Reading through the incest thread (in which a couple of posters point out that first-cousin marriages are more common, and less reproductively risky, than we’re commonly led to believe) made me think about a recurring disagreement I have with my darling husband about what (or, rather, who) counts as a “cousin”.
I come from a family that’s pretty close knit, mainly because my mother was raised sibling-close to all of her first cousins on her mother’s side (my maternal grandmother had a gaggle of sisters, and they were all so close that they pretty much all lived within two blocks of each other as married adults, attended the same church, spent holidays together, and laid claim to all of each other’s kids), and so is pretty rabid about The Splendid Beauty and All-Encompassing Importance of Family.
So I grew up thinking of the children of my mom’s first cousins (still with me?) as my cousins. Because I was a late child in my own family, most of these “cousins” are not my age, so I didn’t grow up playing with them or anything, but my siblings grew up with them, and I always grew up knowing who they were.
Nonetheless, sometimes I’ll say something to my husband about “my cousin So-and-So”, and he’ll be like, “Who is So-and-So, again?” and I’ll say, “he’s my mom’s cousin Who-ma-Floo’s oldest son,” at which point my husband is all, “Your mom’s cousin’s kid? That’s not your cousin!”
To him, a first cousin counts as a cousin, but anyone beyond that level doesn’t count as one.
And to be honest, I’m not sure where I’d draw the line, but anyone who has thus far descended from one of my mom’s first cousins (whether they’re children, or grandchildren) is a cousin to me, because . . . well, I know them as such, and wouldn’t dream of making out with any of them.
What about you? Where do you draw the line? (And would YOU make out with any of my cousins?)