Because it takes soooo much work to wave back at people who wave at you?
That’s the thought process here? “Do I know him? He just waved at me, but he could be a terrorist, so I better not wave back unless I’ve got positive ID.”
Oh you happy SINGLE boy/girl. I’m sure everyone is sympthathetic about your whining about your sorry exposure to greetings! How dare people greet you!
It is WORK NOT DEATH! What a shame you feel a death like approach to it.
levdrakon,
Nice, nice. Very nice. That’s one of the funniest things I’ve heard in awhile. I’m actually not sure if it should be as funny to me as it is, but I’ll not spare myself any pleasures if I can help it.
carnivorous gets a gold star as well. Elegently hateful.
dinsdale
Personally, I think the best way to deal with this problem is turnabout. Turnalldawaydafuckabout, and don’t forget to turn it all the way up too while you’re at it. Too much of anything is just too fucking much, so make their sugar tooth malignent. Engage them, and I mean really engage them. Fuck close talking, I want your breath to permeate their skulls, I want a single-celled organism to feel claustrophic in the space provided him between the tips of your noses. I want them to notice that very particular wrinkle in your forehead that only you have. I want them to be able to visualize that wrinkle when they look away. I want that wrinkle to haunt their dreams.
Now, this is a good start, but it’s not enough. We’re gonna need you to be really nice. Now you’ll have to-… no, I don’t mean… no, hear me out okay? And don’t look at me like that, it’s way off-mark. But we’ll get to your look later. And don’t worry, okay? This is only temporary. After just a little while under my plan, your social hindrences will be no more.
As I was saying… We’ll need you to be nice, but not just nice, we’re gonna need you to be scary nice… no, not Scary Spice, scary nice. Smile a lot. Smile too fucking much. Get your eyes good and bambi-sincere too… more… c’mon now… open them wider! I don’t want anime, I want Keane. Perfect! Alright, one last thing, I’m assuming you don’t have any stuffed animals? Right. Get some. Cute ones, of course. While you’re at it a calender with kittens or family circus themes of some sort would help, as would a coffee cup bearing some inanity of some kind. Yeah, I hate Mondays or something like that.
Okay, are you ready?
Go get 'em Tigger.
FUCK I’m glad I don’t work with you or NEAR you!
I’m glad I work with people who all have their own lives but actually don’t mind coming to work on Monday. Once at work we actually enjoy each others company. SHOCK HORROR!
Funnily enough not one of us has a cutsey coffee cup or fuzzy toy yet we all get along like actual adults!!! My goodness! How could this be?
Some adults actually take work seriously and don’t feel the need to make the workplace their own personal battlefeild.
Did you catch the “pass me at 30 MPH” bit? When I walk as much as I do (14 years with no car), I hear so much honking that 99.9% of the time is not directed at me. I hear a honk, turn to look, and see nothing to indicate that one of the drivers in the vicinity is trying to specifically get my attention. As I’m walking down a three-lane, one-way street, with a steady stream of cars going past in all three lanes, and somebody I know recognizes me from behind and honks as they approach from behind, I usually can’t pick out which driver honked before the honker and every car around him or her has passed me.
Well, you just never know, do you? 
What gets me is the super friendly/easily offended types.
This one lady always goes out of her way to say good morning. I generally give her a “Hi” back. But Friday morning I wasn’t feeling too cheerful and she didn’t hear me. So in the hall later she gets right in my face and says, “HI AGAIN! FOR THE SECOND TIME THIS MORNING!”.
Look, I heard you earlier and I replied earlier. I didn’t particularly feel like replying then, and I sure as hell don’t feel like being berated over it now.
This isn’t the first time this has happened. I don’t mind replying to a “Good morning”, but fuck if it should be a cause for indignation should I fail to reply or even not reply. Just because your cheery ass wants to wish everybody a good morning doesn’t mean I am obligated to respond. I know that common courtesy dictates that I try to get along, but she knows I hate that shit and she stills brings it.
So all you cheery motherfuckers just stay the fuck out of my face with that cheery shit.
Some major deprogramming is needed for Dinsdale so that she can function in corporate America. I have one compound word for her: Teambuilding.
!!!
Slowly I turned, the knife in my hand…
Can you believe at one point I actually headed our office’s Teamwork Team?!
If you think that was a productive and rewarding experience, you haven’t been paying attention.
BTW - guy here. You may need another round of sensitivity training. The first dip appears not to have taken!
Get out! Since when?
I’ve already had my sensitivity training this year. That’s why I didn’t assume you were a man. 