Now of course my point is already proven here but…indulge me. You all know this phenomenon. You don’t need any other examples to tell you what you already know. There is a plague in this land and its name is “wet, breathy, shit, counter-contextual, shorn of all passion and meaning, cover versions of otherwise fine songs”
In the UK we have had several years of “epic” (I use the word advisedly…i.e. wrongly) Christmas adverts for major stores such as John Lewis that pretty much defy description and demand scorn, hate and solid punches to the nuts. Listen to the link above…go on damn you, listen. Then come back and explain it to me. For fucks sake they take Frankie’s “the power of love”, use it for a Christmas advert…AND MAKE IT LESS CHRISTMASSY! Bastards to a man.
Not just Christmas though…oh fuck no! I nearly upchucked when I heard a citroen advert using a fucked-up version of the Jam’s “That’s Entertainment”.
Ah yes…of course. Nothing says “economical French hatchback” more than a cynical and biting tirade by a mod-influenced, quasi-punk, politically socialist three piece against the urban hell of a proto-Thatcher England.
“lights going out and a kick in the balls!” is obviously shorthand for the automatic headlights and the low-down grunt of the punchy engine…fuck me, I’m too old for this shit…and that’s swearing (as my dear old granny used to say).
I imagine Paul Weller sitting in front of the telly counting huge piles of used notes from selling his back-catalogue, hearing the first “haunting” notes of that bastard-child and, slowly, collapsing into a weeping wreck with his head in his hands as the camera pulls slowly back.
I don’t need validation here, I am obviously right. I just needed to vent.
Yea, I liked em to. I mean, they’re kinda saccharine, but if you’re looking for edgy, Christmas Season TV adverts for a department store is probably not the place to go.
Consider that nearly 30 years ago a version of The Smiths “Please, please let me get what what I want” was used very sensitively and in a contextually relevant way in a USA film.
No harm, no foul as I believe you say.
And for those who “like” the adverts, I understand how you can make such an error (and error it is) but I can’t find it in my heart to forgive.
As it happens, the visuals are incidental and inoffensive but the “music” ! ! sweet jesus it burns. For those who have never heard the originals I may be merciful, you have nothing to compare it against.
I don’t find your ire hard to understand at all. I just pick any song I really like, and imagine it being converted for Christmas into something that removes all the distinguishing features of said song. Even if I liked the ad, the music being neutered like that would bother me.
I think the thing that bothers me most is the lack of imagination. The bandwagon-jumping aspect is somewhat tiresome. Some of those adverts could be quite pleasant without the jarring tones of a mopey bint droning on.
The general approach at the moment seems to be…
a) choose song with superficially the correct word in title (i.e. “entertainment” )
b) slow the song down, change the gender of the singer
c) sing in a wet, wistful manner across the top of a plinky-plonky piano (or gentle strings)
d) collect cheque
e) repeat for next advertising contract and so on.
g) what happened to f?
f) ah, there it is.
Last year I heard a bit of Christmas muzak that’s still got me pondering whether I should have laughed or howled.
“Last Christmas”. You know, the Wham! song which has nothing to do with Christmas other than having the word in the title. It could have been last Easter, it could have been last Samhain.
This describes it exactly, except that it was being played in a supermarket rather than used in an ad. But so help me Saint Cecilia, I’m still trying to uncross my ears over that incredibly saccharine rendition.