Cow-orkers: enough with the driveby "Hi"s already

The BBQ Pit
21

Ditto on the OP. My back is toward my office door when I’m at the computer (most of the time) and this bothers me, too. I did make the mistake of politely asking some of the more frequent “Hi, Iggy” ones to please not do it. Now they do it more frequently. I often do not recognize their voices and they do not stop to let me i.d. them so sometimes I’ll say, “Hi, Joe”., without turning around. There is no one named Joe in the office.

One cow-orker feels (seriously) that she needs to check up on me periodically ever since whe read the news article (no link) about an office worker in New York being found dead, sitting at his computer. He had been there for THREE days.

22

Come on, you know they’re talking about us.
They get together in their dark little corners and compare how we replied to their insipid greetings. They are making their ugly plans, and we have to act before it’s too late for all of us.

23

There’s a mandatory one point deduction for the use of the word “cow-orker”. I think Dinsdale is officially at zero right now.

24

I’m with the OP. It is rude to initiate a conversation and not stick around for a reply.

25

Finally, I get to be the obnoxious coworker.

Tiny company. I pass three offices in the morning and do a variation on a “Hey” for each. Of course, I also occasionally stop and chat, which probably means I’m a spawn of Satan.

You’ll be happy to know that I don’t say goodbye, though. Mostly because I’m always the last one here. Last one in, last one out.

26

You vicious, heartless woman. How do you sleep at night?

27

Next time I walk by your office, I’ll say, “Fuck you, you stupid asshole!”

28

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around your sign-in sheets, Dins, haven’t read the rest of your OP. DOE was hiring in Chicago but I’m loathe to send in the application now that I’ve heard there are sign-in sheets out there. shudder

I close my office door, btw. Our OGC is well-known for “personalities” so I fit right in.

29

Hey, I’m not stupid!

30

Part of our workforce is in a bargainning unit, so its required by the contract which requires (essentially) 8.5 hours within a flexible band. No idea how common that is in other agencies.

I was all set to spew invective at the first rudely polite person this a.m. when, as luck would have it, it turned out to be my boss. Cheerful pleasant people in the morning - damn their eyes!

31

Your wife’s countless affairs?

32

Please pardon the hijack. You know what I hate? The multiple 'Hi’s throughout the day. There’s this one bloke at work who says hi whenever he passes me in the corridors. I’m ‘Hi’d by him at least 5 times a day. It drives me freakin’ nuts! He’s fine in meetings and such, but what the heck is up with all the unnecessary extra 'Hi’s. One’s enough!

“Mike, do I really have to say hi to you eighty freakin’ times a day? Stop making me feel guilty for wanting to ignore/avoid you!!” Sheesh!

33
  1. Hi, Dinsdale!
34

I thought they we all doing Spiny Normal imitations.

35

I said “Hi” to the woman brushing her teeth in the ladies room after lunch this afternoon, and then I thought of this thread. (She said “Hi” back with her mouth still full of toothpaste.)

36

I don’t think you want these drivebys to stop at all.

Think about it. From tomorrow, say, a couple of the ‘Hi’ people walk by your office without saying ‘Hi’. You probably wouldn’t think much about it. Then on Monday two more ‘Hi’ people stop doing it as well. By the end of next week, nobody who passes by says anything at all. Not even ‘Hi’. Or ‘Is this the toilet?’

You will go crazy trying to work out why you, Dinsdale, once so popular with your colleagues that they couldn’t wait to say ‘Hi’ to you 12 times every day, now treat you like a leper.

You must learn to be a part of the system instead of criticising it. If you do not do this you will become an outcast from society as we know it. You will walk into meetings at work and everybody in the room will fall silent, start shuffling their feet and begin talking about the weather. You will be invited to leave the meeting early while the others discuss Any Other Business: Item 1 - Why doesn’t Dinsdale say ‘Hi’ like we do?

When you arrive at the office in the mornings you will see people hanging out of the windows pointing at you and saying to each other ‘That’s Dinsdale. You know. The guy who doesn’t say ‘Hi’ to people as much as we do.’ You will receive odd phone calls from internal office numbers. Your handset will ring but when you pick up the phone there will be silence at the other end. They are checking to see if you will say ‘Hi’ to them or not.

Your future is stark.

However, all is not yet lost. I can still help you. You need to get out of your office more. Go on spurious errands. Walk about the place with a piece of paper in your hand looking purposeful. Try to look as if you know what you are doing. If this is beyond you, take lessons or something. But (and this is important) wherever you go, for fuck’s sake say ‘Hi’ to people when you pass by their offices.

Take it slowly at first. If you start by saying ‘Hi’ to everybody on the first day you will be regarded with deep suspicion. Be gradual. Plan for a two-week ‘Hi’ implementation period, aiming for completion by 20 October. Develop your ‘Hi’ system seamlessly - it must not be transparent to your colleagues. Embrace the system, Dinsdale.

(This improbable advice is given to you free of charge as a ‘loss-leader’ for my consultancy services. I doubt we will ever meet but if we do, and you say ‘Hi’ to me, I will be really, really cross. This is because I am a totally subversive person who never takes anybody’s advice, especially when it’s my own.)

37

Sounds like someone’s got a case of ‘the Mondays’ and needs to go to Hooters.

38

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And so it shall be! :smiley:

39

Dinsdale: I think I’m actually part of the bloody bargaining unit. I got strong-armed into joining the union on the first day of work by my mentor and it was 12$ off the top of my salary to warm him up to me so I took the plunge*. I can’t believe I’d ever be expected to sign in to anything.

I have a theory that the further away you are from DC the slacker all the beuracratic stuff gets. Whenever I’m out there I’m agog at all the stuff they’re up in arms about, regulation loafers & monkey suits every day of the week, I think I’d go crazy. Around here you’re just expected to slink in looking quasi-competent. I have my eye on this Hawaii gig for my agency, she’s gotta turn in sooner or later though I bet there’s a huge line for that one.

*Before anyone starts a seperate thread about being strong-armed into unions referencing this comment let it be known that I’m politically flexible as necessary.

40

I saw the title and I thought this was going to be about people you know honking and waving at you from their cars while you’re walking down the sidewalk. That happens to me all the time, and it drives me nuts!

Most of these people don’t realize from inside their cars that reflections on the outside of their windows render them impossible to identify, especially as they pass me at 30 MPH. And that I don’t know what kind of car every one of my acquaintances drives. Especially when it’s somebody I see once a week, at most. Yet I get confronted several days later with people wanting to know why I didn’t wave back.