This afternoon, I had a customer come into the computer repair shop I’m working at that had a rather…unique, and amusing problem
I am being 100% serious here, this actually happened this afternoon, it sounds too strange to be true, but it is…
<MT> Me
<SC> Strange customer (man in his late thirties, about 6’ tall, stockily framed)
MT- Hi, welcome to <computer store>
SC- Hi, i have a kind of… strange… problem here, I think my PC has some viruses on it…
MT- well, it’s possible, I’ve noticed a lot more virus activity than normal, I’ve been fighting a Rootkit virus on a customer machine all afternoon…
SC- well, here’s the problem here, I go to <low voice>“adult websites”(he makes an “X” with his fingers and whispers every time he says “adult websites”) and I keep getting re-infected, I’ve had my computer worked on by five different shops, but I keep getting re-infected when I go back to those “adult websites”…
MT- so, when you go to a new …website…, you keep re-infecting your computer?
SC- no, I keep going back to the same “adult websites” and keep getting re-infected
MT- (mentally, I’m starting to get amused, but keep on a absolutely stony, , impartial businesslike facial expression) so, let me get this straight, you get your computer repaired, viruses killed, then you go back to the sites that caused the problem in the first place, and the machine gets re-infected?
SC- Yeah, that’s right, can I do something to prevent getting reinfected?
MT- Well… <must…remain…serious> have you tried <resist urge to laugh>…not going back to those …“websites”?
SC- I can’t, I can’t stop myself, I’ve tried <awkward pause>…isn’t there software I can put on my machine that will prevent me from going to those “adult websites”? something that will stop me from going to those “adult websites”?
<out of story here>
So, let me get this straight, this customer is asking me if I know of any way to STOP HIM FROM GOING TO ADULT WEBSITES?!?!:smack::rolleyes::smack: even after I told him to simply stop going to them?!? he’s admitting to himself that he, a supposed adult, has no self-control over his computing habits, and he needs a “Net Nanny” type program to protect him from …himself?…
<back to story>
MT- Yes, there are internet filtering/blocking programs that can be installed, but it’d be easier and cheaper to simply not go to those websites, you wouldn’t have to keep spending money to get viruses cleaned off your machine…
SC- yeah, but I can’t stop myself, I need to have something installed on my machine to prevent me from visiting those “adult websites”
MT- If you feel you need 'net filtering software, we can certainly put it on order for you** ,but it’d be a lot simpler to just avoid those websites…
SC- okay, thank you, let me think about it, i really need something installed on my machine to prevent me from going back to those “adult websites” again…
MT- okay, do you want me to order the software for you?
SC- no, not yet, thanks for the information though…
<SC leaves>
after the door closes, and the customer drives off, the head tech and I look at each other and bust out laughing, about his inability to stop his visits to those “adult websites”
I said I really had to hold my tongue when he asked if there was any way I could stop him from visiting those sites, as my instinct was to respond thusly
“okay, customer, come here for a second, put your hand on the counter…”
<I mime getting a ruler>
“BAD CUSTOMER” <THWACK>, BAD CUSTOMER <THWACK>, STOP <THWACK> VISITING <THWACK> ADULT <THWACK> WEBSITES <THWACK><THWACK><THWACK>
we both laughed this off for the next few minutes, and the phrase “adult websites” has become our new inside joke…