So, Maxwell House is apparently rebranding itself as Maxwell Apartment, because let’s face it—nobody can afford houses anymore. The marketers decided, “Hey, more people live in apartments, let’s make coffee sound just as depressing as rent day.”
The irony? The name Maxwell House came from the grand Maxwell House Hotel in Nashville, where Teddy Roosevelt supposedly declared it “Good to the last drop.” Regal! Historic! Coffee-worthy!
Now? We’re going from three syllables to five, from something that at least suggested coffee to something that sounds like a Craigslist rental ad. I’m not about to ask my spouse:
“Honey, can you pick up some Maxwell Apartment at the store?”
Nope. Doesn’t roll off the tongue. Sounds dumb. I don’t drink Maxwell House coffee. Plus, I don’t have a spouse.
I give it six months before it’s sipping instant with New Coke and Cracker Barrel’s “rebrand” in the Marketing Hall of Shame.
“Maxwell Apartment—good to the last rent increase.” 
How About: Maxwell Edison—majoring in java and minoring in medicine*