If not the dumbest they’ve set the bar pretty darned high.
Actually, although this hit the news early this year (2015), it actually happened last year. The article says they were “rescued” on Tuesday, which apparently means Dec. 30, 2014.
From the excerpt posted by Der Trihs above:
I can’t figure out what this is saying. Who wrapped the hose around the door handle on the outside? How does this prevent someone else from opening the door from the outside?
The hose is wrapped around the inside handle (and, I’m assuming, tied to something else) to prevent the door from being pulled open from the outside, is how I picture it. I haven’t been smoking crack, however, so I could be wrong.
But… But… But… It says the hose was green!
Shirley, that must be relevant! But how?
My theory is that they were pulling desperately at the door to open it without success. Had they tried pushing it, however …
Midvale School for the Gifted strikes again.
Oddly enough, I live two blocks from Midvale Boulevard.
Even more oddly, I live a block from Midvale Avenue.
I’m puzzled why the presence of the scouring pads was deemed relevant. OK, so maybe those are sometimes used in smoking crack (don’t ask me how, but I’ll take the story’s word for it). But it was a janitorial closet. Surely, janitors have plenty of occasion to use scouring pads for their original purpose, and so could be expected to have a supply on hand?
When I first saw this article it was on my phone and a combination of small screen and aging eyes made me think she didn’t look half bad. Now looking at the full sized article she is the oldest 25 year old I have ever seen.
It is this kind which are kind of old fashioned and not used as much anymore. And they mostly won’t have cocaine residue on them if used for a lawful purpose.
Crack is a hell of a drug. HAHAHAHAH
A whole new meaning to “get a room.”
Not nearly as oddly as you two might think. 
but twixter’s location is odder, living one block from Midvale Avenue. Just like if I were to live three blocks from Midvale Street, it would become odd again.
But still prime.
Ok ok, I should have said, “Evenly enough, I live two blocks from …”
I would like to see Amber Campbell Halloween masks this October. You have to admit, she has a quite distinctive crack-whore look.
Well yeah, there’s a dollar on her donut.
But I can only assume one of them would have redoubled their efforts once their closet-mate started pinching loaves in the unventilated, confined space. Personally, I’d have hammered that door like a copper sink.
Slightly harder to explain would be the janitorial use for a small pile of glass stems next to a pile of small silk roses.