Crafting a resignation letter. Need help!

In My Humble Opinion
1

The letter will be perfectly appropriate and professional, but the first letter of every paragraph will spell out “eat dick”.

I need help with the C! Can anyone help me brainstorm up some ideas? I just need words that might fit the resignation letter format that start with C. I’m hoping to jump-start my creativity, so anything you can suggest will help.

Thanks!

2

“Criticizing my fine work with no indication of how I could do better was one of your main problems.”

3

Thanks! The tone is a little different than I’m looking for, though. The text of the letter will be completely polite and professional. I don’t actually hate the job I’m leaving. :slight_smile: I’m just going for a joke on the way out.

4

Could you give us a hint of what type of sentiment the sentence is to express?

(See, that started with a C. I’m so clever. Which also starts with a C)

5

How about staring the paragraph off with Culminating?

6

"Certainly, my time at XYZ has been rewarding, and I will take many valuable lessons and positive memories with me.

FML

7

Every day spent at this company has been a learning experience… (I felt like a dog wearing a shock collar)

A better opportunity has arisen… (being an actual whore will be a step up)

To make myself completely clear… (I despise this place utterly)

Do not mistake my departure for disloyalty… (it is more akin to disgust)

I expect great things from this change…(my head will no longer be in danger of exploding)

Clearly my departure will necesitate some changes…(another ass will be needed to kick around)

Kindness is the word that best summarizes by memories of this place…(it would be a kindness to blow this place and the senior management into low earth orbit)

8

I went with something like this. I used “considering” though.

Thanks for the help, guys!

9

You do realize that no one will get the joke, or they’ll think the “Eat Dick” was inadvertent?

10

Bold each letter.

11

I’ve always preferred the direct approach:

Dear Asshole:
Fuck you. Irate letter to follow.

Sincerely, etc.

12

How can you spin

“I’ve appreciated my time here and wish you the best” into SEVEN paragraphs?!?