As I see it, a previously-unknown cousin would be functionally a stranger to me. As I’m gay there’s no procreation issue. The only possible issue is if the previously-unknown cousin becomes part of the family there might be some weirdness. I think, then, that I would only cut off an existing relationship if it were close enough to get in trouble with the law. Here (South Africa) that means sibling, uncle or nephew; first cousins are OK. (And in fact, same-sex incest wasn’t illegal at all until 2007.)
I’ve told this story before, but my mother had a pair of cousins who eloped with each other, only for their mothers to threaten to disown them. They got divorced, but neither ever remarried or even dated anyone else. They’d been in love with each other since they were children. What a waste – as if one set of first cousins getting married is gonna bring about the downfall of western civilization.
If my hottie cousin is CM Punk, my panties are coming off so fast they’ll break the sound barrier 
I grew up around my first cousin, jay, and me and him were those cousins that saw each other every once in a while like every other month. And we ended up recently having sex with each other one night while i was sleeping in his bed due to no other sleeping spaces. It’s weird when i think about me and him being related, definitely too close for comfort!
There is no issue at all for a “romantic relationship”. It is perfectly safe, just as safe for siblings as for complete strangers. The problem arises if childbirth occurs, and the consequences will only affect the children born of an incestuous relationship, which places a high risk of the child inheriting two adverse reclusive genes, instead of just one with a dominant one to counteract it.
I’ve addressed the OP’s specific question, as asked. Is that what you were looking for? With respect to the offspring, there is always a danger of a child getting a pair of incompatible genes resulting in a defective birth. The probability rises as the parents are closer together in terms of their genetic contribution to the offspring.
Growing up, my first cousin and I were definitely sexually attracted to each other. Still are, as a matter of fact. He was nearly my first kiss, but neither of us could actually seal the deal, because it just wasn’t done. Even though I’m not genetically related to him (because he was adopted, something we both knew growing up), it was still taboo enough that we refrained.
Basque, second-cousins or anybody I’ve known as “a relative” since childhood is out*; my mother’s side, Catalan, has no problem with any kind of cousins.
- One of my classmates was a very-distant cousin once-removed. When we were 13 or so, some other girls were gushing about how his particular group of friends were all so handsome and this and that; I’d agreed on the first names and remained silent when his name came up. So I was asked “don’t you find Mike handsome?” “shrug family” “oh! :smack: sorry! of course!” It doesn’t matter in what degree or whether you’re not even blood at all, if someone is family they’re out of bounds.
I’m adopted, so genetics isn’t the issue. I also barely know my Dad’s side of the family. To answr though, no closer than 2nd or 1st once removed.
Given those background/setup circumstances – just met, were not raised “as family”, were never treated as part of the same household – no problem from my side as close as first cousin for the recreation-not-procreation aspect, as **Qadgop **puts it (and yes, barring a family history of major recessive genetic problems, it’s *repeated *cousin-breeding that is the real grave threat, but why take chances).
In my teenage years there was one first cousin I would have gladly gone for, had there been mutual interest. But only the one. All the others were just plain out.
You do know that as you wrote that, somewhere someone was already posting in a Mandarin or Sanskirt board that they would do their siblings. Because, hey, the Internet.
Just as an aside, bumping with your cousin is apparently a huge problem in Iceland. So much so that they’ve got an app to help avoid the problem.
I shocked a lot of my family members by saying I had no problems with first cousins getting together, even getting married, as long as they weren’t raised together or something. It’s not really very risky from a genetic standpoint. It’s a pretty irrational taboo.
When my husband and I married we became cousins by marriage. My aunt married his cousin. They had kids that were cousins to both of us. One day for fun we all started trying to figure out the relationships that would happen once we got married. We ended up making my aunt her own grandmother or some such silliness, and our children close enough cousins that if they weren’t siblings they could marry each other.
Then my aunt and his cousin got a divorce and ended much of the relationships, but our cousins were still our cousins.
My best friend in Pakistan is not only married to his first cousin, they are also second cousins, and half-second cousins as well. Tribal group in India and Pakistan, and they are part of the family of the de facto hereditary leadership. He once drew his section of the family tree, looked like spaghetti.
Lots of hereditary disorders. That’s considered the price you pay for retaining power and money in the family. Polygamy and men having a dozens of kids. My friend had a half great uncle younger than him. His great grandfather had kids over 40 years apart. His first daughter was a grandmother before his last son was born. Because of all the intermarriage, you can’t even tell if you are the same generation as someone else or not.
Irrational probably depends on how you were raised. I have a big extended family and a heap of first cousins. We were all raised in a big puppy pile, so to consider one of them as a romantic interest is just as squicky as a sibling, to me.
If I was falling for her, I would proceed even if she turned out to be my lost twin sister.
Why would my feelings change just because I discovered we’re related? Frankly, it’s a mystery to me. I can understand being grossed out at the idea of having sex with a close relative you know, but nothing changed in this perfect stranger when you discover he’s in fact an unknown relative, so what is grossing you out exactly? :dubious:
California is a first cousins state for marriage purposes. And cannibalism isn’t illegal here either. It was only when Arnold was governor that necrophilia was outlawed. Probably caused estrangement between Arnold and Maria.
Hey, so I stumbled across this tonight and I know it’s been a long time since anyone has discussed this. But I would like some opinions on this particular situation:
I am similar in age to my second cousin once removed. (My mom’s cousin’s son) We grew up only seeing each other on Christmas and not even then in recent years. We have been friends on Facebook for a long time and have had some intellectual conversations randomly through the years. We grew up with extremely different environments. He was raised by extremely liberal parents and my parents are insanely conservative. Surprisingly, now that we are adults, we have extremely similar views on current events and politics and the world in general.
He is part of an up and coming indie band which will be performing next week in Miami. He offered me a ticket to his show since I live down here now and said he really really wanted to see me. He’s pretty much the nicest guy I know and I remember that he gave really great hugs. (what more could you want? haha jk jk) I’m not sure what it’s going to be like to see him without the rest of the family there in a totally new environment (we grew up in northern VA) after such a long time.
Do you think it would be creepy or weird if I flirted with him or entertained thoughts of a possible romantic development? Am I crazy for thinking there’s a chance of some sexual attraction for either or both of us?
Huh. Hope I’m answering this right, but my best childhood girlfriend AND next-door neighbor growing up, we at some point learned (two girls) that we were a sort of cousins. Like my grandmother was her dad’s first cousin. It seemed so bizarre, because we didn’t have family gatherings together. So we often joked, if she had a brother, would I find it weird to have a relationship…? Nope. I mean, not personally. Although we grew up closer than many first cousins. I just wouldn’t have naturally found it odd.
In a strictly genetic sense, it should be okay for 2nd cousins to wed unless there’s some kind of medical condition that all descendents from the common great grandparents share. As for the “ick” factor, it’s probably a bad idea to wed a relative you used to baby sit or who baby sat you or you took nekkid baths together as toddlers.
Amazing how much I agree with myself… I already answered 2 years ago!
On a nitpick, the son of your mother’s first cousin is your second cousin. His child would be your second cousin once removed.
The genetic risks associated with second-cousin marriages are negligible, and SFAIK there are no legal restrictions on them in the US (or anywhere else). Socially, you’ll find that some people frown on it.