Crackheads spend two days unable to get out of an unlocked closet

[twickster]

Surely we haven’t found the stupidest crooks of 2015 already –have we?

[pullin]

Thanks for the link. That’s the most hilarious thing I’ve seen all year. And that will probably be a true statement 363 days from now.

That’s even better than LOP*.
*Losers on parade. We use that acronym for both “Cops” and the local news.

[Gatopescado]

Nice Tat! A target for the “money shot”.

[running_coach]

From the article.

here police found human feces and copper scouring pads sometimes used to smoke crack

All this time, I thought the copper pads were all that was needed.

[Johnny_L.A]

As I said in the other thread:

@Me

Ah, Florida! The state that keeps ID Channel in business!

That was linked to the closeted crackheads. The story in other thread, which was about the guy who shortened his mom a bit, also took place in Florida.

And now there’s the story of Trey Radel, a Representative who voted for drug testing for food stamp recipients, being busted for cocaine possession. Where is he from? You guessed it; Florida.

[DingoelGringo]

@twickster

Surely we haven’t found the stupidest crooks of 2015 already –have we?

At least she is a beauty!

[MikeG]

“no drugs were found in the closet”

Yeah, not gonna be surprised there.

[Amateur_Barbarian]

There has to be more to this story. Okay, they’re crack heads, but two such should add up to a half wit or so and figure out that a door can be opened. Over 48 hours. Why did they think it was locked when it was apparently not a lockable door?

[grude]

@running_coach

From the article.

All this time, I thought the copper pads were all that was needed.

I’ve heard you can burn dried animal dung as fuel, maybe that is how they used it

[grude]

@Amateur_Barbarian

There has to be more to this story. Okay, they’re crack heads, but two such should add up to a half wit or so and figure out that a door can be opened. Over 48 hours. Why did they think it was locked when it was apparently not a lockable door?

I’m guessing this is one of those stories where the half story or misunderstanding is so hilarious no one is interested in getting the truth. We have all experienced those in life right? Where the story is so funny no one gives a crap it is wrong.

[handsomeharry]

@DingoelGringo

At least she is a beauty!

Compared to the guy to the left, sure.

[Encinitas]

@twickster

Surely we haven’t found the stupidest crooks of 2015 already –have we?

And don’t call me Shirley.

[pulykamell]

@Amateur_Barbarian

There has to be more to this story. Okay, they’re crack heads, but two such should add up to a half wit or so and figure out that a door can be opened. Over 48 hours. Why did they think it was locked when it was apparently not a lockable door?

Yeah, I’m with you here. Reading the story, it seems like something is missing/not quite adding up.

[Peremensoe]

Notice that one of the officers on the scene couldn’t figure it out either. He went in the closet, closed the door behind him–nope, not locked.

[grude]

Stimulant overuse can cause both sleep deprivation and something called dopamine psychosis, like paranoid delusions.

You know the old stereotype of the crack head convinced police are watching him with a hidden camera and skulking out in the bushes.

I wonder if instead of being locked in the closet, which sounds roomy, they were hiding in it convinced drug cartel assassins or the DEA or police were after them or something after being up for weeks stimmed out of their minds.

Doesn’t explain why they called 911 though, maybe they thought they could concoct some bullshit story to get out of criminal charges? Who knows.

[Colibri]

@Peremensoe

Notice that one of the officers on the scene couldn’t figure it out either. He went in the closet, closed the door behind him–nope, not locked.

Sometimes doors can be sticky and difficult to open even if they’re not locked. It’s possible they tried the door, couldn’t get it open, and then just assumed it was locked.

[JustinC]

@Colibri

Sometimes doors can be sticky and difficult to open even if they’re not locked. It’s possible they tried the door, couldn’t get it open, and then just assumed it was locked.

That would be a different kind of closet, altogether.

[running_coach]

That would be a different kind of closet.

[Johnny_L.A]

That would be a different kind of closet.

[Der_Trihs]

@Amateur_Barbarian

There has to be more to this story. Okay, they’re crack heads, but two such should add up to a half wit or so and figure out that a door can be opened. Over 48 hours. Why did they think it was locked when it was apparently not a lockable door?

An article with some more details.

The 31-year-old Arwood of Daytona Beach initially claimed he was being held against his will in a closet.

According to the reports and the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office, Arwood called his father in Osceola County on Tuesday and told him he was being held captive in a closet, Volusia sheriff’s spokesman Andrew Gant said. When the father called the Osceola County Sheriff’s Office to report his son was in trouble, Osceola sheriff’s deputies then called Arwood on his cellphone and were able to track his location by the phone’s signal, Gant said. They discovered Arwood was somewhere on the college campus; in addition Arwood told them he could see a white boat outside the room where he was being held, reports state.

<snip>

The disheveled pair told officers they had been in the closet for two days because they were locked inside. Police said a green garden hose had been wrapped around the door handle to prevent anyone from opening the door from the outside. Arwood and Campbell could have opened the door from the inside whenever they wanted, police said.

I’m thinking that they were either genuinely delusional enough to think they were locked in, or dumb enough to not figure out that the cops would notice that the door was unlocked. It depends on whether or not their imaginary story is based on delusions or some really poorly thought out lies.