/Uncle Parent
Cousin You
Cousin's Child Your Child
[/CENTER]
Obviously, your grandparents are your common relatives. For someone to be in your family tree, they need to be somehow related to your grandparents. Joe isn’t a relative of your grandparents - his relative simply married into your family.
Now, when people talk about generations, they mean the different lines as illustrated above. Your grandparents are the first generation, parent and the aunt/uncle are the second generation, you and the cousin are third generation and if/when you have them, your child and your cousin’s child are the fourth generation. X times removed refers to the number of generations between you. Your relationship to your cousin’s child would be First Cousin Once Removed because he’s a generation down from you. The same applies to your cousin’s relationship to your children. If there was another line - cousin’s child’s child - then that person would be a first cousin twice removed because he’s two generations away from you.
How do you get to second cousins, you ask? That’s by counting the generations back up to the children of your common ancestor. There’s only the one generation back to them from you - the aunt/uncle and your parent are the children of the common ancestor. However, your children and your cousin’s children will be second cousins to each other because it’s two generations back to aunt/uncle and parent from them.
Whoop- It seems like the people I’ve called my second cousins my whole life aren’t at all! They are firsts removed once. Thanks CMKeller, for fighting my ignorance.
Wiki provides a handy table:
No. Your relatives are people you share a common ancestor with. (Discounting in-laws, relatives by marriage, which can in addition to your spouse’s relatives include Uncle Harry, who married your mother’s sister Aunt Betty.)
But each person has his own suite of relatives by blood, exclusive to him and shared only with full-blood siblings. If “Ben” is your first cousin, both you and Joe are his cousins. But since his relationship to Joe is through a different set of ancestors than his relationship with you, you and Joe are not cousins. Otherwise, extending the scheme, everybody would be related to everybody. (Joe has cousins on the opposite side of his family from Ben, including Tom. Tom in turn has cousins on the opposite side of his family from Joe. And one of Tom’s cousins is, in fact, your wife. You see the problem?)
I’va always done the same knowinf in fact that they weren’t in fact my second cousins but having to explain to everyone the whole first-first removed-second workings just got too much for me and revert to first-second cousins.
Of course, while there is no genetic relationship, there may well be a social one, and you’re perfectly free to coin a term to describe it. In my family, we refer to such folks as “turkey cousins”, after one such family (whom we jokingly consider a bunch of turkeys) which is connected to our own.